Jon Stewart Proves Corporations Are Not People, Once and for All

Wednesday’s “The Daily Show” must have had Wall Street banksters reeling, and with good cause. In his search to prove corporations are not human, Stewart pondered, “If only there were some way to prove that corporations are not people, show their inability to love, to show that they lack awareness of their own mortality, to see what they do when you walk in on them masturbating.” The late night show host then offered his audience a litany of infractions corporations, namely banks, have committed and then used their seeming immunity to actual punishment as proof they are not people.

After all, people are held accountable for crimes such as systemic fraud, unlike Bank of America that simply offered Freddie Mac a “cut” of its profits after selling bad mortgage loans for a decade. Watch as Stewart, to use his metaphor, walks in on Wall Street masturbating and nothing happens to those responsible for destroying our economy and the livelihoods of thousands upon thousands of people. As the comedian puts it, “It’s that old saying, ‘Don’t do the crime if you can’t pay the nominal fee.’ ” As long as these criminal conglomerates avoid all consequences for their actions, they are not only not human, they are inhumane.

Meanwhile, keep in mind that the Supreme Court said it will rule on two cases that will determine whether corporations are human enough to hold religious beliefs and thus deny their workers contraceptive coverage as stipulated under Obamacare.

—Posted by Natasha Hakimi