Imus Moves to Al-Qaida Network

Just days after his “Imus in the Morning” program was dropped by MSNBC, embattled shock jock Don Imus bounced back nicely today, landing a new show on Osama bin Laden’s fledgling Al-Qaida TV network.

While Mr. Bin Laden’s al-Qaida terror network has made headlines in recent years, the same cannot be said for his Al-Qaida TV network, a perennial ratings laggard.

Critics of the network’s programming say that it is dull and uninspired, including such shows as “Osama in the Morning,” in which the fugitive terror mastermind spews repetitious hate-filled rants from a drab cave.

In fact, Mr. Bin Laden’s programming woes have been so pronounced that jihadist viewers around the world have urged the madman to abandon television altogether and focus on terrorism instead.

But after seeing Mr. Imus make his controversial remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team, Mr. Bin Laden decided that the New York shock jock was just what the doctor ordered to pump up the al-Qaida network’s anemic schedule.

According to network insiders, Mr. Bin Laden envisions Mr. Imus as the anchor of a daily, three-hour “hate block” of programs, the other two of which would star actor Mel Gibson and comedian Michael Richards.

Professor Davis Logsdon, dean of the University of Minnesota School of Broadcasting, said the controversial Mr. Imus could be “the perfect fit” for the Al-Qaida TV network.

“When Osama bin Laden’s face appears on television, millions recoil in horror,” professor Logsdon said. “The same is true of Don Imus.”

Elsewhere, James Frey’s book “A Million Little Pieces” won the Pulitzer Prize for nonfiction, and also for fiction.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

Copyright 2007, Creators Syndicate