By Andy Borowitz
Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., raised eyebrows in Iowa today when she refused to respond to a supermarket cashier’s question about her preference for paper or plastic bags, calling the inquiry “totally hypothetical.”
Clinton’s aversion to hypothetical questions has been a hallmark of her quest for the Democratic presidential nomination, but her refusal to answer the paper-or-plastic query during a campaign stop in Davenport, Iowa, took even some of her closest supporters aback.
The New York senator had stopped by a local supermarket for a photo opportunity, but her appearance ran off the rails when she was blindsided by the cashier’s unexpected question.
“This paper-or-plastic business is one of those ‘gotcha’ questions that I’m not going to get into,” Clinton said. “I don’t want to be in a situation where I’ve chosen one and that takes the other one totally off the table.”
Shunning both paper and plastic, Clinton left the store clutching an unwieldy assortment of groceries in her bare hands.
The paper-or-plastic controversy was the second bump in the road for Clinton today, coming just hours after a citizen who posed a question to her in a town hall meeting was revealed to be her husband, former President Bill Clinton, dressed as a woman.
President Clinton, wearing a blond wig and an Ann Taylor wrap dress, asked Mrs. Clinton, “Will your presidency continue the glorious legacy of my—I mean your husband’s—terms in office?”
Elsewhere, Chelsy Davy, Prince Harry’s girlfriend of three years, said she dumped the prince because “I got tired of explaining to friends why my boyfriend was always wearing a Nazi uniform.”
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2007 Creators Syndicate