When it comes to the apocalypse, there’s no such thing as a partial success. It’s like being pregnant. So here are our choices: Either the world is going to end this year, as New Agey types believe by interpreting the ancient Mayan calendar through the lens of their “hippie consciousness-expanding nonsense,” like this helpful clip puts it, or it’s not. Most likely not. –KA

YouTube via Gizmodo:

AS CHAOS UNFOLDS, FIND SOLID GROUND…

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