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Tag: The Onion


The U.S. Army (CC BY 2.0)

Islamic State of Iraq and Levant Too Extreme for Al-Qaida (Not the Onion)

Ayman al-Zawahiri, now the leader of international terrorist organization al-Qaida, has disavowed the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant.

Posted on Feb 4, 2014 READ MORE


CNN’s Awful Steubenville Rape Coverage Compared to ‘Onion’ Satire

The cable news channel’s controversial reporting was eerily similar to a segment that aired two years ago on The Onion’s short-lived Comedy Central sports news satire program “Sportsdome.”

Posted on Mar 19, 2013 READ MORE


Sexiest Kim

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Posted on Nov 28, 2012 READ MORE


O Talks: Ideas Not Worth Spreading

The Sapling Foundation’s TED Conferences have taken a beating in the press this year. In May, Alex Pareene of Salon called them “a money-soaked orgy of self-congratulatory futurism” after the group refused to publish a talk on income inequality. Now the satirical website The Onion is taking a whack.

Posted on Oct 20, 2012 READ MORE



Obama the ‘Clear Favorite,’ Clinton Aide Goes Rogue, and More

A look at the day’s political happenings, including one state increasing access to birth control, Rick Perry’s poor debate performances explained and a funny “Saturday Night Live” parody of undecided voters.

Posted on Sep 24, 2012 READ MORE


Obama Begs Voters Not to Make His Daughters Switch Schools

Let’s see which gullible politician might pick up this little satirical number from The Onion News Network and think it’s for real. Meanwhile, the rest of us can enjoy a good spoof on campaign ads at President Obama’s expense.

Posted on Feb 13, 2012 READ MORE


American Dream Declared Dead

In case you didn’t notice, the American dream is officially dead, and The Onion News Network has the footage to prove it. Watch aghast as one small-business owner runs out of steam after a particularly complacency-inducing session in front of the tube.

Posted on Apr 21, 2011 READ MORE


Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

This video details the makings of a conservative hero: a high school sophomore who purposefully fails Spanish to save his country, pledging to “speak American” instead. The Onion News Network’s “Beyond the Facts” has more on this heartwarming (faux) story.

Posted on Mar 22, 2011 READ MORE


Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous for Nation’s Idiots

Bad weather trapping you inside today? Well, stay put, lest you become like one of these hapless fools featured in The Onion News Network’s “Snowpocalypse” faux exposé, good for a laugh on a wintry day.

Posted on Jan 11, 2011 READ MORE


Apple Unveils New Friend Bar for Chatty Geeks

First there was the “Genius Bar,” and now—at least in The Onion’s satirical parallel universe—there’s the “Friend Bar,” a welcoming space in which users can converge and talk for hours about their Apple products without scornful repercussions.

Posted on Dec 29, 2010 READ MORE


Drink Your Way to Peak Fitness

In a surprising new study, a fake scientist consulted by the source that at least admits it makes everything up, the Onion News Network, suggests that Americans perform the bulk of their fitness regimes while in a state of acute inebriation.

Posted on Oct 11, 2010 READ MORE


Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve

In response to a serious shortage in sensitive, eligible males in the U.S., President Barack Obama authorizes the unleashing of 500,000 bachelors into American society in this faux news clip from The Onion. It’s unclear, though, whether they’re technically considered combat troops.

Posted on Sep 15, 2010 READ MORE


Time Magazine: Now for Adults

The Onion mocks Time’s glossy infographics and inane weekly updates on Jesus and depression with this biting parody.

Posted on Aug 25, 2010 READ MORE


Onion report

Prison Economy Spirals as Cigarette Prices Spike

A small note of warning to our readers about the content of this video: It is definitely, as they say, NSFW. It’s a bit rude. But it’s also, like many things that come from the Onion News Network, good for a laugh. Happy Monday!

Posted on Aug 23, 2010 READ MORE


Friend Bar

Apple Gives Geeks a Fun New Way to Socialize

Those of us who own Apple products, or who just live within a stone’s throw of a major shopping venue, are probably already familiar with the Genius Bar phenomenon at Apple stores. The Onion has an even better idea for how geeks can get their fix while they splash out the cash.

Posted on Jul 12, 2010 READ MORE


star spangled satire

Startling New Lyrics to ‘Star Spangled Banner’ Revealed

Get your fill of patriotic celebratory rituals over the July 4 weekend? Or maybe you’re kind of over it all, which would put you in just the right frame of mind to watch this rather irreverent little musical number conjured up by the Onion’s twisted humorists.

Posted on Jul 5, 2010 READ MORE


soccer is gay

Soccer Is Sooo Gay

It’s about time that soccer came out of the closet, and the Onion’s shrewd satirical sports reporters are on that case like a horde of sweaty, brawny footie players on a polka-dotted ball. You doubt this timely news bulletin? Well then, two words for you: World Cup.

Posted on Jun 17, 2010 READ MORE


onion newspaper

Newspapers Revamp Print Editions for Nearly Nonexistent Readership

Big changes are afoot at The Boston Globe, The Washington Post and other relics of the bygone print media era in their aggressive effort to retain the handful of actual newspaper readers they still may have. This is one of those moments when the Onion ... (continued)

Posted on Jun 9, 2010 READ MORE


ENTER_ALT_TEXT

Finally, Some Overdue Attention to the Pancake Crisis

The highly pressing matter of H.R. 323, otherwise known as the “IHOPs Should Stay Open All Night So We Can Get Some Pancakes Act,” may be a figment of The Onion writing staff’s twisted satirical imagination, but we can’t say for sure that ideas like this haven’t occurred to our friends in Congress.

Posted on May 27, 2010 READ MORE


keg stand

Mexico Builds Border Wall to Keep Out U.S. Assholes

This immigration-themed parody from the geniuses at the Onion is much needed at this time. Actually, we were a little slow to come upon it, but its relevance—and brilliance—endures. Someone ought to stream this directly into Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s office, stat.

Posted on May 13, 2010 READ MORE


Onion Takes to Horse Racing With a Whip

Sports shows, with their screaming hosts, red-light-district sets and gimmicky segments, simply demand parody. The Onion delivers just in time for the Derby with this spin on horse abuse and/or racing.

Posted on Apr 26, 2010 READ MORE


Reality Show Disrupts Congress

Satire by the Onion

Cameras heat up the legislative process. Bipartisanship? Rep. William Cummings and his fellow cleaning-product hucksters aren’t here to make friends.

Posted on Mar 1, 2010 READ MORE


What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Opponents of gay marriage say they want to protect the sanctity of the institution, but what if marriage were limited to people who love each other? The Onion has this satirical take on the marriage brouhaha.

Posted on Feb 16, 2010 READ MORE


Teleprompter Malfunction Leaves Obama Speechless

The president needs to start making some remarks off the cuff, because he’s leaving himself wide open for this sort of parody. And no, while it bears a resemblance to Fox News, this is not real.

Posted on Jan 28, 2010 READ MORE


Limbaugh
AP / Chris Carlson

This Is Not an Actual Rush Limbaugh Column

The wicked (and satirical, everyone!) masterminds over at The Onion have once again cooked up an illuminating, if discomfiting, parody—this time in prose form, skewering the particularly contentious public figure of Rush Limbaugh. It’s not pretty, but then, neither are many of the statements Limbaugh has emitted over the course of his storied broadcasting career.

Posted on Jan 25, 2010 READ MORE


Final ‘Lost’ Season Threatens Human Decency

“Lost” producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse guest star in this Onion clip, joking that the show’s fans are about to get more annoying than ever, driving their roommates and loved ones into emergency “Lost” shelters to escape amateur theories about parallel dimensions.

Posted on Jan 20, 2010 READ MORE


Consume Joe Biden Responsibly

The vice president’s “suave original personality” and “sly trademark grin” might make him an excellent pitchman. The Onion mocked up this joke ad campaign for Hennessy and it kind of works—almost too well to be funny.

Posted on Jan 12, 2010 READ MORE


Slut Alert

VH1 viewers might be momentarily fooled by this satirical Onion clip, which pokes fun at the cable network’s habit of producing low-brow television shows built around the antics of drunk, sexed-up lady folk. A bit nasty, but then so is the material that inspired it.

Posted on Jan 5, 2010 READ MORE


‘Modern Combat 3’—We Can Hardly Wait

The new “Call of Duty” video game took in a cool $310 million on the day it launched, thanks partly to “heart-racing action,” as the developer put it. According to the satire masters at the Onion, the next version—yawn—is already in the works.

Posted on Nov 16, 2009 READ MORE


Google privacy village

The Onion: Is Anyone Safe From Google?

Worried about the info-hungry beast that is Google going after your personal details with grabby-handed glee, greedily harvesting private information about your tastes, desires, shopping habits and geographical location with impunity? There is a way out, in the form of a remote mountain village sealed off from the world.

Posted on Nov 11, 2009 READ MORE


Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck Gets a (Satirical) Drubbing From The Onion

Wow. It’s eminently clear from this pretty amazing faux news report by The Onion News Network that staffers at that hallowed humor hub really, really don’t like Fox News scenery-chewer Glenn Beck, as they’re willing to go to the very edge of acceptable humor, or perhaps past that, to make their point here.

Posted on Nov 4, 2009 READ MORE


Onion morning show

Parents: Stalk Your Own Kids on Facebook

Parents everywhere may feel as if they’re losing their kids to the Internet, or more specifically, to those mysterious “social networking” time-suck sites like Facebook and Twitter. However, take it from the chirpy hosts of “today NOW!”—The Onion’s eerily realistic spoof on morning-show blather—parents can also use these sites to their stalking advantage.

Posted on Sep 8, 2009 READ MORE


Onion coup

Pesky National Debt Wiped Out by Faux Coup

Should this ever actually happen, The Onion gets credit for its prescient mock-up of a hostile takeover of the American government by a militant, yet strangely familiar, enemy organization bent on ... completely obliterating the ever-increasing U.S. debt.

Posted on Aug 4, 2009 READ MORE


The View From Denny’s Just Ain’t So Grand

Satire from The Onion: “President Obama announced today he will drastically scale back his agenda for America after a visit to a Denny’s restaurant ... caused him to ‘completely reconsider what our nation is capable of achieving.’ ”

Posted on Jun 8, 2009 READ MORE


Franz Kafka International

A Ticket to Angst at Franz Kafka Airport

If you thought your air travel experiences have been nightmarish recently, chances are they’re not as bad as the daily goings-on at Prague’s Franz Kafka International Airport—a fictional (or is it?) hub of despair in which the word terminal takes on a much more angst-ridden meaning.

Posted on Mar 24, 2009 READ MORE


ENTER_ALT_TEXT

Bush Tours America to Survey Damage Caused by His Disastrous Presidency

In breaking satirical news coverage, visibly moved broadcasters report on what may be the president’s finest moment.

Posted on Jul 22, 2008 READ MORE


Did Bush Put a Hit Out on Fannie, Freddy?

From madcap marketeer Jim Cramer to wired alt-blogger Scott Thill, there are more than a few braniacs who believe the Bush White House did not just watch the collapse of Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac but actually engineered it as yet another sortie in the long GOP war against the New Deal. Never fear, though, as The Onion has already written a satirical report on efforts to build a better bubble.

Posted on Jul 21, 2008 READ MORE


ONN Reporter

Fessing Up to Those Tiny Employees

In this satirical news brief, the Onion envisions a world where marketing and exploitation meet. What if clothing companies that depend on abusive labor practices were honest about it?

Posted on May 10, 2007 READ MORE


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