Drink Your Way to Peak Fitness
In a surprising new study, a fake scientist consulted by the source that at least admits it makes everything up, the Onion News Network, suggests that Americans perform the bulk of their fitness regimes while in a state of acute inebriation.In a surprising new study, a fake scientist consulted by the source that at least admits it makes everything up, the Onion News Network, suggests that Americans perform the bulk of their fitness regimes while in a state of acute inebriation. However, it’s important to note that it’s also possible to engage in these healthy activities while sober. –KA
Onion News Network:
Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk Rock Solid Journalism
In 2026, amid chaos and the nonstop flurry of headlines, Truthdig remains independent, fact-based and focused on exposing what power tries to hide.
Support Independent Journalism.
Related Stories
Health & Wellness
Adults who consume alcohol legally and responsibly outside of work aren’t penalized by employers. It should be no different for marijuana.
Global Voices
Why women in India who wanted a ban on alcohol now regret it.
America's prohibition on pot has wasted billions of dollars and unjustly harmed millions of lives, all while furthering racist policies.
If we taught men better ways of "being a man," we wouldn't have to teach women to cover their drinks.
Politics
Counseling and other services allow women to reclaim control and even develop a new purpose in life.
Sufferers of multiple sclerosis who consumed hard liquor experienced a degree of relief from disability, researchers report.
Health & Wellness
Adults who consume alcohol legally and responsibly outside of work aren’t penalized by employers. It should be no different for marijuana.
Global Voices
Why women in India who wanted a ban on alcohol now regret it.
America's prohibition on pot has wasted billions of dollars and unjustly harmed millions of lives, all while furthering racist policies.
If we taught men better ways of "being a man," we wouldn't have to teach women to cover their drinks.
Politics
Counseling and other services allow women to reclaim control and even develop a new purpose in life.
Sufferers of multiple sclerosis who consumed hard liquor experienced a degree of relief from disability, researchers report.
You need to be a supporter to comment.
There are currently no responses to this article.
Be the first to respond.