Want Food Stamps? Become a Massive Corporation, Says Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert is clearly on to something. “The Colbert Report” host has figured out a solution to how poor Americans needing food stamps can get them back after the program was removed from the GOP-controlled House’s recently passed farm bill. His answer is simple really: Poor people just need to become massive corporations, and then Republicans will give them all the welfare they want!
Colbert based his solution on how the Republicans were able to get the most recent version of the farm bill through the House. He explains that the legislation, which generally provides subsidies for farmers while giving nutritional aid to those in need, had not passed in two years. Among the reasons a previous version didn’t pass earlier this year is because dozens of Republicans wanted deeper cuts to food stamps. So in order to get this one approved, the GOP “reached an historic compromise on food stamps by eliminating the food stamps.”
“Republicans showed that they can compromise by removing the part of the bill they refused to compromise on,” Colbert added. “It’s like a cardiologist who’s having trouble treating a patient’s heart. Rather than getting bogged down with complicated procedures, he simply removes the heart. Problem solved!”
But on Sunday’s “Face the Nation,” host Bob Schieffer called out Republicans for removing food stamps from the legislation. “You pass a farm bill in the House that gives billions of dollars, much of it to large corporations that own farms,” Schieffer told GOP Congressman Mike Kelly of Pennsylvania. “It’s almost like welfare for the wealthy. But you don’t include a dollar for hungry people for food stamps. What kind of message is that?”
“I’ll take that one, Bob,” Colbert interjected. “It is a principled conservative message based on the old adage, ‘Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Take away his food stamps, and he’ll found FishCo, a multinational food conglomerate that gets a massive subsidy in the next farm bill.’ ”
The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,Video Archive
If you're reading this, you probably already know that non-profit, independent journalism is under threat worldwide. Independent news sites are overshadowed by larger heavily funded mainstream media that inundate us with hype and noise that barely scratch the surface. We believe that our readers deserve to know the full story. Truthdig writers bravely dig beneath the headlines to give you thought-provoking, investigative reporting and analysis that tells you what’s really happening and who’s rolling up their sleeves to do something about it.
Like you, we believe a well-informed public that doesn’t have blind faith in the status quo can help change the world. Your contribution of as little as $5 monthly or $35 annually will make you a groundbreaking member and lays the foundation of our work.Support Truthdig
There are currently no responses to this article.
Be the first to respond.