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Happy Feet: Your Gay Penguin Romance Update

Fans of the Toronto Zoo’s same-sex penguin couple Buddy and Pedro will be dismayed to hear that the bonded pair will soon be parted and subjected to heterosexual retraining measures (paging Marcus Bachmann) — specifically, placing them in contained areas with females — in the interest of saving their species. This is a sobering bulletin from the bird world, yet we feel it can serve as an object lesson when seen through an anthropomorphic lens. Or something. –KA

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