Fake news by Andy Borowitz

TEHRAN — In a dramatic address to pro-democracy protesters in Tehran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promised the people of Iran that there would soon be democratic reforms in Egypt.

“Your call for democratic freedoms has been heard loud and clear,” Ahmadinejad told the protesters. “And soon, they will be instituted in Egypt, where you can visit them.” He said that every Iranian who thirsts for democracy “should rejoice at it blossoming such a short plane ride away.”

In an effort to cater to the social-media habits of Iran’s youth, Ahmadinejad said that the Iranian government would soon establish a Facebook page for democracy and permit the protesters to click on “Like.”

The Iranian president said that democracy in nearby Egypt plus a democracy-themed Facebook page show that the Iranian government is “bending over backward” to listen to its people. “I know that you want democracy,” he told the crowd. “But for the time being, you’ll just have to settle for hypocrisy.”

Elsewhere, democracy continued to sweep every Middle Eastern country that George W. Bush did not invade.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”


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