Ahmadinejad Promises Democratic Reforms in Egypt
"Your call for democratic freedoms has been heard loud and clear," Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told the protesters. "And soon, they will be instituted in Egypt, where you can visit them."Fake news by Andy Borowitz
TEHRAN — In a dramatic address to pro-democracy protesters in Tehran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promised the people of Iran that there would soon be democratic reforms in Egypt.
“Your call for democratic freedoms has been heard loud and clear,” Ahmadinejad told the protesters. “And soon, they will be instituted in Egypt, where you can visit them.” He said that every Iranian who thirsts for democracy “should rejoice at it blossoming such a short plane ride away.”
In an effort to cater to the social-media habits of Iran’s youth, Ahmadinejad said that the Iranian government would soon establish a Facebook page for democracy and permit the protesters to click on “Like.”
The Iranian president said that democracy in nearby Egypt plus a democracy-themed Facebook page show that the Iranian government is “bending over backward” to listen to its people. “I know that you want democracy,” he told the crowd. “But for the time being, you’ll just have to settle for hypocrisy.”
Elsewhere, democracy continued to sweep every Middle Eastern country that George W. Bush did not invade.
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2011 CREATORS SYNDICATE
Your support matters…Independent journalism is under threat and overshadowed by heavily funded mainstream media.
You can help level the playing field. Become a member.
Your tax-deductible contribution keeps us digging beneath the headlines to give you thought-provoking, investigative reporting and analysis that unearths what's really happening- without compromise.
Give today to support our courageous, independent journalists.
TD Column
How Republicans are effectuating a reactionary secessionism within our government.
TD Interview
Discussing the independent presidential candidate's forceful advocacy for economic democracy, social justice and restraint in foreign policy.
TD Column
Does South Carolina’s updated voting map violate the 14th and 15th Amendments?
World
Speaking to the UN General Assembly, Miguel Díaz-Canel stressed the need for "changes that can no longer be postponed."
Asia Pacific
The monarchy needs the army to safeguard the throne and the army needs the king to justify its role in politics.
Environment
Statistics and arguments alone cannot power the climate struggle—hope is what sways hearts.
You need to be a supporter to comment.
There are currently no responses to this article.
Be the first to respond.