Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous for Nation’s Idiots

Staff / Truthdig Jan 12, 2011 Bad weather trapping you inside today? Well, stay put, lest you become like one of these hapless fools featured in The Onion News Network's "Snowpocalypse" faux exposé, good for a laugh on a wintry day. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Apple Unveils New Friend Bar for Chatty Geeks

Staff / Truthdig Dec 30, 2010 First there was the "Genius Bar," and now -- at least in The Onion's satirical parallel universe -- there's the "Friend Bar," a welcoming space in which users can converge and talk for hours about their Apple products without scornful repercussions. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Drink Your Way to Peak Fitness

Staff / Truthdig Oct 12, 2010 In a surprising new study, a fake scientist consulted by the source that at least admits it makes everything up, the Onion News Network, suggests that Americans perform the bulk of their fitness regimes while in a state of acute inebriation. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve

Staff / Truthdig Sep 16, 2010 In response to a serious shortage in sensitive, eligible males in the U.S., President Barack Obama authorizes the unleashing of 500,000 bachelors into American society in this faux news clip from The Onion. It's unclear, though, whether they're technically considered combat troops. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Time Magazine: Now for Adults

Staff / Truthdig Aug 25, 2010 The Onion mocks Time's glossy infographics and inane weekly updates on Jesus and depression with this biting parody. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Prison Economy Spirals as Cigarette Prices Spike

Staff / Truthdig Aug 24, 2010 A small note of warning to our readers about the content of this video: It is definitely, as they say, NSFW. It's a bit rude. But it's also, like many things that come from the Onion News Network, good for a laugh. Happy Monday! Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Girl Raised From Birth by Wolf Blitzer

Staff / Truthdig Jul 15, 2010 The Onion has a little fun at the expense of CNN's situational anchor and his "colorless monotone." Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Apple Gives Geeks a Fun New Way to Socialize

Staff / Truthdig Jul 12, 2010 Those of us who own Apple products, or who just live within a stone's throw of a major shopping venue, are probably already familiar with the Genius Bar phenomenon at Apple stores. The Onion has an even better idea for how geeks can get their fix while they splash out the cash. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Startling New Lyrics to ‘Star Spangled Banner’ Revealed

Staff / Truthdig Jul 5, 2010 Get your fill of patriotic celebratory rituals over the July 4 weekend? Or maybe you're kind of over it all, which would put you in just the right frame of mind to watch this rather irreverent little musical number conjured up by the Onion's twisted humorists. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Soccer Is Sooo Gay

Staff / Truthdig Jun 18, 2010 It's about time that soccer came out of the closet, and the Onion's shrewd satirical sports reporters are on that case like a horde of sweaty, brawny footie players on a polka-dotted ball. You doubt this timely news bulletin? Well then, two words for you: World Cup. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Newspapers Revamp Print Editions for Nearly Nonexistent Readership

Staff / Truthdig Jun 10, 2010 Big changes are afoot at The Boston Globe, The Washington Post and other relics of the bygone print media era in their aggressive effort to retain the handful of actual newspaper readers they still may have This is one of those moments when the Onion (continued). Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )

Finally, Some Overdue Attention to the Pancake Crisis

Staff / Truthdig May 27, 2010 The highly pressing matter of H.R. 323, otherwise known as the "IHOPs Should Stay Open All Night So We Can Get Some Pancakes Act," may be a figment of The Onion writing staff's twisted satirical imagination, but we can't say for sure that ideas like this haven't occurred to our friends in Congress. Dig deeper ( 1 Min. Read )