By Andy Borowitz
Reacting to recent threats by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to inflict “harm and pain” on the United States in retaliation for clamping down on its nuclear program, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il today called Mr. Ahmadinejad “a total whack job.”
Kim’s comment about President Ahmadinejad surprised many in the international community, since it is highly unusual for one member of the Axis of Evil to criticize another in public.
But according to the North Korean dictator, “When Mahmoud shoots his mouth off like that he makes us all look like a bunch of nuts.”
“It’s the Axis of Evil,” Kim added, “not the Axis of Lunatics.”
Hours after Kim made his remarks, however, Osama bin Laden appeared in a new videotape to pooh-pooh any speculation about a rift between the North Korean madman and the Iranian madman.
Mr. bin Laden, who replaced Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein in the Axis of Evil when he was toppled in 2003, said that trash-talking between Mr. Kim and Mr. Ahmadinejad was “nothing out of the ordinary” for the two evildoers.
“That’s how they roll,” Mr. bin Laden said, adding that Axis of Evil meetings often descend into insults and “yo mama” jokes.
While the Al Qaeda terror mastermind said that his two colleagues were often exasperating, he said he has no plans to leave the Axis of Evil: “Someone around here has to be the voice of reason.”
Elsewhere, Vice President Dick Cheney made his case for warrantless wiretaps today, telling reporters, “Everything else we’ve done for the past five years has been completely unwarranted.”