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Republicans Cut Shirts From Budget

Fake news by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON — In an effort to show that they are serious about reducing the size of the federal deficit, a group of House Republicans announced today that they would totally eliminate shirts from this year’s congressional budget.

The lawmakers, who call themselves the Shirtless Republicans and are led by Rep. Christopher Lee, R-N.Y., appeared in the Capitol rotunda this morning naked from the waist up. “We are going to slash this budget until it is as ripped and shredded as my abs,” Lee said, adding that in order to postpone their eligibility for Social Security, the Shirtless Republicans would also subtract seven years from their stated ages.

Immediately after their appearance, a spokesman for C-SPAN said that the network would immediately pull the plug on all future broadcasts from the House of Representatives: “We don’t think the American people should have to see this.”

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2011 Creators Syndicate

Andy Borowitz
Contributing Columnist
Andy Borowitz is a political humorist, TV commentator, and the man behind the news parody website The Borowitz Report. Borowitz, a Cleveland native, created the smash TV comedy The Fresh Prince of Bel Air,…
Andy Borowitz

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