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October 8, 2015
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Andy Borowitz

Contributing Columnist

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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is a political humorist, TV commentator, and the man behind the news parody website The Borowitz Report. Borowitz, a Cleveland native,...


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Bio   |   Books   |   Ear to the Ground   |   Columns

Stories by Andy Borowitz

Report : Humor

In Latest Compromise, Obama Agrees He Is a Muslim

In his latest effort to find common ground with Republicans in Congress, President Barack Obama said today that he was willing to agree that he is a Muslim.

Posted on Dec 13, 2010 READ MORE

Report : Humor

U.S. Orders Diplomats to Stop Telling Truth

In the first major policy fallout from the WikiLeaks disclosures, the State Department has ordered all U.S. diplomats to “cease and desist telling the truth until further notice.”

Posted on Dec 6, 2010 READ MORE


10 (Fake) Plagiarized Lines From Bush’s Book

After it emerged that entire sections of George W. Bush’s new memoir, “Decision Points,” were plagiarized from books by former aides, The Borowitz Report asked our followers on Twitter to come up with the best plagiarized first line for the book.

Posted on Nov 21, 2010 READ MORE



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Report : Humor

Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Carnival Cruise Ships

In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing “unsafe working conditions.”

Posted on Nov 14, 2010 READ MORE

Report : Humor

Canada Reports Huge Jump in Immigration

Canadian immigration officials have reported a huge increase in the number of requests for Canadian citizenship in the past 24 hours, with more than 55 million such inquiries pouring in since late Tuesday night.

Posted on Nov 7, 2010 READ MORE

Report : Humor

Christine O’Donnell Favors Separation of Speech and Thought

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know if there’s anything about that in the Constitution,” she added. “In the version of the Constitution that I read, Big Bird didn’t mention it.”

Posted on Oct 31, 2010 READ MORE

Report : Humor

Three Things to Do When Clarence Thomas’ Wife Calls You

Like many Americans, over the past several years I have been the recipient of multiple unwelcome voice mails from the wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

Posted on Oct 24, 2010 READ MORE

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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz

Andy Borowitz is a political humorist, TV commentator, and the man behind the news parody website The Borowitz Report. Borowitz, a Cleveland native, created the smash TV comedy The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, appears on CNN’s American Morning and NPR’s Morning Edition and writes for The New Yorker and The New York Times. He has authored the books “The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers” and “The CEO’s Guide to Surviving Prison sent him on a moral and ethics speaking tour throughout the Ivy League business school circuit”. He has recently published two best-selling books: “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and “An Unexpected Twist.”

Bio   |   Books   |   Ear to the Ground   |   Columns