Tag: Andy Borowitz

Reports: Afraid to Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox

Reports: Etch A Sketch 2 Takes Gadget World by Storm

Reports: Unemployment Rose Last Week by Two and a Half Men

Reports: Ahmadinejad Promises Democratic Reforms in Egypt

Reports: Republicans Cut Shirts From Budget

Reports: Obama to Resort to Communicating With Mubarak in Caps

Reports: Michele Bachmann Proposes ‘Don’t Add, Don’t Spell’

Reports: In New Era of Civility, GOP Says Obama Born ‘Near America’

Reports: Hu Presents Obama With Counterfeit DVD

Reports: Fox News Reports No Link Between Matches, Gasoline and Fire

Reports: Steve Jobs Snoozes, Apple Loses: It’s Cause for Alarm

Reports: Blizzard a Case of God-Blocking, Robertson Says

Reports: Goldman’s Massive Bonuses ‘Totally Deserved,’ Says Satan

Reports: Assange to Launch Social Network for Diplomats: Twofacebook

Reports: In Latest Compromise, Obama Agrees He Is a Muslim

Reports: U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling Truth

Reports: 10 (Fake) Plagiarized Lines From Bush’s Book

Reports: Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Carnival Cruise Ships

Reports: Canada Reports Huge Jump in Immigration

Reports: Christine O’Donnell Favors Separation of Speech and Thought

Reports: Three Things to Do When Clarence Thomas’ Wife Calls You

Reports: Existence of Tea Party Candidates Casts Doubt on Evolution

Reports: Karzai to Take His Talents to Minneapolis

Reports: Delaware Masturbators March Against O’Donnell

Reports: Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate

Reports: Palin Says Refudiate Appears in Fictionary

Reports: Millions Watch Rich Guy Get New Job

Reports: Hawking: Aliens ‘No Longer Interested’ in Invading Earth

Reports: BP Develops Technology to Convert Lies Into Energy

Reports: Tiger: At Least I Didn’t Screw the Entire Gulf of Mexico

Reports: Experts Propose Plugging Oil Leak With BP Executives

Reports: China to Stop Spying on Its People, Will Use Facebook Instead

Reports: Citing Kagan’s Lack of Judging Experience, GOP Proposes Paula Abdul

Reports: Greece Offers to Repay Loans with Giant Horse

Reports: Somali Pirates Say They Are Subsidiary of Goldman Sachs

Reports: Goldman CEO to Perform Community Service as Treasury Secretary

Reports: Can’t Have a Decent Apocalypse Without a Full Cast

Reports: iPad™ Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Reports: Obama’s Obscure Pronunciation of ‘Nuclear’ Breaks With Tradition

Reports: Let’s Leave This Voting Thing to the Socialists, OK?

Reports: In Texas, History Isn’t What It Used to Be

Reports: Americans to Lose One Hour to Daylight Saving and the Rest to Facebook, Twitter

Reports: GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club

Reports: Toyota Chief Overshoots Congressional Hearings by 150 Miles

Reports: Scientists Study Memory Loss Among Politicians

Reports: New Worries for the Vacationer in Chief

Reports: Andy Borowitz: U.S. to Send One Troop to Iran

Reports: FEMA’s Got a Handle on Bird Flu ... if There’s a Stiff Breeze

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