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The exiled Palestinian

I am -Jerusalem born- Palestinian refugee living in exile for over 40 years.
I was forced to leave my homeland, Palestine at the age of seven during the six-day war.

I am a mathematician by profession but art is one of my favourite pastimes, I love hand-made things, so I make dolls, cards, and most of my own clothes.

I also writepoetry, and participate in dialogues with known and unknown friends as I believe that communication is the first step of understanding, I believe in building bridges not walls.

My shy and extra sensitive nature hinders me from public speaking, so I try to compensate for my shortcomings by writing!

I started writing about three years ago when my friends insisted I should writeabout my memories, experiences, and my feelings as a Palestinian.

I did… but it all came out -for some strange reason- sounding -as I was told- like poetry!

So I self published two books (I Believe in Miracles, and Palestine, The True Story), after which, I felt –kind of- embarrassed that everyone was calling me a poet.
In fact I’ve never ever read any poetry or literature in the English language (I read in Arabic though); as my study was purely scientific and my interests were purely political and factual.

Feeling like a fake fluke I decided to join a creative writing group for a few months.
So I -kind of- did it upside down , or the other way around

I have been reading Truthdig for a while now, but only recently that I started posting.

Our world had suffered enough, and still is, and I’d like to do my little bit to be part of the solution, to help and heal.
I’d like to think of myself as a justice-advocate, a peace-activist, and a believer in God, and goodness of human nature.

Get to know me

Physically:
Normal looking
Sub-normally looked at
Abnormally dealt with
Joyfully sad eyes
Head inflamed with grey hair
Petite for my age
Giant with my pain

I would say
A beautiful beast
Or an ugly butterfly

Emotionally:
Extremely sensitive
Yet incredibly thick-skinned
I feel so much for all others
While “some-others” deny my own existence
Spectrum of two extremes of intense emotions
Fluctuating between
Unwavering hope and utter despair

I would say
A strong wimp
Or a spineless hero

Intellectually:
Above average
Below-humanly perceived
Viewed as a mentally suppressed creature
Trying to solve the world’s problems
While failing to figure out my own
Sharp with a great deal of naivety
Simple with much complexity

I would say
A stupid genius
Or a gifted fool

Spiritually:
Faith is my lone reason for being
My fountain of hope
Overflowing with love, and joy
Yet for some I am the source of evil
And manifestation terror
Sporadically vibrating with the yoyo of my deeds
Between intimate nearness and lonesome isolation

I would say
A mild extremist
A hostile angel
A tender terrorist
And mischievous child

Wouldn’t you agree?

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If you ask about my veil, just look:

Beyond the veil

My modest dress that you see
As a sign of oppression
Is for me the symbol of ultimate liberation

It urges you to look beyond the veil
To peel the skin
To peep through the physical
The limited… the confined
Straight into the essence
The infinite … the boundless

It’s a glaring statement
I am more than just a body
I am a mind… a heart
And a soul

Don’t just stop there
At the door
Come in
Get to know me
For what I really am

It gives me contentment
And great satisfaction
With my femininity

It gives me dignity
As I refuse to be portrayed
As a sex object

It gives me freedom
To choose my dress
Not only wearing what men desire

It gives me protection
From all undesired attention
For my intimacy I only share
With the one I love
Does that make any sense to you?

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And the one I love was/ is and will always be Khaled and to him I say:

Tell them

Sweetheart
Did you hear the rumours?
People are whispering, they say:
Our love is a myth… a fairy tale
It can’t be real
Too good to be true

Sweetheart
People are talking, they say:
Something surreal has happened between these two
The fable of their love is legendary
Mighty death has failed to obliterate
Their everlasting union

Sweetheart
People are mumbling, they say:
Love cannot survive marital ties
Nor the test of time
Love dies when you sign the papers
And as you say “… I do”

Sweetheart
Tell them it’s not true

Sweetheart
Tell them
Hair may turn grey
But hearts never do

Sweetheart
Tell them
Indeed… our life might be over
But our love is yet a seed
That only just began… to bloom

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And about life, joy and pain I say:

Let there be love

I am in pain
Yes…
Too much pain
I don’t deny

Yet, wings of joy are spread wide
Carrying me through
Lifting me high

Joy of knowing you
So closely

Joy of being part of your life
If only for a while

Joy of sharing memories
That no one knows but you and me

And if I was to choose another life
I’d choose my life with you again
And again
And again
And again

If you make a home for “love” within your heart
Despite the pain your life becomes a home for joy

Let there be love
And there’ll always be joy

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my blog address: http://poetryforpalestine.spaces.live.com/
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