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By Nick Turse (Editor)
$23
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 Flickr / Gage Skidmore (CC-BY-SA)
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Texas Gov. Rick Perry brought in more than $17 million in campaign contributions during the first seven weeks of his candidacy for president, his campaign announced Wednesday, probably putting him far ahead of his Republican rivals for the same period.
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 Flickr / BohPhoto
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First he wins the presidency of the U.S., then he wins Time’s Man of the Year. Now a poll shows that Barack Obama holds a sizable lead among Americans as the most admired man in the world. Coming second was George W. Bush and third was John McCain, proving once again the horrible imagination Americans have when finding inspiration outside politics.
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By Andy Borowitz — The $42-billion contract represents the first time that the company has been employed to put its reconstruction expertise to work on one embattled human being. (satire)
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