parenting

Best Parents Ever Do Away With Homework

Nov 19, 2009
A Canadian couple have negotiated something called a Differentiated Homework Plan with their children's school after learning that there is no guarantee that after-school toil does a lick of good. As a result, young Spencer and Brittany Milley of Calgary will not be judged on anything but their in-class performance. (continued)
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Parents: Stalk Your Own Kids on Facebook

Sep 8, 2009
Parents everywhere may feel as if they're losing their kids to the Internet, or more specifically, to those mysterious "social networking" time-suck sites like Facebook and Twitter. However, take it from the chirpy hosts of "today NOW!" -- The Onion's eerily realistic spoof on morning-show blather -- parents can also use these sites to their stalking advantage.

White House Releases Obama’s School Speech

Sep 8, 2009
With some parents still reluctant to send their children to school Tuesday for fear that President Obama will indoctrinate them with his scary socialist ideals, the White House has attempted to ease the hysteria by releasing the full text of his speech a day early. Now doubters can do a close textual analysis for objectionable content.

From the Annals of Retired Fascist Baby Names

Nov 25, 2008
The Movimento Sociale-Fiamma Tricolore party in Italy has offered to pay $1,940 to parents who name their children after Benito Mussolini or his wife Rachele. The "purely casual" name game is meant to address low birthrates and not fascist nostalgia, according to the far-right party. Sure.

Cyborg Parents From Hell

Nov 1, 2007
Pretty soon, we're going have to amend the favorite mom and dad moniker of the moment. Those much vaunted helicopter parents are turning into black-helicopter parents. The image of parents hovering over their kids is morphing into the darker image of parents spying on their kids.

Outsource Your Parenting Duties

Jul 4, 2007
This fake news report from The Onion envisions a solution for busy, cost-conscious parents: Just ship your kids overseas and get day care for pennies on the dollar. There's something unnaturally cute and funny about the mom in this clip preparing her child for shipment.

The Brand-a-Baby Biz

Jun 26, 2007
From $50 for a list of suggestions to $475 for a numerologist to test the positive and negative associations of a certain name, the baby name business is booming. Sociologists and name researchers are reporting an increase in the level of stress that parents-to-be experience when choosing baby names, according to The Wall Street Journal.

Obama’s Father’s Day Sermon

Jun 19, 2007
The subject is absent fathers. The implications for black America are dire. The fact is that "there are a lot of men out there who need to stop acting like boys; who need to realize that responsibility does not end at conception; who need to know that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one."