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Andy Borowitz

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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is a political humorist, TV commentator, and the man behind the news parody website The Borowitz Report. Borowitz, a Cleveland native,...

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Stories by Andy Borowitz

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Fox News Reports No Link Between Matches, Gasoline and Fire

“Gasoline and matches don’t start fires,” said Fox host Glenn Beck. “People start fires.” Mr. Beck went on to say that there was no link between “oxygen, hydrogen and water.”

Posted on Jan 17, 2011 READ MORE


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Steve Jobs Snoozes, Apple Loses: It’s Cause for Alarm

Also in this edition of the Borowitz Report: Birthers Challenge Hawaii to Produce Statehood Certificate.

Posted on Jan 9, 2011 READ MORE


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Blizzard a Case of God-Blocking, Robertson Says

The Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in Sunday’s broadcast of his “700 Club” program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast “to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay.”

Posted on Jan 2, 2011 READ MORE


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Goldman’s Massive Bonuses ‘Totally Deserved,’ Says Satan

The gargantuan year-end bonuses paid out to Goldman Sachs executives have received howls of protests from the banking giant’s legion of critics, but not from its most ardent defender: Satan.

Posted on Dec 26, 2010 READ MORE


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Assange to Launch Social Network for Diplomats: Twofacebook

Julian Assange said he came up with the idea for the new site while combing through hundreds of thousands of pages of WikiLeaks documents: “I realized that diplomats didn’t have a way to reconnect with old colleagues so they could lie to them.”

Posted on Dec 19, 2010 READ MORE


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In Latest Compromise, Obama Agrees He Is a Muslim

In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Posted on Dec 13, 2010 READ MORE


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U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling Truth

In the first major policy fallout from the WikiLeaks disclosures, the State Department has ordered all U.S. diplomats to “cease and desist telling the truth until further notice.”

Posted on Dec 6, 2010 READ MORE


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Bio

Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is a political humorist, TV commentator, and the man behind the news parody website The Borowitz Report. Borowitz, a Cleveland native, created the smash TV comedy The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, appears on CNN’s American Morning and NPR’s Morning Edition and writes for The New Yorker and The New York Times. He has authored the books “The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers” and “The CEO’s Guide to Surviving Prison sent him on a moral and ethics speaking tour throughout the Ivy League business school circuit”. He has recently published two best-selling books: “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and “An Unexpected Twist.”

Bio   |   Books   |   Ear to the Ground   |   Columns