By Andy Borowitz
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin went on the attack today, claiming that Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has long-standing ties to The Weather Channel.
“What does it say about our opponent that he thinks this nation’s weather is so imperfect that he needs to be allied with The Weather Channel?” she asked a crowd in Tampa, Fla. “There’s a fine line between hating America’s weather and hating America herself.”
Gov. Palin said that she learned about Sen. Obama’s ties to The Weather Channel last week “when I was trying hard to read The New York Times.” “They said that Sen. Obama was hanging out with weathermen,” she said. “Do we really want to elect someone who has been palling around with meteorologists?”
The Alaska governor went on to attack weathermen themselves: “By saying that the planet is getting warmer, they are waving the white flag of surrender at the sun.”
Gov. Palin’s latest attacks came on the heels of a new poll showing that the only demographic group that still supports her is morons, sometimes referred to by political insiders as “no-information voters.”
“It may sound like she’s spouting idiocy, but there’s a method to her madness,” said Tracy Klugian, a Republican strategist. “She’s speaking to her base.”
In a survey of likely Palin voters, 62 percent said they “strongly disagreed” with the statement “One plus one equals two.”
Elsewhere, Sen. John McCain’s practice session for the next presidential debate was cut short when his pants burst into flames.
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.