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Jane M. Hightower
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Although he denies it in this clip from Thursday’s “Colbert Report,” David Frum is indeed a “conservative apostate.” What else can being fired from the American Enterprise Institute possibly mean? And what does all of this have to do with Scientology?
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Conservative faux-pimp prankster James O’Keefe earned high praise from Fox News’ starring lineup—Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, among other Murdochians—for his infamous ACORN prostitution “bust” depicted in a video ... which turns out to have been edited, perhaps with a goal in mind. In keeping with this spirit, Stephen Colbert engaged in a little deceptive ... (continued)
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Sure, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein once crowed that his firm was “doing God’s work,” but, as Stephen Colbert points out here, Blankfein never actually specified which God he was talking about. Perhaps it was Hades, Greek god of the underworld. Given the state of the Greek economy, that may not be too much of a stretch.
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Eliot Spitzer is attempting to work his way back into the public’s good graces, and the former New York governor braved “The Colbert Report” on Tuesday night, only to be roundly “condemned” by Stephen Colbert. However, Spitzer has a certain likability, Colbert admitted, which might have something to do with having nothing to hide anymore. (continued)
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So, this “Game Change” book is making waves in the political world, what with its tales of infighting and palace intrigue in both leading candidates’ camps during the 2008 election. Stephen Colbert takes a peek between the covers before interviewing one of the book’s authors, John Heilemann, about the veracity of his, and co-author Mark Halperin’s, claims in these clips.
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Thank goodness “The Colbert Report” is back on the air, and just in time to comment on the attempted airplane attack in Detroit on Christmas Day, which was nearly, er, pulled off by a new kind of dirty bomb. This, plus the prospect of full-body scanning in airports, leads Stephen Colbert to point out that terrorists may not stop at wiring explosives near their junk.
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Glenn Beck is pushing it, as are Laura Ingraham and Bill O’Reilly. Nothing shores you up better for the coming Obamapocalypse than gold, that familiar, shiny and dependable element that calls to you, as Stephen Colbert points out, from the periodic table. Or if you don’t have gold, try women—or sheep.
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Do Americans really need to know how sausage gets made over at the Federal Reserve? As Stephen Colbert points out, there may be a little pig rectum in the mix, but as long as the Fed’s minions are allowed to perform their secret rituals, which may or may not involve ritual chicken slaughter, we all profit in the end, no?
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As usual, Glenn Beck exhibits an, um, unusual political sensibility in his analysis of Barack Obama’s West Point speech and the president’s plan to send 30,000 more American troops to Afghanistan. Luckily, Stephen Colbert is on hand to translate Beck’s logic puzzles with the help of his other favorite plastic friends, GI Joe and My Little Pony.
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President Barack Obama clearly brought great shame upon his nation by taking a deep bow from the waist during his recent visit to Japan. This ill-conceived gesture undoubtedly revealed that he’s weaker than Karl Rove’s chin—and that was even before he got to China.
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Having trouble finding gainful employment in these difficult times? Wouldn’t it be great if, say, Lorenzo Lamas could help you out in your job search for the low, low price of $300? Lucky for you, this is an achievable dream—or you can do it for free with a handy e-mail-ready semi-personalized endorsement from Stephen Colbert.
Posted on Oct 27, 2009
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Stephen Colbert is on a serious tear in this “Colbert Report” clip from Tuesday night’s show, tackling religious symbology, reptilian champion of atheism Christopher Hitchens, canary-eating Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and the infamous Three-Fifths Compromise all in one go—and that’s before he busts into the Apostles’ Creed.
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When President Obama Chicago lost out to Rio for the 2016 Olympic Games, none were more pleased than the members of a conservative organization called—wait for it—Americans for Prosperity. Well, they didn’t specify whose prosperity they were rooting for, as Stephen Colbert points out in this clip.
Posted on Oct 6, 2009
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Boy, Stephen Colbert got a lot accomplished on “The Colbert Report” this past week! He established whose God was best (duh) and why writing an Op-Ed in The New York Times is a clear sign of desperation and defeat (double duh), and he even managed to outdo Rep. Barney Frank in the table-talk department. But with what kind of cracker does Obamargarine go best? Hmmm.
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What exactly do those dastardly Democrats mean when they talk about “community standards” vis-à-vis health care reform? Only one thing, of course—death panels! But hold on, Mr. Gingrich and Mme. Palin, where are either of those terms written anywhere in the reform proposals?
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Does President Obama have it in for senior citizens and Sean Hannity? What’s to become of “high-fructose families” under our socialist president’s alarming new health care system? Stephen Colbert explores all this and more while keeping his enraged forehead remarkably still.
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There’s a war on guns raging all over the United States ... except in Tennessee. Thanks to American hero/state Sen. Doug Jackson, Tennessee gun owners can now carry concealed weapons into bars to settle their differences over a round of shots. Check out this clip from Wednesday’s “Colbert Report.”
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Stephen Colbert interviews Lt. Gen. Charles H. Jacoby Jr., commander of U.S. troops in Iraq, and asks where we are now in the war, what “trust exercises” he does with the Iraqis and just what is the difference between Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran? Check out this clip from Wednesday night’s “Colbert Report.”
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Former Florida Sen. Bob Graham says the CIA didn’t brief him about the use of waterboarding on suspected terrorists, and he has the records in his personal notebooks to prove it, as he points out during a timely book tour stopover on Wednesday’s “Colbert Report.”
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Stephen Colbert is a big fan of the National Organization for Marriage’s “Gathering Storm” ad—“It is like watching ‘The 700 Club’ and The Weather Channel at the same time!” But now the storm is hovering over Colbert’s own state, and he’s getting nostalgic for more traditional times of yore.
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What’s with all these fancy economic algorithms that supposedly explain what goes down (or up) on Wall Street but are unintelligible to the average American? Why not make a new model that everyone can understand—and that’s always on the up-and-up?
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Is American exceptionalism just a euphemism for nationalized narcissism? Are narcissists to blame for the cataclysm on Wall Street? Stephen Colbert takes a read on the national zeitgeist and brings in Slate columnist Emily Yoffe to declare that certain public figures might suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. Let the armchair diagnosing commence!
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The problem with opening a decision to public input is that you could be stuck with a silly outcome, as NASA has learned after the word Colbert became the runaway winner in a contest to name a new room of NASA’s international space station.
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What’s to be done when companies that received major bailouts from taxpayers turn around and brazenly offer beaucoup bucks to the executives who helped put us in the hole in the first place? Here are a couple suggestions by way of an answer: Pitchforks! Angry mobs!
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What with all this economic turmoil of late, not to mention a suspected socialist in the White House, right-wing pundits like femmebot Michelle Malkin and fellow Fox-friendly cretin Glenn Beck are looking to “author, philosopher and female comb-over pioneer” Ayn Rand for guidance. Stephen Colbert thinks they should move to an island all their own, where less work gets done on purpose.
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Who knew that, among his many talents, Stephen Colbert possesses the astonishing power of clairvoyance? Watch in awe as he successfully predicts the lineup of Oscar winners ... and reveals the true identity of Kate Winslet’s father.
Posted on Feb 24, 2009
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Gloria Steinem. Jane Fonda. Arianna Huffington. Stephen Colbert. Here we have feminism’s greatest hits. You’ve been warned.
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Are the Democrats taking a page from the former administration, ramping up the fear-mongering factor in order to sway Americans to support their cause—in this case, the pork-packed stimulus bill? Stephen Colbert investigates ... and gets ready to meet Jesus at his local Arby’s.
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President-elect Barack Obama says he thinks he can find a way to fix the American economy, which leads top economic wonk Stephen Colbert to conclude that Obama might just need a little extra confidence—and the help of a strangely alluring body spray for men.
Posted on Jan 13, 2009
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Who knew Jon Stewart could carry a tune? The “Daily Show” host tries to get Stephen Colbert to warm to Hanukkah, with its wooden tops and potato pancakes, in this duet from “A Colbert Christmas.”
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Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again, when little white lights are hung on trees around the world, people start shopping madly, and ... country superstar Toby Keith strings popcorn garlands with Stephen Colbert.
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How could Martha Stewart ever outdo herself after luring Snoop Dogg onto her show? Maybe she should just pack it in ... or maybe making silk dupioni mistletoe spheres with Stephen Colbert would be just the ticket.
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Stephen Colbert has figured out John McCain’s new campaign strategy of trying to paint his rival as a socialist: “Clearly the McCain campaign is targeting its most important voter: Joe the McCarthy.”
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Warrantless wiretapping makes for a rollicking good time at the National Security Agency, according to moral crusader Stephen Colbert, who’s not above a little dramatic re-enactment of his own biblically inspired carnal fantasies (for illustrative purposes only).
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Right, so Kathleen Parker, columnist for the National Review (now officially a Buckley-free zone), didn’t really divulge on Monday’s “Colbert Report” exactly who in the White House wrote her secret e-mails to commend her for declaring Sarah Palin to be unprepared to head to the White House in any capacity. But Colbert did get close to finding out whom Parker will vote for on Nov. 4.
Posted on Oct 14, 2008
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Choosing the winner of the first presidential debate proved to be a tough call, but Stephen Colbert has a few ideas about how to settle the issue, starting with John McCain’s staggering insights about the differences between various Asian populations around the world—and ending with the electrifying moment when McCain “reached out to the key swing vote ... reptiles!”
Posted on Sep 30, 2008
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It may sound like an impossible feat to appear in a popular superhero series without even having to physically show up for the job, but that’s just what Comedy Central pseudo-pundit Stephen Colbert has pulled off by lending his name and likeness to Marvel Comic’s “Amazing Spider-Man” #573.
Posted on Sep 30, 2008
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When faced with that nagging “Where’s Osama bin Laden?” question once again during a press conference about 9/11, White House spokesperson Dana Perino pointed out that President Bush & Co. don’t have superpowers. Oh, right! Well, Stephen Colbert has a few suggestions about super-skills specially tailored for Bush.
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So what was with all of the invocations of the deity at last week’s Democratic National Convention? Stephen Colbert talks about the Dems’ public displays of piety with Lori Lippman Brown, director of the Secular Coalition for America, producing another kind of sacred text to take the Bible’s place as he swears Brown in for her “Colbert Report” testimonial.
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This one’s going to be hard to top. A competitor in Stephen Colbert’s patriotic “Make McCain Exciting Challenge” has thrown down the gauntlet big-time with a creative adaptation of Madonna’s “Vogue” video from her infamous cone-bra era. Only one thing could top it, and that can be summarized in one word: Whitesnake.
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Harnessing the power of the Internet, Stephen Colbert challenged his viewers to place the usually drab John McCain into more lively circumstances by using the latest Christ-created green screen technology.
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Say what you will about Libertarian Bob Barr, but one thing’s for sure: We haven’t seen a mustachioed presidential contender like this since ... Teddy Roosevelt? During a “Colbert Report” appearance on Wednesday, Barr seemed pleased with Stephen Colbert’s assessment of his tea strainer, but gave his host the wary eye throughout the rest of his visit. A very serious man, that Bob Barr. No sudden moves, Stephen.
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Author and columnist David Sirota braves the Colbert treatment to talk about his (Sirota’s) latest book, “The Uprising: An Unauthorized Tour of the Populist Revolt Scaring Wall Street and Washington,” and to brazenly assert that, “People are angry with the status quo—they think the establishment isn’t working for them, and frankly, it’s not.”
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In this “Colbert Report” clip, Stephen Colbert gives Bruce Springsteen a televised talking-to about The Boss’ recent lefty-leaning lyrics, beckoning Bruce to his show, and drinks himself under the table with the help of a cold Miller Lite. Or was that a Coors Light?
Posted on May 22, 2008
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Well, as you’ve probably noticed by now, John Edwards has publicly backed Barack Obama as his candidate of choice. There’s just one problem, as Stephen Colbert reminds us: Edwards previously said on Colbert’s show that he’d support the candidate who pledged to do the most for the nation’s poor—and the one who supplied him with a jet ski. But he hasn’t gotten that jet ski yet, has he now, Mr. Obama?
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Stephen Colbert is a feisty one, but he might have met his match in Huffington Post editrix Arianna Huffington, who came to his Thursday show sassy in lace and camera-ready with quips like, “You know what it’s like for John McCain to be endorsing torture? It’s like you becoming the president of the Grizzly Bear Fan Club.” In the nick of time, Colbert stole the show back from Huffington with his comeback to her best McCain zinger.
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Stephen Colbert has himself a laugh over the many superstitions of John McCain, whose political success can be attributed to his independent reputation and his lucky feather.
Posted on Apr 30, 2008
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Ersatz pundit Stephen Colbert, shedding crocodile tears, bids farewell to the presidential campaign of Republican Mike Huckabee, to whom he had given his faux endorsement.
Posted on Mar 6, 2008
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You know you’ve hit it big when you’re the topic of an academic study on the media. As it turns out, there’s a demonstrable effect known as “the Colbert bump,” which entails a boost in campaign cash for politicians who make a stop at “The Colbert Report” while on the campaign trail. Translation: Stephen Colbert can count on a full dance card for, say, the next few decades.
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The pseudo pundit proves once again that he is a master of satire with this interview with the Human Rights Campaign’s Joe Solmonese, who does his best to respond to questions that, for once, sound as dumb as they are.
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