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World Shocked That Wolfowitz Has Girlfriend

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Posted on Apr 20, 2007

By Andy Borowitz

Amid the controversy swirling about World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz, millions of people today reacted with shock to what is universally considered the most improbable aspect of the story: that Paul Wolfowitz could have a girlfriend.

All over the world, from Wall Street to Main Street, reactions to the news about Mr. Wolfowitz ranged from “Who would date Wolfowitz?” to “Wolfowitz has a girlfriend? You have got to be kidding me.”

At the World Bank, work ground to a halt as colleagues of the organization’s controversial president staggered about in disbelief, searching for theories to explain such an impenetrable mystery.

“I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would go out with the Wolf-man,” said one World Bank employee on condition of anonymity. “He may be the second-least sexy man to come out of the Bush administration—right after Karl Rove.”

Another World Bank employee, who admitted that he was “dumbfounded” by the news about Mr. Wolfowitz, offered one possible explanation: “Maybe she figured that because he’s president of the World Bank, he’ll always pick up the check.”

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The University of Minnesota’s Davis Logsdon, who studies the dating habits of World Bank presidents, says that the world “shouldn’t be surprised” by Mr. Wolfowitz’s apparent “magic touch” with the ladies.

“Convincing someone to go out with him is no big deal for a man like Paul Wolfowitz,” Mr. Logsdon said. “Remember, this is the same guy who convinced President Bush to invade Iraq.”

Elsewhere, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he has “nothing to hide,” according to an exclusive interview published today in Yeah, Right magazine.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2007 Creators Syndicate


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By Fangdango, May 1, 2007 at 10:24 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I was surprised too that Wolfie had a girlfriend, until I saw her picture.  She’s as ugly as he is.

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By TruthFan, April 25, 2007 at 3:21 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Ha, ha!  Maybe she likes the way he licks his comb!  Who can resist his saliva slicked down coif?  Oh, Wolfie!

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By JNagarya, April 24, 2007 at 7:43 pm Link to this comment

#66045 by kevin99999 on 4/24 at 2:32 pm
(Unregistered commenter)

“I am not a supporter of Wolfwitz and personally think that he should go to jail for committing crimes against humanity…..but this is a cheap shot.”

I agree.  “God” forbid he be exposed yet again as a criminal and hypocrite, and that this incident further illuminates and keeps before the public in the present the Bush gang for what it is.

Bush has himself spoken in support not only of war criminal Gonzales, but also of war criminal Wolfowitz in this instance—reminding us all that it leads back yet again to the Bush gang.

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By ALEX PAVCHINSKI, April 24, 2007 at 10:49 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I thought one of the goals of the World Bank was to help address the world’s hunger problem. That $60000 raise Mr. Woe fowitz gave his girlfriend(the price for a girlfriend) could sure feed a lot of hungry children!

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By kevin99999, April 24, 2007 at 9:02 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I am not a supporter of Wolfwitz and personally think that he should go to jail for committing crimes against humanity…..but this is a cheap shot.

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By JNagarya, April 23, 2007 at 8:09 pm Link to this comment

#65740 by Hugh E. Scott on 4/22 at 4:49 pm
(Unregistered commenter)

“Also, Bob, would you please ask the TruthDig website manager to stack comments so the first one posted is at the TOP, not the bottom.  Thanks.”

Seconded!  (Irony noted, but not consciously intended.)

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By RobertBennett, April 23, 2007 at 2:36 pm Link to this comment

JNagarya wrote:

“It appears you may know the difference between Blue Meanies, on one hand, and on the other, Music.”

After a short burst of intense googling, I now know enough to take this as a compliment. lol

I was hoping to find lots of Music here at Truthdig, but (you and Douglas excepted), I’ve run into hoards of Blue Meanies.  lol

Thank you.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL
http://thespiritandthestone.squarespace.com/

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By RobertBennett, April 23, 2007 at 1:59 pm Link to this comment

Iran would be crazy to disarm while the Insane American Conservatives are threatening them.

The video clip, posted by Douglas Chalmer below, is a rare, and remarkable attempt to see things from their perspective.

Hey, Douglas, are you an American?

Peace,
Bob

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By Valley, April 23, 2007 at 11:50 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This is prostitution at the highest level. Anybody can have a girlfriend if you pay them. He had a responsibility as a leader, and he shows that at his core he was as corrupt as anyone. In the issues of global poverty we need upstanding leaders that show more fortitude.

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 22, 2007 at 8:23 pm Link to this comment

RobertBennett on 4/21 at 4:49 pm - “...Iran is reaching our for peace!  This could be a real pathway to peace in the Middle East….”

Ask and you shall receive, ha ha:-

“LONDON, April 23 (Reuters) - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice urged Iran to take part in a meeting on Iraq next month, telling the Financial Times it would be a “missed opportunity” if Tehran failed to attend.

In an interview published in Monday’s edition of the newspaper, Rice also denied the Iran policy of President George W. Bush’s administration had been directed at “regime change”......’

Isn’t she so wonderful at denying things?!?!  See http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L22309137.htm

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By Hugh E. Scott, April 22, 2007 at 5:49 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Last week, the Los Angeles Times reported that the Pentagon, under the direction of arch neoconservative Doug Feith, got Shaha Riza a job with DOD subcontractor “Science Applications International Corp” (SAIC). 

Back then, like now, she was the mistress of Paul Wolfowitz who, at the time, served as DOD Under-Secretary before joining Riza at the World Bank. 

And what is Science Applications International Corp?

From SourceWatch: SAIC was founded in 1969 as a “scientific consulting firm with a handful of government contracts for nuclear power and nuclear weapons effects study programs.”

Over the years, the company expanded into national and homeland security programs, non-nuclear energy studies, health care systems, environment-related businesses, information technologies, high-technology products, telecommunications, transportation and eSolutions services and products for commercial and government customers.

In 1990, SAIC was indicted and pled guilty to 10 felony counts of fraud on a Superfund site, called “one of the largest (cases) of environmental fraud in Los Angeles history.” In 2006, SAIC had some 44,000 employees and took in $8 billion.

Reported Vanity Fair in March 2007, SAIC is “larger than the departments of Labor, Energy, and Housing and Urban Development combined.  SAIC’s largest customer by far is the U.S. government, which accounts for 69 percent of its business,”

Vanity Fair also said that SAIC executives have been involved at every stage of the Iraq war—from pushing WMD claims to helping “investigate how American intelligence could have been so disastrously wrong.”

“Under yet another no-bid contract,” reported Vanity, “SAIC created the Iraqi Media Network, supposedly a free and independent indigenous media network that quickly became a mouthpiece for the Pentagon.  Eventually, the network was turned over to Iraqi control.  Today it is a tool of Iraq’s Shiite majority and spews out virulently anti-American messages.  Moreover, SAIC’s work on the Iraqi Media Network was criticized by the Pentagon’s Inspector General as having ‘widespread violations of normal contracting procedures.’”

I could rant forever about SAIC and their treasonous neocon associates, but here are two tidbits worth closing my TruthDig comment with : (1) David Kay, the former UN weapons inspector hired by the CIA in June 2003 to to track down Iraqi WMDs, works for SAIC and (2) Robert Gates is a former board member.


SPECIAL QUESTION for Robert Scheer:  Did you check out my Boston Globe bogus Bush bio story (02/28/04)—like we talked about after at your speech in March at Oak Park, CA?

Also, Bob, would you please ask the TruthDig website manager to stack comments so the first one posted is at the TOP, not the bottom.  Thanks.

Hugh E. Scott, editor of King-George.biz—the only website with hardcopy proof of White House corruption (Bush’s bogus bio).

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By Hugh E. Scott, April 22, 2007 at 5:38 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Any guy who spits on his hands like Wolfowitz did on TV, then uses the saliva to comb his hair, could have any women he wants – as long as she is dumber than Dub-ya.

SPECIAL QUESTION for Robert Scheer:  Did you check my Boston Globe bogus Bush bio story (02/28/04)—like we talked about after at your speech in March at Oak Park, CA?

Also, Bob, would you please ask the TruthDig website manager to stack comments so the FIRST ones posted stay at the TOP, not the bottom.  Thanks.

Hugh E. Scott, editor of King-George.biz—the only website with hardcopy proof of White House corruption (Bush’s bogus bio).

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By JNagarya, April 21, 2007 at 9:20 pm Link to this comment

#65496 by RobertBennett on 4/21 at 9:53 am
(24 comments total)

Fadel Abdallah wrote:

“Are you per chance a fanatic Zionist or a Zionist neocon lover to get offended at evil, ugly, morally corrupt, warmonger Zionist Wolfowitz being deservedly satirized?”

I would submit that your reaction was far more ‘kneejerk’ than mine.

I am a progressive, who is dismayed that Progressives are using the same tactics as Conservatives.

Conservatism is the politics of Fear.  They want to destroy anything that even slight threatens them.  They have lost touch with the fact that the message of Jesus was only The Power of Love.

I was hoping Progressives would be different.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL

P.S.  Despite my disagreement with you, I sincerely appreciate your reply.  Thanks.

It appears you may know the difference between Blue Meanies, on one hand, and on the other, Music.

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 21, 2007 at 7:52 pm Link to this comment

RobertBennett : “...Uh oh…I don’t know very much about Ms. Rice…”

Its the Darth Vader hairstyle - goes really well with “The Empire Strikes Back” theme, you know! http://draftcondi.org/

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 21, 2007 at 6:50 pm Link to this comment

“When do we send an airmail message to Teheran…?”

Oh, really - they’ve just learnt to pronounce the name but they still couldn’t find it on a map!

Reagan once came up with “We’re going to start bombing Russia in the next five minutes”. So chilling but he thought it was a joke!

Since Clinton(Bill), the USA has been bombing everywhere beginning with “B” from Belgrade to Baghdad. Now, they want to move on to the letter “T”?

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 6:30 pm Link to this comment

Uh oh.

I don’t know very much about Ms. Rice.  I’ve concentrated mostly on News from non-American perspectives, and it’s been a real eye-opener!

The BBC is my mainstay, even though it’s far from perfect.

I used to watch CNN, but I got tired of the fear mongering and all the popups.  I get multiple popup attempts every time I visit CNN.com, and sometimes they manage to get through my popup blocker.

They made over 250 millions dollars last year.  They will say anything to get ratings.  I wish people would stop referring to them as having a progressive bias.  It’s embarrassing.

They are all about the money - just like conservatives.

Peace,
Bob

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 21, 2007 at 6:06 pm Link to this comment

I’m not assuming you agree with me on all my points, but thank you so much for posting ....Peace, Bob….

Oh, I’m sure Condoleeza Rice will soon sort it all out!?!?

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 5:49 pm Link to this comment

Douglas,

Are we the only two people on TruthDig who understand this?

Iran is reaching our for peace!  This could be a real pathway to peace in the Middle East.

This is very frustrating.

I’m not assuming you agree with me on all my points, but thank you so much for posting.

Peace,
Bob

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 21, 2007 at 5:15 pm Link to this comment

The difference between Nuclear weapons -
British comedian Rory Bermner’s sketch showing the complete hypocrisy of nations who claim the moral high ground when it comes to nuclear weapons…....

http://www.iranian.com/Clips/2007/April/bomb.html

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 4:38 pm Link to this comment

Uh oh.

I didn’t think about where I was.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/6526981.stm

This is the Gift to Britain.

I just did a search on Truthdig for “Gift to Britain” and came up empty.

You may not have heard about it here.

I get most of my news from the BBC.

Peace,
Bob

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 4:31 pm Link to this comment

In case we didn’t get the message.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6560429.stm

Does this sound like foaming at the mouth terrorists who want to destroy us at any cost?

Remember the Shaw?  Remember the CIA support of his torture squads?

They have very good reasons to fear us, and they are making gestures of peace.

Iranian Muslims don’t celebrate Easter, but at least lately, they seem to be doing a much better job of getting it’s message.

Their “Gift to Britain” was a Gift of Forgiveness.

We are fools for not seeing it.

Peace,
Bob

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By 127001, April 21, 2007 at 3:49 pm Link to this comment

Will someone (other than Truthdig) please tell me if Robert Bennett is for real.

I mean, huh????

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By Jojam Franc, April 21, 2007 at 2:11 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

If he can get me a paycheck for $193,000 odd dollars, I’ll screw for him, too!

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 1:40 pm Link to this comment

Douglas Chalmers,

Woohoo!

I’m not the only one who isn’t crazy! lol

I cannot tell you how your post warms my Heart!

Good News!!!!!

This is how you defeat Conservatism.  Conservatives get their power from instilling their Fear into others.  Progressives need to show America, and the world, why we don’t have to be afraid.

Love,
Bob

P.S.  In an unconnected incident, one Truthdig commenter warned me about John McCain. After taking a look,  I’ve decided the Good Senator is completely Nuts.

Thanks!

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By Douglas Chalmers, April 21, 2007 at 1:05 pm Link to this comment

RobertBennett: “...I have become convinced Iran wants Peace ....They released Christian Spies in time for Easter…....

Islamic Fundamentalist Iran releases British Christian Spies in time for the Holiest time of year for Christians, and declares them a “Gift for Britain”....”

Video - Iran: Another perspective -  http://www.iranian.com/Clips/2007/February/iran.html
“These days everything you hear about Iran on the news is bad. Many people have a very negative image of Iran by now. Given these dangerous times we live in, and the possibility of a war with Iran, I decided to make this video to show the world this beautiful country .......Please, help spread the word….”—Sina Ferdosi - also see http://www.iranian.com/clips.html

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 12:15 pm Link to this comment

I would love to see an in depth and comprehensive Truthdig article on the amazing changes taking place in Iran.

I have become convinced Iran wants Peace.

They released Christian Spies in time for Easter.

Islamic Fundamentalist Iran releases British Christian Spies in time for the Holiest time of year for Christians, and declares them a “Gift for Britain”.

This is profound.

I understand it’s necessary to point out problems in the World, but that doesn’t mean we have to ignore Rays of Hope.  In fact, Rays of Hope should dominate the Headlines.

I believe Iran is continuing its nuclear program so that they will have something to trade.

They are speaking softly and carrying a Big Stick.

But praising Iran would mean the writers here at Truthdig wouldn’t be able to use their considerable skills at adolescent sarcasm, so it isn’t likely to happen.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL

P.S. If you’re really interested in ending the Iraq War, here’s how:


Over 2,000,000 Iraqis have fled their country.  The UN refugee agency says the situation is becoming ” a humanitarian disaster”.

The War is intensifying; children are being used as weapons.

Jimmy Carter has had tremendous success both in providing humanitarian relief and ‘waging’ peace.

He is the most qualified person on earth to deal with the mess we’ve made.


“I thought then, and I think now, that the invasion of Iraq was unnecessary and unjust. And I think the premises on which it was launched were false.”
          -  President Jimmy Carter

You may not want him for president, but he would be perfect for War Czar or Execution Manager, or whatever they will be calling it tomorrow.

For references follow the link and click on ‘Why?’
http://www.JimmyCarterForPresident.com

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 10:53 am Link to this comment

Fadel Abdallah wrote:

“Are you per chance a fanatic Zionist or a Zionist neocon lover to get offended at evil, ugly, morally corrupt, warmonger Zionist Wolfowitz being deservedly satirized?”

I would submit that your reaction was far more ‘kneejerk’ than mine.

I am a progressive, who is dismayed that Progressives are using the same tactics as Conservatives.

Conservatism is the politics of Fear.  They want to destroy anything that even slight threatens them.  They have lost touch with the fact that the message of Jesus was only The Power of Love.

I was hoping Progressives would be different.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL

P.S.  Despite my disagreement with you, I sincerely appreciate your reply.  Thanks.

Report this

By JNagarya, April 21, 2007 at 10:48 am Link to this comment

#65466 by RobertBennett on 4/21 at 6:50 am
(16 comments total)

“Good News for Truthdig Editors!

“After reading the Moronic “It’s the Guns, Stupid”, and now this adolescent babble, I will no longer be pestering Truthdig about publishing any of my work.”

If the above are examples, I think we can be certain your “work” was not in the form of thoughtful critical evaluations of other’s writings, or even their views.  More likely they are of the profoundest form of superficiality, written with the ease that is the attribution of labels.

“I realize this won’t bother them one bit, but it does bother me.  I had hoped I’d found a place for calm, rational, and caring people to express their views.”

So you could learn by example how to be that?  Did you not find at least calm and rational the substantiations, written by its Framers, of the fact that the Second Amendment has nothing whatever to do with “individual” anything? 

Is there nothing at all caring, in your view, for the general public, and the world at large, in being alerted to and warned about Mr. Wolfowitz’s obvious and indefensible moral bankruptcy and the corruption he spreads like a disease wherever he goes?

“I was wrong.”

And remain so.

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By GW=MCHammered, April 21, 2007 at 10:29 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Wolf-o-witz-end Headlines:

Wolfowitz Baghdads World Bank!
Wolfowitz Banned from Every Bush!
Wolfowitz: “By WMDs, I May Have Meant…???”
W Must Draft
W’s Mashriq Disease
World’s Money Decimated
Wolfman Masterminds Disaster
“possibly even, er, uh…”
War Machine Defeated
Wolfie Militarizes Dubya
W’s Maladroit Dumbassness
Weapons of Moneyed Drunkeness
 
By Rove, I Think He’s Got It!

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By QuyTran, April 21, 2007 at 10:28 am Link to this comment

Why doesn’t Wolf have girlfriend ? He also has wife !
Who would date Wolf ? No big deal if he has lot of monies. Even Kissinger still could have “girlfriend” or wife like Nancy Kissinger besides “young boys” !
Animal’s always attract to its race ! No surprise at all !

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By Aaron, April 21, 2007 at 9:56 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Who cares? Lot’s of men have girlfriends, and they don’t look like a trillion bucks. This isn’t informative or useful to anyone in any way. This article is just tabloid sensationalism.

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By Fadel Abdallah, April 21, 2007 at 9:36 am Link to this comment

#65466 by RobertBennett on 4/21 at 6:50 am
(12 comments total)

Good News for Truthdig Editors!

After reading the Moronic “It’s the Guns, Stupid”, and now this adolescent babble, I will no longer be pestering Truthdig about publishing any of my work.

I realize this won’t bother them one bit, but it does bother me.  I had hoped I’d found a place for calm, rational, and caring people to express their views.

I was wrong.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL
==========================
God riddance Mr. Bob Bennet!

Obviously, you’re the exact opposite of what you would like to describe yourself as the “calm, rational, and caring…”

Are you per chance a fanatic Zionist or a Zionist neocon lover to get offended at evil, ugly, morally corrupt, warmonger Zionist Wolfowitz being deservedly satirized? Or are you per chance one of those violent gun lovers to get offended by some one reminding us that “It’s Guns, Stupid.” If you don’t understand that people with guns kill, then you must be the most irrational person in the whole world!

Good riddance again and rest assured that you will never be missed nor what you think is “your work”! I am sure you’re one of those who have never been published anywhere except at Truthdig. But because you are rationally imbalanced, it really got to your head that you must be some kind of intellectual whose contributions are important for humanity!

Though I am almost sure that you will come back, if only to post a knee-jerk reaction to my post, I am praying that I never see your name again.

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By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 7:50 am Link to this comment

Good News for Truthdig Editors!

After reading the Moronic “It’s the Guns, Stupid”, and now this adolescent babble, I will no longer be pestering Truthdig about publishing any of my work.

I realize this won’t bother them one bit, but it does bother me.  I had hoped I’d found a place for calm, rational, and caring people to express their views.

I was wrong.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, AL

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By JNagarya, April 21, 2007 at 7:42 am Link to this comment

#65434 by John F. Butterfield on 4/21 at 1:42 am
(5 comments total)

Henry Kissinger was a hit with the girls. Go figure!

He said that power is an aphrodisiac.  Considering, it could only be that it was put to use as S&M.

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By schlimmerkerl, April 21, 2007 at 7:18 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This guy breathes new life and hope into antisemitism. He could be the cover-boy on “Der Stürmer”.

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By DSmith, April 21, 2007 at 6:21 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Hitler had Eva Braun. Bush has Laura and Wolfowitz has Riza. Some women can overlook the bloodthirsty behavior of their men, who send others to die in fabricated wars, as long as they live in posh surroundings.

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By Tom Doff, April 21, 2007 at 5:57 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

My oh my, Wolfie sure fooled you all.

His ‘girlfriend’ was not his girlfriend, she was his ‘beard’, a diversion to hide his true affair.

Wolfie is in love with…...............himself! But he calculated that that ‘might’ look self-centered, so he created the impression that he was interested in a woman, and she in him.

But because he is who he is (and isn’t), the price for a beard is high, way high, $200K/year. But not to worry, true to his heritage, Wolfie arranged to pay the heavy price, not out of his pocket, but with OPM (Other Peoples’s Money).

There are many improbables in this affair, but the most delightful is that Wolfie not only loves himself, but f**ked himself.

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By jatihoon, April 21, 2007 at 5:28 am Link to this comment

Give credit to him, he may have failed with Iraq policy, but he never gave up to bring peace between jews and muslims, what better example he can set. Ha…Ha and ha.Bravo Bravo, that he cried all honors to those who tried.

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By John F. Butterfield, April 21, 2007 at 2:42 am Link to this comment

Henry Kissinger was a hit with the girls. Go figure!

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By boggs, April 20, 2007 at 11:15 pm Link to this comment

It sounds to me like maybe he payed a premium price for his girlfriend. That explains what she was getting from the relationship!

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