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Dogma National Park

If you’ve been thinking about a vacation to the Grand Canyon but worried someone might try to assault you with information, fear not. Park employees are not allowed to reveal the true age of the formation for fear of offending Christians, and the bookstore features a manuscript claiming the canyon was created during Noah’s flood.


Largest Minority:

How old is the Grand Canyon? A knowledgeable geologist would say that the canyon itself was formed within the past 5 or 6 million years. Fairly young by geological standards, but far too old for those who think Jesus’ life was similar to a Flintstones cartoon. Of course, anyone who watches the Colbert Report knows that the facts are not to be trusted. When it comes to geology, such accepted information is downright offensive to Bush administration appointees at Grand Canyon National Park. “In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER) Executive Director Jeff Ruch.

This denial of reality has extended far beyond the personal beliefs of park officials, affecting all employees and visitors. Employees of the park are not permitted to give an official estimate of the canyon’s geological age, and are instead required to reply with “no comment” if posed with the question. A pamphlet providing guidance for staff in making distinctions between science and religion when speaking to park visitors about geologic issues has also been suppressed since 2002 by Bush appointees.

As if that weren’t idiotic enough, a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah’s flood rather than geological forces has been on sale at the park for over three years now. In August 2003, Park Superintendent Joe Alston attempted to block the sale of the inaccurate biblically-based book, only to have his decision overruled by National Park Service (NPS) headquarters. Records also show that during the same year, Grand Canyon officials rejected 22 books and items from the bookstore while only approving the sale of the one creationist book. Executive Director Ruch added, “this is equivalent of Yellowstone National Park selling a book entitled Geysers of Old Faithful: Nostrils of Satan.”

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