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Reports

BP Develops Technology to Convert Lies Into Energy

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Posted on Jun 20, 2010

Fake news by Andy Borowitz

LONDON—In what is being called a game-changer for the embattled oil company, BP announced today that it has developed a new technology to convert lies into energy.

At a press conference at corporate headquarters in London, BP CEO Tony Hayward said that environmentalists would embrace the new technology “because lies are a totally renewable resource.” Illustrating the impact of BP’s new technology, Hayward told reporters, “Over the past month alone, my words could power the city of London for a year.”

But the new technology has its skeptics, including the University of Minnesota’s Davis Logsdon, who warns of the dangers of “lie spills.”

“We have learned from recent BP press conferences that once the lie flow starts, it can be very hard to stop,” he says.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”

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© 2010 Creators Syndicate


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By ejreed, June 21, 2010 at 2:17 pm Link to this comment

Then there’s Field of Dreams meets the apocalypse. Or after Waterworld… Yes, Kevin Costner to the rescue? Hey, it certainly beats dropping Nukes 50 miles off the Gulf Coast.
http://www.newslook.com/videos/219780-kevin-costner-s-oil-spill-solution?autoplay=true

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Samson's avatar

By Samson, June 21, 2010 at 9:30 am Link to this comment

With our politicians, this means unlimitted energy.  Whoo-hooo.  Hook a politician up to a microphone then crank up the air conditioning!

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By balkas, June 21, 2010 at 6:34 am Link to this comment

The reason for widespread lying by pols, media, clergy is that it is very successful. Our languages are not structured for distingishing lies from truths.

In other words, many lies cannot ever be proven as lies. Such statements can be rejected, condemned, people who use them hated, but never proven untrue.
Especially in the view that almmost all MSM collumnists, priests, pols, judges, ‘educators’ will alway either shun to talk ab the lies or in fact wld vigourously present them as truth.
tnx

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By ofersince72, June 21, 2010 at 6:18 am Link to this comment

Obama himself could power the whole eastern seaboard
including Atlanta.
With him and 535 legislators on Cap Hill, heck, we have
enough energy into the next century.

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By rollzone, June 20, 2010 at 4:54 pm Link to this comment

hello. i read recently Beyond Petroleum has discovered the method of intercepting passive electron transfer in plants, between the photosynthesis cycle; and amazingly will be marketing a tree you may purchase as a seedling, which grows to the size of a house: complete with internalized free electricity. add their patented hydroponic rain water capturing system, with a waste compositor directed to the roots: and green you are! you may as well be a vermin. i read they got the idea from the observation of plants growing so much better under high voltage power lines: from the emf variants, or whatever. remarkable green symbiosis of the tree growing at accelerated rates -from the very electricity it generates. they are projecting seedlings to cost about $100,000 Euros, and requiring about 2 years to reach livable heights. hug a tree- i want to have sex with this one. good work BP!

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