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Weeper of the House

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Posted on Dec 15, 2010

By Ruth Marcus

The speaker got weepy.

No, not her—him. The incoming House speaker, Ohio Republican John Boehner, turns out to be a veritable waterworks of emotion. First in the midst of his victory speech on election night, then, more extensively, in his interview last weekend with “60 Minutes.”

Boehner choked up about “chasing the American dream.” He choked up about his wife’s pride in his impending speakership. He choked up about choking up.

“No, no, my nose is running,” Boehner insisted unconvincingly as he reached for a hankie. He is so prone to tears, Boehner acknowledged, lip quivering, that “I can’t go to a school anymore. ... You see all these little kids running around. Can’t talk about it.” And, literally, he couldn’t.

It would be easy, from my political perspective, to get all snarky now—you know, he tears up about the American dream and then votes against unemployment benefits, sobs over children and then slashes school spending.

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Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going there. I’ve got a soft spot for weepers.

Indeed, as my often-mortified family can attest, I am a fellow chronic crier. So I’d like to celebrate the lachrymose speaker-to-be and hope that he helps make the world safe for public crying. We who are ductally impaired may be the last remaining minority that it is socially acceptable to mock. You could hear the note of disdain in Lesley Stahl’s voice as she asked Boehner about his jags.

“What set you off that time?” she asked Boehner. “He cries all the time?” she asked Boehner’s wife, in the kindly tone of the family doctor concerned that one of the kids might be a tad slow.

Boehner purported not to be embarrassed by his blubbering, although it wasn’t completely convincing—see runny nose excuse above. “I know who I am,” he told Stahl. “I’m comfortable in my own skin, and everybody who knows me knows that I get emotional about certain things.”

And this gets to my second point: the paradox of public crying. As a general matter, it is considered more acceptable for girls to cry than for boys, less humiliating for women than for men. Think about the sympathetic reaction to Martha-Ann Alito after she fled crying from the Senate Judiciary Committee during her husband’s Supreme Court confirmation hearings.

For public figures, though, the situation is reversed. These days, male politicians enjoy the freedom to weep—a bit, anyway. The time when Edmund Muskie’s presidential campaign could be torpedoed by a few tears—or, perhaps, melting snowflakes—is long past. Tears are humanizing. I defy you to watch Boehner struggling to hold in his sobs and not like him better for it. If anything, Barack Obama could benefit from a bit more crying.

Female politicians, by contrast, still have to hold it in—Hillary Clinton’s misty moment in New Hampshire notwithstanding.  That was the exception that proved the rule: Few doubted Clinton’s toughness and the crying served to soften her image.

But other female politicians spanning the spectrum from Nancy Pelosi to Sarah Palin understand that it’s treacherous to show any weakness or vulnerability. Big Girl politicians don’t cry. They feel the need to—and this is my least favorite modern phrase—man up.

Consider how Pelosi brought down the gavel on Boehner’s tears. “You know what? He is known to cry,” she said after Boehner’s election night episode. “He cries sometimes when we’re having a debate on bills. If I cry, it’s about the personal loss of a friend or something like that. But when it comes to politics—no, I don’t cry.”

Palin, likewise, doesn’t cry. Watch her club the halibut or shoot the caribou. I flipped channels after Boehner’s blubbering and watched Palin blast Kate Gosselin for getting all sniffly about the rigors of camping in the Alaska cold. 

So I thought the ladies of “The View” had it wrong—and did women a disservice when they lit into Boehner. They should have celebrated his tearfulness and argued for gender equity in crying. 

“Weeper of the House,” sniffed Joy Behar.

“This guy has an emotional problem,” said host Barbara Walters, she of the more-tears-the-better celebrity interview. “Every time he talks about anything that’s not ‘raise taxes,’ he cries.”

Barbara, you of all people should know better. Mr. Speaker, I’m with you. Have a hankie.

Ruth Marcus’ e-mail address is marcusr(at symbol)washpost.com.

© 2010, Washington Post Writers Group


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By rollzone, December 19, 2010 at 8:50 pm Link to this comment

hello. please buy my weeper of the house facial
tissues. they are lubricated for the Bohner in your
life.

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PatrickHenry's avatar

By PatrickHenry, December 19, 2010 at 11:01 am Link to this comment

Ohio must be some kind of ying-yang place.  They elect Kucinich and this POS.

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By G.Anderson, December 19, 2010 at 9:46 am Link to this comment

Well said Garth….

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By Candice Cameron, December 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Unless it’s about a personal loss or illness, a crying man is usually a lying man.

CC

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By garth, December 18, 2010 at 11:08 am Link to this comment

Tp paraphrase my mother, “We should give him something to really cry about.”

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By Inherit The Wind, December 18, 2010 at 9:23 am Link to this comment

Tighten your belts, and keep your anti-nausea medicine close—this is what we face for at least 2 years.  I think it’s less of a man-woman double standard and more of GOP/Dem double standard.  A Dem is only allowed to weep in public if they lose a spouse or a child—maybe a parent, but that’s iffy.  Meanwhile the Boner can weep at the thought of anything, especially his relief that taxes are going up for him and is fellow wealthiest Americans.

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By ocjim, December 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm Link to this comment

Dowd, the NY Times Oped writer, had the best explanation: deep down he knows he is a hypocrite and cries when somewhat reminded of his Scooge-like role, such as seeing kids at school his votes directly harm.

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By garth, December 16, 2010 at 12:01 pm Link to this comment

markpkessinger, December 16 at 4:41 am Link to this comment

“Sentimentality, the ostentatious parading of excessive and spurious emotion, is the mark of dishonesty, the inability to feel; the wet eyes of the sentimentalist betray his aversion to experience, his fear of life, his arid heart; and it is always, therefore, the signal of secret and violent inhumanity, the mask of cruelty.”

————————————————

Thank you.  It reminded me of the part of 60 Mitutes story that said Boehner’s wife stays in Ohio.  She does not go with him to Washington when Congress is in session.

She seems like a shrewd woman.  Boehner is most likely a ‘street angel’ and a ‘house devil.’  I’ll bet he’s impossible to live with espcially when he comes home shitfaced or when he’s trying white-knucle sobriety.


No one likes a cry-baby drunk not even other cry-baby drunks.  It detracts from their own center-stage close-up.

Why do voters of his district in Ohio put up with him?

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By markpkessinger, December 15, 2010 at 11:41 pm Link to this comment

There is a world of difference between authentic, appropriate emotional expression and cheap, inappropriate emotionalism. It was the latter that was on display in Boehner’s 60 Minutes interview. Author James Baldwin, in his essay titled, “Everybody’s Protest Novel” (from “Notes of a Native Son”) said it best:

“Sentimentality, the ostentatious parading of excessive and spurious emotion, is the mark of dishonesty, the inability to feel; the wet eyes of the sentimentalist betray his aversion to experience, his fear of life, his arid heart; and it is always, therefore, the signal of secret and violent inhumanity, the mask of cruelty.”

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By felicity, December 15, 2010 at 4:34 pm Link to this comment

Narcissists are weepers.  Feeling sorry for one’s self
is sure to bring on the tears and narcissists are all
about themselves.  Unfortunately, for the rest of us in
the case of Mr. Boehner, narcissists are devoid of
empathy.  They view people, places and things in terms
of how that person, place of thing benefits or
diminishes them.

Mr. Cheney is another weeper - in case any further
proof of the relationship between narcissism and the
absence of empathy is needed.

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By garth, December 15, 2010 at 3:15 pm Link to this comment

who’syourdebs,

I appreciate your picture of Eugene Debs campaigning.  As Ralph Nader said, “Vote your conscience.”

It might seem futile in the near term, but if enough voters vote their consciences, in the long term someone will notice, and the schmock-schmock (a Steve Allen nonsense neologism) on talk nooz TV about the US being a right-center nation will have to be re-edited.

I saw a Jokester today on C-SPAN, a Republican named Coffman who was re-elected to Congress from Colorado.  His second term.

Talk about ‘dreamy faces’ with half-shut eyes, of the New Right, he was on who just don’t know the talking points and didn’t know what in the world he was talking about.  He advertised he was an ex-Marine. 

He was one of those ‘Smokers,’ the ones who kick down doors in the middle of the night in Iraq and smoke women and children.  Semper Fi.

He’s already eligible for a full pension.

Colorado needs less marijuana and more oxygen.

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By gerard, December 15, 2010 at 2:54 pm Link to this comment

Crocodile tears.  The teeth are what you gotta watch out for.

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who'syourdebs's avatar

By who'syourdebs, December 15, 2010 at 2:33 pm Link to this comment

Either it’s politically staged or the man has emotional problems. It is sobering indeed that the soon-to-be Speaker of the House will be just two sets of heartbeats away from the Presidency. Besides, how can you trust a man that looks like a used-car salesman and gets his tan out of a bottle?

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RayLan's avatar

By RayLan, December 15, 2010 at 12:37 pm Link to this comment

This guy is already a repulsive stone-hearted Rep with leathery tanned skin. Now the crocodile tears makes him unbearably weird. He cares about kids but not the Department of Education. He cares about the American Dream but won’t compromise on tax cuts for the rich. He holds the unemployed hostage to them.
Yah cry me a river. You have to do something to make people believe you’re human.

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By garth, December 15, 2010 at 11:56 am Link to this comment

I’ll tell you what Boehner is all about.

In the 50s and 60s, I’d go with my father to visit my grandfather.  Most of the times, a few of my uncles would be there.  And they were always drinking. 

Retired and happy to spend their leisure time sucking down the suds with Grampy, they’d begin to reminisce.  Before too long, the grudges surfaced and the tears began to roll.  For the longest time, I thought I was Irish.

I always noticed their complexions.  I thought it was a ruddy, outdoorsman look.  Then, a few of my aquaintances who stayed in the dark and did drugs and drank beer as an afterthought, started to turn Boehner Orange, too.  It was their livers screaming stop! or at least slow down.

I appoint Boehner, The Irishman of the Year.

Orange and Weepy. 

Just sit back and watch, and if you ever get the chance, offer him a manhattan.  For old times sake.  Bring up the hard days of yesteryear.  You might be in for quite a show.

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By purplewolf, December 15, 2010 at 11:51 am Link to this comment

He is noting but a drunken lush crying in his beer. His fellow congressional in crime club buddies say he is in the bar by 5 pm every night, no later than 6pm drinking. He has an alcohol problem, shows signs of mental instability, bursts of rage, depraved indifference toward those less fortunate like those who jobs are gone thanks to the rich out sourcing American jobs to other countries and as for crying when thinking about the students-children-today achieving the American dream all the while he is cutting spending on education is a load of crap, or as John puts it, chicken shit.

As for his claim to working every crappy job there was, I find that hard to believe. Hey, John, try working in home care or nursing care one-on-one with the sick, elderly and disabled and take care of their every personal need, that can be a really crappy job and a dirty one. And if you have any empathy at all, not just crocodile tears,you would really know what real crying is and not that fake act you display for the network cameras.

Perhaps you should try taking care of some of our returning soldiers you and your fellow repukes sold a batch of lies to about our safety all on the name of profits for the MIC, which you make certain every fighter plane sold to them, they have to buy another engine for every engine those planes have because they make the engines in your district of Ohio. And don’t forget the big oil which Bush let it slip he was in Iraq for. Yeah you got a lot to cry about, only you are crying for the wrong reasons about the wrong situations.

You are not competent enough or mentally stable to hold this job. You don’t need the money and this country certainly does not need the type of so called leadership you offer, as it is slanted for the less than 2% of the richest of the rich. No go home and have yourself a real cry, you sorry sack of crap.


I will even send you a box of kleenex from the dollar store.

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By Bill, December 15, 2010 at 11:24 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

What a waste of space on Truthdig for such an empty fluff piece.

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By glogrrl1, December 15, 2010 at 11:15 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

John Boner is such a freakin’ phony….he only crys for things involving HIMSELF.  If children really made him cry, he’s vote to HELP them instead of constantly voting AGAINST things to help them, as he has consistently done the past 2 years for the party of GnOPe.

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By ray, December 15, 2010 at 11:08 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

the weepy will inherit the riches if they weep enough or just give everyone an upset stomach.

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By mainspark, December 15, 2010 at 10:30 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

“Female politicians, by contrast, still have to hold it in…”

Please, no double standards for politicians.

As a constituent of John Boehner, I am embarrassed by his frequent episodes of crying. Considering that he will be two heartbeats away from the presidency, I shudder to think of the blubbering that the entire world would be exposed to, if/when he ever gets to that point.

Please don’t misunderstand! I have no problem with men crying. It’s just that he cries at the drop of a hat.

He needs help.

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By aacme88, December 15, 2010 at 8:24 am Link to this comment

Sorry. I can get weepy too. Certainly I often cry at movies. And I’m a six foot six straight guy. But I’m not a fucking criminal. This creep being weepy just makes makes me think Baba is right. He’s got an emotional problem.

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By anchr, December 15, 2010 at 5:49 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I wonder what the right wing would say if a Democratic Speaker of the House were prone to frequent crying over everyday things. I can hardly image all the vitriol and ridicule that would generate.

But he’s a Republican, so then it’s OK ...

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By Guest, December 15, 2010 at 3:11 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

What the hell is this drivel?  Seriously?

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By diamond, December 15, 2010 at 3:06 am Link to this comment

It’s guilt and this shit has a lot to be guilty about.

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