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Bowl Phone Sex

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Posted on Jun 30, 2013
Illustration by Mr. Fish

By Chris Hedges

(Page 2)

“This one girl used to be loud, but I done used to let her talk for a long time,” Blount says. “She was a bowl ho ’cause she stayed up—I mean day and night—and be, ‘Hey, blah blah blah’ ’cause you be on, yeah, you be talkin’ to different people you a whore. You a ho, on the bowl.”

Pabey offers an example of jailhouse romance: “[Say] I’m datin’ Todd. We’re on the mic. I’m like, ‘Hey, baby, whatchu doin’,’ you know what I mean? ‘How was your day?’ Whatever. And then, without knowing, Todd gets released.”

Blount lets out a gasp of empathy.

“That hurts,” Blount says. “That can [be] heartbreaking. I seen a girl cry. She like, ‘I know he goin’ come to the window. They used to pray and stuff before they go to sleep. And he all of a sudden he got released. So she was at the window waiting for him to come by the window and say hi or whatever. She say, ‘I know my baby comin’ to the window.’ I know she came to the window looking for him. She be cryin’. I said, ‘You ain’t think that man really goin’ come to the window? He goin’ home.’ ”

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“Ah, he goin’ get him some pussy,” Pabey says. “ ’Scuse my language, but it’s the truth. He goin’ go get him some pootang.”

“He went out,” Blount says. “He was gone. You know what I’m sayin’? She was cryin’, her heart breaking. People get hurt. People fight.”

I ask what most of the prisoners like to talk about.

“Sex,” Pabey and Blount answer at once.

Most “bowl sex” takes place at night when, as Pabey says, “the freaks comes out.”

“Now, mind you, if it’s my aunt and her dude talkin’ on the bowl, you’ve got to let the other female know,” Pabey says. “Courtesy. So it’s you and your dude on his bowl, and he’s tellin’ his roommate, ‘Yo, you gotta go.’ You feel me? So you have to give that person courtesy. And, you get it in.”

“He be like, ‘Baby, how big is your boobs?’ ” Torrado says. “ ‘How big is your butt?’ ‘32.’ ‘Wow, baby. Keep telling, keep talkin’.”

“And they be like, ‘Baby,’ they be like, ‘Open up, baby, talk nasty to me,’ ” she says. “ ‘Baby, what do you want me to say?’ ‘Anything, baby, say anything, to—.’ ‘OK, baby, come here, baby. Let’s do this.’ ”

“Imagine me lickin’ on your … ,” Pabey offers.

“He be like, ‘Oh, baby, I’m startin’ feelin’ hot already down here, baby,’ ” Blount says.

“They be like, ‘Hold up, I’m about to bust a nut off-a this fool,’ ” Pabey says.

“I be on my bed readin’ a book,” Pabey adds.

“Me too!” Blount says. “I be laughin’.”

“And I’ll be like, ‘Yo, this bitch is crazy,’ ” Pabey says. “She’s like, ‘Baby, yeah, stroke it harder, stroke it harder. And I be like, ‘What the fuck?’And he’s like, ‘Baby, I’m about to bust. I’m about to come.’ ”

She mimics the moans of an orgasm.

“And I be like, ‘Ah, shit,’ ” she says. “And then we’ll bust out laughin’. ‘Oh, you’re two minute. Uhhh.’ She be like, ‘Leave my baby alone. Leave my boo alone.’ ”

“A girl could be sittin’ there talkin’ to a guy through the toilet bowl but still gettin’ her coochie licked by another girl,” Pabey throws in.

“I’ve seen like the guy tell the girl, ‘Oh, baby, climb on top of the bowl and smack your coochie,” Pabey says. “Literally sit there and be smackin’… so the guy can hear it.”

The only opportunity to see a bowl phone partner occurs when both put in requests to go to the medical department on the same day. Male and female inmates are not permitted to speak to each other there, but some bowl phone lovers manage to communicate through surreptitious hand signals in the medical waiting area.

The bowl phone is prohibited by the jail, but the punishment for those caught using it is mild, most often a one- or two-day loss of his or her hour of recreational time outside the cell.

“Whoopidee-freakin’-doo,” Pabey says. “You’re already locked down 23 [hours], and one so what the fuck? Like, ’scuse my language, but you can’t do shit. That’s the only excitement you get. You still be in the bowl, ‘Baaah. Oh well, you punish me for how long?’ ‘Two hours.’ ‘I’ll go on the bowl.’ ”

Arguments can be terminated with a flush.

“And they be stressin’, bangin’ the wall,” Torrado says in describing male partners’ reaction to a flush.

“Yeah, that’s the flush, that’s it,” Blount says.

“They be bangin’,” Pabey says as she knocks furiously on the table. “They’ll send another guy to another bowl and be like, ‘Yo, tell my fuckin’ girl that she better get on the phone!’ ”

She bangs again on the table.

“ ‘I want her right now,’ ” Torrado says. “And then you be in the bowl, ‘What, baby? Baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby. I’m sorry, baby.’ ”


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