The Race for Name-Caller in Chief

The increasingly contentious race for the Democratic presidential nomination got a little bit nastier today as Sen. Hillary Clinton charged that her chief rival, Sen. Barack Obama, wet his bed when he was a toddler.

Iowans have grown used to displays of testiness on the part of the leading Democratic contenders in recent weeks, but few were prepared for Clinton’s accusation that her surging opponent had been a bed-wetter.

Moments after her campaign released this latest bombshell, Clinton went to great lengths to show that the bed-wetting incident, while occurring when the Illinois senator was only 3 years old, was “relevant” to the current presidential campaign.

At a campaign stop in Cedar Rapids, Clinton said that the alleged bed-wetting incident “should not disqualify” Obama for the White House but should make Democrats “think long and hard” about voting for him in next month’s caucuses.

“Personally, I don’t have anything against having a bed-wetter in the Oval Office,” Clinton said. “But you can be sure that the Republican right-wing attack machine will have a field day with this kind of thing.”

At a campaign appearance in Davenport, Obama brushed off his alleged bed-wetting as an “isolated incident,” and added an apparent jab at Clinton: “I’m not the one who’s so scared about this race that I’m peeing myself now.”

In response to Obama’s remark, Clinton later released a statement referring to herself as “rubber” and Obama as “glue.”

Elsewhere, the state of New Jersey banned capital punishment, arguing that living in New Jersey was bad enough.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2007 Creators Syndicate