“Making up a reason to invade a country is the easy part,” the former vice president said, according to a satirical story in The New Yorker. “Sticking to a pretend story for ten years—that is the stuff of valor.”
One good thing might come out of the sequester, according to comedian Andy Borowitz. In a satirical report for The New Yorker, he writes that the budget cuts may prevent American forces from fighting "totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts."
With unprecedented crises engulfing the world, millions of television viewers are finding the news too stressful to watch -- and are turning to the Fox News Channel instead.
Concerned that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak did not receive his message to begin a peaceful transition to democratic reforms, President Barack Obama said today that he would resend the message, "but this time in all caps."
In addition, Bachmann suggested slashing the federal budget by eliminating nine of the first 10 amendments to the Constitution. "I think you know which one I'd keep," she chuckled.
In a memo, House Speaker John Boehner explained, "From now on, we will say that he was born nearish America, and perhaps even as close as Cuba."