10 (Fake) Plagiarized Lines From Bush’s Book
After it emerged that entire sections of George W. Bush's new memoir, "Decision Points," were plagiarized from books by former aides, The Borowitz Report asked our followers on Twitter to come up with the best plagiarized first line for the book.After it emerged that entire sections of George W. Bush’s new memoir, “Decision Points,” were plagiarized from books by former aides, The Borowitz Report asked our followers on Twitter to come up with the best plagiarized first line for the book.
After several hours of crowd-sourcing, here are the results (and thanks to the thousands of people who contributed):
— They were betterer times, they were worserer times.
— It is a Truth universally acknowledg’d that Halliburton must be in Want of a Presidency.
— Are you there, Satan? It’s me, George.
— The past is a foreign country; we need to blow it up.
— Midway through the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, because I was shitfaced.
— A girl got a pet goat. She liked to go running with her pet goat.
— All children, except one, grow up.
— If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to do is talk to Cheney.
— Goodnight, Kanye.
— My momma always said life was like a jar of fetus.
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2010 Creators Syndicate
Wait, before you go…If you're reading this, you probably already know that non-profit, independent journalism is under threat worldwide. Independent news sites are overshadowed by larger heavily funded mainstream media that inundate us with hype and noise that barely scratch the surface. We believe that our readers deserve to know the full story. Truthdig writers bravely dig beneath the headlines to give you thought-provoking, investigative reporting and analysis that tells you what’s really happening and who’s rolling up their sleeves to do something about it.
Like you, we believe a well-informed public that doesn’t have blind faith in the status quo can help change the world. Your contribution of as little as $5 monthly or $35 annually will make you a groundbreaking member and lays the foundation of our work.
Support Truthdig
Karl Ove Knausgaard set the literary world on fire with his six-volume novel, "My Struggle." His new book is a meditation on life, time and family.
Since the 1985 publication of “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat," neurologist Oliver Sacks has been enlightening readers with sharply observed, generously humane medical case studies. In his latest book, "On the Move: A Life," Sacks presents an extended study of the patient he knows best: himself.
When a high-profile politician is in office, self-disclosure comes at too high a price, however carefully orchestrated it might be. But now that Blair has left 10 Downing Street, the former British prime minister is telling his story—and trying to protect his legacy—in a new memoir.Now that the former British prime minister has left 10 Downing Street, he's telling his story—and trying to protect his legacy—in a new memoir.
The former British prime minister's fall from boy wonder to lapdog caricature has a lot to do with George W. Bush and their shared Iraq adventure. In his new autobiography, normally the place for reflection and re-evaluation, Blair defends both his relationship with the American president and the mess in Mesopotamia.
Americans have always preferred Laura Bush to her husband, and now Scribner, an imprint of a division of a subsidiary of Sumner Redstone's National Amusements, is hoping to capitalize on that appeal with an "intimate" new memoir set for 2010 release. There's no telling how much the better Bush is getting paid, but "millions" is a safe bet. Update after the jump.
More than a quarter of a century before Barack Obama made his name with a speech at the Democratic National Convention, another African-American politician, Willie L. Brown Jr. of San Francisco, did the same -- but under much different circumstances.
There are currently no responses to this article.
Be the first to respond.