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Reports

Obama’s Obscure Pronunciation of ‘Nuclear’ Breaks With Tradition

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Posted on Apr 4, 2010
White House / Pete Souza

Satire by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON—In what some are calling the boldest move of his presidency, Barack Obama broke with a time-honored tradition observed by several U.S. presidents, including George W. Bush, by pronouncing the word nuclear as it appears in the dictionary.

Announcing a new weapons pact with Russia, Obama repeatedly pronounced the word nuclear in a way that has rarely been used by a U.S. president since Jimmy Carter was in the White House.

But according to Davis Logsdon, a professor of international relations at the University of Minnesota, Obama’s pronunciation of nuclear may have been key to the diplomatic breakthrough: “The Russians have heard presidents pronounce it “nucular” for so long, they may have thought he was offering something new.”

Obama’s obscure pronunciation of nuclear drew harsh reactions from members of the tea party movement, who see the president’s obsession with correct English usage as an attempt to make the nation more European. A sign at a recent tea-bagger rally read, “Obama Wants to Disconnect Your Granma [sic] and Correct Your Gramar [sic].”

Elsewhere, Sarah Palin campaigned for John McCain today in a bid to shore up his support among morons.

Advertisement

In Turnabout, Michael Steele Calls Same-Sex Unions ‘Incredibly Hot’; GOP Chairman Changes Positions

WASHINGTON—In what appears to be a reversal of a longstanding GOP position, RNC Chair Michael Steele said today that he considered same-sex unions “incredibly hot, especially when the girls are getting it on in a glass case.” When asked whether his comment meant that the GOP now favored same-sex marriage, Steele clarified his position: “If we’re talking about two hot lesbian girls simulating marriage in a glass case, yes, I am very much into that sort of thing.”

Steele denied that he had changed positions on the same-sex union issue, but added, “There’s nothing wrong with changing positions if you like the new one better.” The GOP chairman could not be reached for further comment, as a spokesman for Steele said he was all tied up.

Other Republicans were critical, however, about the GOP chairman’s authorizing nearly $2,000 for a night out at a Los Angeles sex club, including Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev.: “Why spend that kind of money for something you can see in my office for free?”

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2010 Creators Syndicate


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Calabashe's avatar

By Calabashe, April 7, 2010 at 2:57 pm Link to this comment

chizeled - Parsing! She said “home country” as in ancestry, heritage.

I was born in Connecticut USA. I’m an American. My family’s ancestral home is Brenzoni Italy so I call myself Italian as well.

NEWS FLASH: Barak Obama Jr. is an Afican-American! : NEWS FLASH

Mama Obama was an American so even if Hawaii didn’t already produce a certified birth certificate, Barak Hussein Obama is an American. Get over it!

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By chizeled, April 6, 2010 at 6:33 am Link to this comment

Michelle Obama tells the LGBT that Barack’s home country is Kenya:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxh1PvjP0Ug&feature=player_embedded

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By LoveisintheStars, April 5, 2010 at 9:57 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Yes teabaggers, because good pronunciation and correct grammar makes us more
European.

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anaman51's avatar

By anaman51, April 5, 2010 at 8:44 pm Link to this comment

Thank you, President Obama, for not being another sub-human illiterate moron in the White House. It was embarrassing to listen to W. mangle the language to the point where I refused to listen to him speak. That idiot was our President? Nice of him to take time off from roping his goat to drop by the halls of power and mispronounce the entire English language, one word at a time. Incredible. 59 million Americans voted for that dope.

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By yfic, April 5, 2010 at 12:26 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

[sigh] Borowitz can’t even get his facts right in satire. Jimmy Carter says “nookular” too.

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RenZo's avatar

By RenZo, April 5, 2010 at 9:40 am Link to this comment

@Night-Gaunt
I hear that his acento tejicano is actually real (doubt it) but even if he affected the nookyulur pronunciation at first, after eight years of faking I am pretty sure he still says it. Try talking like an Australian for eight years and then try to stop suddenly; it doesn’t work so well. There was a lot about him that still is fake, including his marriage, his religion, his sobriety, his accent, his dumbness and any concern for others that he ever made a show of (I can’t remember that part). He was high every time he appeared for a speech. He had the male hustler stay overnight. What we saw was a complete invention. He can at last relax in the kind of privacy that millions and millions of dollars buy for oneself.

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Night-Gaunt's avatar

By Night-Gaunt, April 5, 2010 at 7:41 am Link to this comment

Of course you know that GWB affected that for the same reason he formally had a ranch in Texas, for a false persona. I doubt if you would hear it too often now that he is out of office.

Also we could have a more precisely spoken language and greener, cleaner weapons so that we can be the cleanest proto-empire ever to exist!

But isn’t Obama the other “Bush” in this? He is just another person in the slot of a vast criminal conspiracy of a gov’t eaten away from the inside by corporations owned by psychopaths who only want power and excitement. He is just a CEO front.

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Samson's avatar

By Samson, April 5, 2010 at 7:26 am Link to this comment

I’m sure all the Democrats will be very happy now that the word is correctly pronounced. 

Yet another Democrat distraction to hide the fact that the Democrats never opposed Bush’s actual policies.  So, instead they make a big deal on how the word is pronounced.  This creates the fake impression of ‘opposing’ Bush, while as we can see now the election of the Democrats doesn’t lead to any change .... except in how the word is pronounced.

File this away, as its probably the biggest ‘change’ from Bush that you’ll see from Obama.

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By balkas, April 5, 2010 at 7:06 am Link to this comment

But, don’t those bombs and missiles look so gently butiful? Anyway, the missiles i see from time to time being wheeled to a bonvoyage plane, do look so peaceful, sleek that any butiful and buttiful woman wld love to ride.
Ther’s just one thing missing on them…. tnx

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By Mini Man, April 5, 2010 at 4:38 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

According to my (Longman) dictionary both “njuklier” and “nuklier” are correct ways of pronouncing the word nuclear.

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By bogi666, April 5, 2010 at 3:34 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I’m offended by President O’BushBama, sullying America’s reputation for ignorance and illiteracy by using the pronunciation nuclear, it’s obviously Ebonics. On a more serious note, the purpose of using nuclear is to boil water to turn the turbines and someone should remind insane McCain, a war criminal and traitor, how the Palin strategy worked out for him in 2008. HE and Palin LOST so McCain decides to go with the same losing strategy in 2010 and expecting a different result, a definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.I wish McCain, who has been a ward of the USG since before his birth in a government hospital, the worst.

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RenZo's avatar

By RenZo, April 4, 2010 at 10:07 pm Link to this comment

Andy, my boy, this is not good news. I don’t know which pronouncing dictionary you have been consulting online, but I suspect it was the Indonesian or Kenya English pronouncing dictionary. We should know by this time that Bush speaks Merkan, and Bama speaks Kenyan. Don’t you try to wiggle out of it. Admit it was Kenyan English, perfectly rendered however, I must say. Haven’t heard it so well and crisply pronounced since the Queen Herself visited Kenya and used it.

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By gerard, April 4, 2010 at 6:52 pm Link to this comment

Halleluya!  That’s one less thing the Europeans can find to make fun of Americans with.  Now if we could just get nuclear weapons outlawed worlwide, that would really raise the opinions of the world’s people.

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