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Reports

Cheney Denies Knowing Bush

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Posted on Jan 27, 2006
BUsh with Cheney
White House photo by David Bohrer

Shocking photos of the president and vice president emerge. Bush and Cheney deny ever having met.

By Andy Borowitz

Days after photos surfaced showing President George W. Bush together with disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff, Vice President Dick Cheney attempted to put some distance between himself and the embattled president, telling reporters that he and Mr. Bush had never met.

“I do not know this person you call George W. Bush,” Mr. Cheney flatly stated at a press conference in Washington today.

Mr. Cheney explained that because he spent most of his time at his secure, undisclosed location, his path had simply never crossed with that of Mr. Bush.

The vice president’s claim that he did not know the president strained the credulity of the White House press corps, many of whom could recall seeing the two men together at one time or another.

But President Bush, aiming to put some distance between himself and the vice president because of Mr. Cheney’s possible implication in the CIA leak case, spoke to reporters later in the day and sounded the same notes that Mr. Cheney had earlier.

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“Dick Cheney sounds familiar, but doesn’t ring a bell,” he said.

At the president’s press conference, however, one reporter held up a file containing over 40,000 photos of Mr. Bush with Mr. Cheney and asked the president for an explanation.

“Trick photography?” the president said.

The day ended with a press briefing by White House spokesman Scott McClellan, who denied knowing either Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney.

Elsewhere, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld denied that the U.S. military was stretched thin and near the snapping point, but acknowledged that that was true of him.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book “The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers.”

 


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RobertBennett's avatar

By RobertBennett, April 21, 2007 at 9:43 am Link to this comment

I find it hard to believe that a Genuine News Agency would publish drivel like this.

I wouldn’t mind so much if it were actually funny, but it isn’t.

Mr. Borowitz is a bad comedian pandering to less than intelligent progressives.

I’m a progressive myself, and the biggest problem with the progressive movement, is its association with small minded adolescents like Mr. Borowitz.

Peace,
Bob Bennett
Lick Skillet, Alabama

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By Mike Kennedy, February 2, 2006 at 3:49 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I find it very hard to believe that you could find 6 people who not only look like Cheney; but, could actually act like as big of an ass as Cheney.

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By David "not his real name" Hahn, February 1, 2006 at 10:06 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Humor is good, yes, but does no one know the real truth?  Dick Cheney, our vice president, has been dead since 2003. He passed away in his sleep from heart failure. There are currently 6 “doubles” who have been groomed and trained to take over his political and diplomatic obligations.

We must be proud of our government which handily stays the course without his subtle guidance!

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By George Gaynes, February 1, 2006 at 3:43 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Lame.

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By Jerry, January 29, 2006 at 11:39 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Excellent!

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By tescht, January 29, 2006 at 8:46 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Imagine….

Bundling up $100,000 and handing it to a guy for his re-election campaign, and now Bush says “I don’t know him”. I wonder if some of those “Bush Pioneers” are having second thoughts about what they have done.

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By John, January 28, 2006 at 6:46 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Thieving rats leaving a sinking ship.

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By JTD, January 28, 2006 at 12:21 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

The Garlic: All The Cloves Fit To Peel had a similar riff earlier this week

Wednesday 25 January 2006
Breaking News!

White House: “We Know No Such Person Named Jack Abramoff”

“We Couldn’t Even Find A Library Card”; McClellan Defends GOP, Calls Scandal “Lobbyist Surveillance Program”

http://puregarlic.blogspot.com/2006/01/wednesday-25-january-2006.html

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By walt, January 28, 2006 at 11:00 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Great satire.

Scary part? How much truth is there in this?

How much contact do you think the “Wizard” actually has with the “Man Behind the Curtain”

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