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By Joe Conason $9.35
Edited by Hunter Davies $29.99
$22
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By Andy Borowitz — Vowing to boldly go where no gourmet coffee chain has ever gone before, Starbucks Inc. announced today that it would build its first coffee franchise on the moon by the year 2020.
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Bush’s new space policy, the first major overhaul in 10 years, reserves the right to prevent access to space to anyone “hostile to U.S. interests.”
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The space agency’s mission statement has been quietly altered to omit mention of the phrase ?...to understand and protect our home planet.?
Why does George Bush hate Earth?
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The space agency will now allow its scientists to speak to the media without public affairs officials muzzling them.
Posted on Mar 31, 2006
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 From www.jeffsweather.com
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Ozone, which had been considered a minor player in global climate change, is actually a major factor in the dramatic warming of the Arctic zone, according to NASA.
Worse, scientists are reporting that climate change is “irreversible,” as Arctic sea ice has failed to re-form for the second year in a row.
Posted on Mar 15, 2006
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 From spacegrant.nau.edu
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The 24-year-old presidential appointee tried to hush up a top climate scientist and add the word “theory” to mentions of the Big Bang. | story Also, he lied about graduating from Texas A&M. | blog
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The president may be urging algebra and chemistry on high-schoolers, but his administration can’t run away from the chilling effect it has had on scientific inquiry. For example, a young presidential appointee at NASA ordered Web designers to append the word “theory” after every mention of the Big Bang (scroll half-way down the article). Wanna know what it takes to become a NASA spokesman? Well, it doesn’t hurt to write columns linking Saddam to Al Qaeda, or insisting that Rumsfeld had nothing to do with the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandals.
Posted on Feb 5, 2006
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With the announcement coming from a source like NASA, we expect Bush to get so upset that he’ll forget to work out. | story
Posted on Jan 24, 2006
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