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May 19, 2013
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Ahmadinejad Promises Democratic Reforms in EgyptPosted on Feb 20, 2011Fake news by Andy Borowitz TEHRAN — In a dramatic address to pro-democracy protesters in Tehran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad promised the people of Iran that there would soon be democratic reforms in Egypt. “Your call for democratic freedoms has been heard loud and clear,” Ahmadinejad told the protesters. “And soon, they will be instituted in Egypt, where you can visit them.” He said that every Iranian who thirsts for democracy “should rejoice at it blossoming such a short plane ride away.” In an effort to cater to the social-media habits of Iran’s youth, Ahmadinejad said that the Iranian government would soon establish a Facebook page for democracy and permit the protesters to click on “Like.” The Iranian president said that democracy in nearby Egypt plus a democracy-themed Facebook page show that the Iranian government is “bending over backward” to listen to its people. “I know that you want democracy,” he told the crowd. “But for the time being, you’ll just have to settle for hypocrisy.” Elsewhere, democracy continued to sweep every Middle Eastern country that George W. Bush did not invade. Advertisement © 2011 CREATORS SYNDICATE New and Improved CommentsIf you have trouble leaving a comment, review this help page. Still having problems? Let us know. If you find yourself moderated, take a moment to review our comment policy. |
By rollzone, February 21, 2011 at 8:54 pm Link to this comment
hello. Auchmudinajar promises democratic reform in
Report thisWisconsin. Oboymamma declares he is determined to get
the swiss cheese heads what “he knows they want”:
Brett Faver. Bookface has a page ‘We are ALL swiss
Cheeseheads’, and encourages ordering 5% cotton t-
shirts- made in the school basement during sex
(education) breaks; for a minimal donation of $40
(dealers also will get you whatever else you need).
Wall Street rejoices in the distraction, by comically
electronically inflating the stock market into
another oil bubble of federal deficits- and sends
another Bible pedaling junket into Somali waters.
mercenary labor unions in Egypt refuse to fight
against Libya, declaring it is above their pay scale,
and it is just a stall for Moorboar Qadafi to cover
his assets.
By Vicki_in_Greece, February 21, 2011 at 5:00 pm Link to this comment
The irony is really dripping from this fake anecdote
Report thisconsidering that Iran is indeed a democracy. The
failings of the most recent election were similar to
those happening in the USofA. . .
By prosefights, February 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm Link to this comment
‘In the early 1980’s the USA’s Donald Rumsfeld went to Iraq, shook hands with Saddam Hussein and made a deal to sell him weapons for his war against Iran.’
It’s worse.
Nojeh Coup
In July 1980, Zbigniew Brzezinski of the United States met Jordan’s King Hussein in Amman to discuss detailed plans for Saddam Hussein to sponsor a coup in Iran against Khomeini. King Hussein was Saddam’s closest confidant in the Arab world, and served as an intermediary during the planning. The Iraqi invasion of Iran would be launched under the pretext of a call for aid from Iranian loyalist officers plotting their own uprising on July 9, 1980 (codenamed Nojeh, after Shahrokhi/Nojeh air base in Hamedan). The Iranian officers were organized by Shapour Bakhtiar LINK, who had fled to France when Khomeini seized power, but was operating from Baghdad and Sulimaniyah at the time of Brzezinski’s meeting with Hussein. However, Khomeini learned of the Nojeh Coup plan from Soviet agents in France and Latin America. Shortly after Brzezinski’s meeting with Hussein, the President of Iran, Abolhassan Bani-Sadr quietly rounded up 600 of the loyalist plotters within Iran, putting an effective end to the Nojeh Coup.[5] Saddam decided to invade without the Iranian officers’ assistance, beginning the Iran-Iraq war on 22 September 1980.
Google ‘How the Iraq/Iran War Got Started’ for details.
Brzezinski has a docketed criminal complaint affidavit filed against him in New Mewico 97 cv 266 for inciting Saddam Hussein to attack Iran.
No statute of limitations for alleged crime.
Our stolen $22,036 is a partial result of that affidavit.
Google ‘admiral william h payne’ for current status.
Report thisBy fearnotruth, February 21, 2011 at 6:57 am Link to this comment
‘fake’ news often opens unintentional vistas, revealing ‘real’ news we’re not supposed to know
in this case we get a rich irony in that the news not supposed to be revealed is right there seeping
through the cracks in the ‘fake’ article
Mubarak’s ouster, which played out in media across the world as a ‘Facebook revolution’, was planned
for over 2 years through Freedom House in New York, but with the weighty details orchestrated behind
the scenes, through a cadre of disaffected Generals, who happened to be in conference at the Pentagon
the week it all started; but why - why Mubarak, the CIA’s good buddy?
...well, good buddy that he was, just some things he wouldn’t abide: in particular allowing Washington
to draft a defense alliance between Egypt and Israel - Mubarak refused to join with Saudi and Israel in
a war troika, under US protection, designed to make war on Iran
conclusion: no longer useful - analysis here is pretty convincing - http://preview.tinyurl.com/5r9sc43
Report thisBy Lockweed, February 21, 2011 at 12:54 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
The USA only wants democracies when those countries do what the USA wants,
otherwise it wants a dictatorship or any other form of gov’t that will be the
USA’s patsy. Iran had a democracy and the USA and Britain overthrew Iran’s
democracy in 1953. Twelve years earlier Britain attacked Iran and occupied it.
In the early 1980’s the USA’s Donald Rumsfeld went to Iraq, shook hands with
Saddam Hussein and made a deal to sell him weapons for his war against Iran.
In 1988 while the war was still going on the USA shot down an Iranian civilian
airliner murdering more than 300 people. Then two years later the USA turned
against its Iraqi ally and attacked Iraq. In 2002 the USA attacked Iraq again,
installed a puppet gov’t in Iraq, then killed Saddam Hussein and his son.
And now the USA wants to put a media man named Julian Assange in jail for
publishing things critical of the US gov’t but they haven’t figured out how to do
this without looking like the biggest hypocrites in the world. So far, what
they’ve come up with is he had sex in Sweden without wearing a condom (thats
illegal in that country).
The USA is the laughing stock of the world. It should try and get Israel to be a
Report thisdemocracy and stop worrying about Iran.
By John K, February 20, 2011 at 9:16 pm Link to this comment
I agree with the other posters. Every time you put Andy’s story’s on the homepage I wince - especially seeing it in the top position today. I don’t care how you label it, this kind of writing just doesn’t work here. It belongs in a section of the site called “Humor” - not on the home page with the other serious stories. Who else does this??
Report thisBy gerard, February 20, 2011 at 6:47 pm Link to this comment
Morris: No, you’re not alone in questioning “Fake News.” It skirts the edges of cynicism, and there is a danger that literal-minded people will take it seriously, of course. Others, like you and me—not so literal-minded as “sensative”, sympathetic, “defensive”—whatever—will feel it is insensitive and prejudicial and un-funny. “Fake News” is, of course, not entirely “fake” because its subjects are real struggles, problems and attitudes.
Report thisThe third paragraph is the best, I think, because it credits the internet by pointing up the fact that the net will not be ignored, no matter what dictator tries to control it. (Soon the U.S. will make a try at that one way or another; you can count on it.)
But—“Fake News” also often contains what are sometimes called “bitter ironies” such as the last sentence above: “Elsewhere, democracy continued to sweep every Middle Eastern country that George Bush did not invade.”(Not literally true, of course, but point well taken.)
All together, “Fake News” is a mixed bag, IMO.
By Morris, February 20, 2011 at 6:14 pm Link to this comment
I don’t understand the point of fatuous “Fake News” on your site. I subscribed to Truthdig in order to read in depth articles, based on “truth”. If people are looking for fake news, they can turn to Fox News or any of the other mainstream outlets.
I happen to care about the aspirations of the young people of Iran and reading this type of nonsense is an insult to them.
Am I alone in finding the paradox between “truthdig” and “fake news” very unfunny?
Report this