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Kinky Friedman’s Ten Commandments

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Posted on Oct 30, 2007
Kinky Friedman
AP photo / Rick Vasquez

James Harris and Josh Scheer

(Page 2)

Harris: That’s a good point, but is it going to happen?  I think the most powerful point about your book is that it points out all the inconsistencies, the shortcomings of the process, of the politicians.  But, still, we sit here and there’s not a whole lot we can do.  Is it ...

Friedman: Well, we can—.

Harris: ... just an idea, or is there something, really, that we can get at?

Friedman: Well, we all look at the candidates that are running for president, and I don’t know about you guys, but I am not inspired by any of them.  There’s a couple of them that I like, but none of them inspire me. ...

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Harris: Fred Thompson does not inspire you.  Are you serious?

[Chuckles.]

Friedman: Who doesn’t?

Harris: Fred Thompson does not inspire you?

[Laughter.]

Friedman: Fred Thompson.  No, Fred doesn’t inspire me.  In the beginning Obama had a little bit of freshness and excitement, because he has, I think, less political experience than I do.  But by the time he’s through with the process, they’re going to burn him out.  He’s going to be a hack like the rest of them.  There’s just something about politics that drives the Karl Roves, that draws the worst kind of people to it.  When I said a musician can better run this place than a politician—boy, I’m telling you: the musicians I dealt with in the campaign—you know, Jimmy Buffett or Lyle Lovett or Willy Nelson—these are really good, decent people.  It’s hard to find a musician who isn’t creative and decent and honest, and you can’t find a politician like that.  There just isn’t one.  Maybe there is one somewhere.

Scheer: It was a good line, I think: “They would come in to work late, but they’d work late and be honest,” was the musicians, right?

Friedman: Yes, yes, the musicians.  We wouldn’t get much done in the morning, but we’d work late and we’d be honest.

Scheer: I want to ask you something because my co-host here spends some time in Georgia and I know you had the chapter, “What Has Six Balls and Screws Texans?” about the lottery and all that, and you talk about Georgia, how, if a student has a B average the lottery gives them a full, free ride to college.  I was very interested in how that might work for the whole country.  Can you explain a little bit about that, how Texas—.

Friedman: I was just in Atlanta for this book festival last month, and I asked the people, I said, “Look, is this really true that your lottery can provide a four-year free scholarship for all those kids to a state university here?”  And they said, “Absolutely.  We’ve been doing it for a while.  And what it does,” they explained, “this cuts the brain drain.  The smart kids will stay in Georgia now because you would with a free four-year scholarship.”  You’ve got to think about the Texas lottery.  It’s got to be a hell of a lot more than Georgia’s, but we don’t know what happened to all our money here.  All the politicians will say is that it went into the general fund.  Well, the biggest crisis we have in America today is we don’t trust the government, with very good reason.  Stupid ideas that they have about immigration, just insane.  I’m trying to figure Newt Gingrich’s idea—that was the best one I heard—which was to Fedex all the illegals, send them Fedex packages and track them so we can find them.  At least I trust Fedex to do something right, you know?  I do not trust our government to try to find illegals and send them back home and get them certified and bring them—.  We couldn’t even evacuate New Orleans.

[Chuckles.]

Harris: Kinky, you talk about the general fund.  The general fund is a lot like the building fund at some churches.  They’ve had them for years, then they change the doorknob on the church and you know where that money goes. 

A question for you, Kinky.  I benefited from the Hope Scholarship.  I went and I had my 3.0 and it was free, and my dad said, “Don’t every use it, boy, or I will hurt you.”  And I kept it and it worked out.  But why don’t more states know about this.  Why aren’t more governors on the track with this?  Why is this a big secret and why such an impossible thing?  Honestly.

Friedman: One of the reasons is that the media is complicit in this.  The media is lazy as hell.  The media spent—.  I can’t tell you how much time spent trying to see if I said the N-word 27 years ago on a stage.  And, also, did I drink a Guinness from a moving vehicle during the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Dallas.  That was called “Guinness-gate.”

[Laughter.]

Friedman: And they did get a picture of me, drinking and I wasn’t driving the car.  So I said later that I admitted that I did drink the Guinness but I did not swallow.

[Laughter.]


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By Ruby McKenzie, April 16, 2008 at 11:23 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I love Kinky Friedman!  A brilliant, witty, clever and entertaining man.

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By Dr Wu--the last of the big-time thinkers, November 17, 2007 at 3:50 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky slept in the Clinton White House;he slept in the Bush White House. Sadly, he sleeps around.

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By pro choice lib, November 15, 2007 at 5:09 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky ran because he got loads of money from the Bass family.  Do you really think the Bass family want Kinky as governor?

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By Kim Loughran, November 14, 2007 at 3:05 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky advocates mandatory voting as practised in Australia. Sure, it spreads the responsibility. But his claim that this has ‘really decimated political corruption’ indicates that Kinky a) has never been in Australia, b) has never read anything about Australian politics, and c) is just another politician betting that nobody can check his statements. Politics in Australia is rife with corruption, back-stabbing, factionalism, media-pandering, vilification and fear-mongering. Don’t give up your daytime song-writing job, Kinky.

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By Not Tellin You, November 7, 2007 at 12:10 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

NO TEN COMMANDMENT ON THIS $!&%*£” page!!

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By mike beuershausen, November 5, 2007 at 5:36 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

No, the Republican Party can’t be defeated in Texas as long as jerks like Friedman run as independents to break up the anti-GOP vote. The only way Perry could have won last November is if the vote was split several ways. My only question is: How much did Friedman take from corporate interests to get in and stay in the race? Five million (or more) is a drop in the bucket to the corporate interests that own Perry. Friedman—an overrated asshole if there ever was one—sold out the public, no doubt about it. Period.

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By nils cognizant, November 4, 2007 at 10:59 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Australia as example of highminded government? Man, you just lost your library privileges, Kinky.  John Howard, running Australia for maybe 10 years now as his personal feifdom, is a prime example of what is wrong in many Western governments. One of his early actions as monarch was to strip Australians of their right to own firearms. This hardy race, and their protectors, the police, all bent over like bisexual sheep and allowed their weapons to be rounded up by Howard’s henchmen. This same worthy (Howard) subscribes to the goofy notion propounded for two centuries by Britain and the USA that pounding small, helpless countries into submission is a practice to be honed and encouraged. The fact that this amounts to crass moral cowardice seems to have escaped the consciousness of Aussie(etc) citizens and their military leadership. Finally, this bag of assholes, the Australian government, pushed New Zealand to retract its longtime firm policy of not allowing nuclear weapons to be carried by ships or aircraft within its territorial boundaries. In effect, trashing principles it had held dear and which had been destined to encourage civil thought.

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By Bill Blackolive, November 4, 2007 at 11:03 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky, half the people in the US do not vote and I bet it is more than half in Austin among educated types.  Your large error was saying W is sincere because he is good to his dog.  And 9/11 is inside so what do you think you want to do, anyway.

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By Bill Blackolive, November 4, 2007 at 10:31 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky, I know people who know you, and I can tell you your mistake was saying W. is a sincere person because he is good to his dog.  Hey, take some acid and get clear.  Half the people over here - this land of barbarians - do not vote because of the dumb shit.  Goddamnit, besides 9/ll is plainly (W. plainly a liar and person you would avoid on the street) inside.

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By Bill Blackolive, November 4, 2007 at 10:15 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Kinky, I read a book among your fiction, enjoyed it briefly ok, knowing people who know you.  Generally you are real enough but I will now tell you the one large mistake you have made was saying W. is a sincere person because he is kind to his dog.

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By HonestAbe, November 2, 2007 at 8:10 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Now I know why Kinky wears a cowboy hat!

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By PaulMagillSmith, October 31, 2007 at 2:08 pm Link to this comment

Despite appearing to be an insider it’s obvious Kinky has learned to think outside the box.

I especially aprove of his approval of making voting mandatory (with a paper trail of course).

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