Those reporters who were given just three Internet-free hours to curl up with John McCain’s huge stack of medical records (right before Memorial Day!) were privy to some mighty intimate details about the presumptive Republican nominee — and pundits were subsequently saddled with the task of making talk of polyps, chin herpes (ew!) and freckled buttocks somehow sound like good news for the GOP.

For his part, Jon Stewart gave viewers a more graphic graphic with his own artistic rendering of McCain’s speckled, er, cheeks.

Watch the clip:

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