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Reports

Clinging to Civility

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Posted on Sep 16, 2009

By Ellen Goodman

For me, the real Obama moment of this back-to-work season wasn’t the speech before Congress or Wall Street. It was in the Virginia schoolhouse when a ninth-grader asked him a question that had nothing and everything to do with his presidency: “And if you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?”

The president was not about to choose Lindsay Lohan. Nor did he pick Abe Lincoln. His answer was Gandhi. Yes, that Gandhi.

“It would probably be a really small meal because he didn’t eat a lot,” he added with humor. But the icon of nonviolent leadership was his inspiration because “he ended up doing so much and changing the world just by the power of his ethics.”

As I heard this, I imagined a huge groan emanating skyward from a frustrated phalanx of his supporters. “Gandhi? Did he say Gandhi?”

These are people who spent the summer waiting for Obama’s inner fighter. The left thought he’d gotten right-wing sand kicked in his face. The media were so anxious for a battle, they got nostalgic for LBJ, urging Obama to twist arms and knock heads.

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Instead they heard the man telling a polarized Congress, “I still believe we can replace acrimony with civility.” Gandhi, meet Joe Wilson.

This is the Obama story. Right from the get-go, Americans were attracted to a man who was more collaborative than combative. Hillary was the tough guy in the primaries. McCain was the warrior in the election. Obama was the Oprah candidate who believed we could talk with anyone, even our enemies.

At times, supporters urged him into trench warfare with Sen. Clinton. He didn’t go, and he won. At times, advisers wanted him to duke it out with Sen. McCain. He didn’t, and he won.

The country liked a man who fashioned himself as a healer. And yet there has always been this underlying anxiety. Can you be a healer and a politician? If you try to mediate an ideological divide, do you just end up in the crossfire?

Michael Ignatieff, leader of the Liberal Party in Canada, recently described his transition from academic to politician this way: “It’s combat. And you have to be ready for combat, and you have to lead troops into a kind of rhetorical battle. And you’ve got to show fight. This is not a seminar.” And that’s in Canada.

Clearly, Obama knows this. But it’s equally clear that he wants to do this leadership thing his own way. As his would-be dinner companion would say, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

This is risky stuff. After all, the iconic American hero is the man who doesn’t pick a fight but is inevitably pushed into one. It’s Gary Cooper in “High Noon.” 

The duality that we feel around political “combat” is not unlike the anxiety about raising boys in our culture. Parents want sons to resolve arguments without a fight, to use reason, not fists. But deep in some primal place, they also believe that when push comes to shove, their boys had better be able to shove harder.

In the political playground, right and left, red and blue, have taken to their corners. Meanwhile, Obama sees himself as the principal, the grown-up. His resistance to getting riled up may come from the fear of being seen as an “angry black man.” It may also come from that old Gandhi-on-a-T-shirt wisdom that says if you get an eye for an eye, pretty soon the whole world is blind.

But those who urge Obama to adopt a new style as if it were a pair of designer jeans don’t realize just how deep this runs in his character.

“I’m skinny but I’m tough,” Obama laughingly reassured a union crowd this week. For better or worse, he is as tenacious in rejecting polarized politics as in promoting health care reform. He’s not just after a policy change but a cultural change. Indeed, he sees these two changes as fundamentally connected.

I’m not sure he can pull it off. This is not a seminar. Rep. Joe Wilson raised hackles for disrespecting the president, but he also raised $1.5 million—for himself and his opponent. We long for and disparage a fight, we reject it and reward it.

But I am reminded of Obama’s bemused response to Steve Kroft of “60 Minutes” on the woes of being, well, nonviolent, in the polarized world, and bringing civility to politics: “It’s still a work in progress. No doubt about it.”

For the president and the rest of us.

Ellen Goodman’s e-mail address is ellengoodman1(at)me.com.

© 2009, Washington Post Writers Group


Comments

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By tropicgirl, September 20, 2009 at 8:36 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

“...Obama faces unbridled corporations willing to spend billions to maintain
power, unprincipled Republicans and fearful, resentful, and brainwashed from
birth teabaggers who discard fact for faith…

Obama need not face this kind of opposition if he had one ounce of vision. The
vision is 70% for single payer or public option. But he is completely IN
AGREEMENT with the corporations, so much so he is willing to fork over trillions of
your taxes, to these corporations, even though he could cover everyone for free
several times over with that kind of money. (Obama is NOT into change. Won’t
touch it. Won’t happen despite all the money).

And what do you call the liberals and independents who no longer respect
Obama? Are we all brainwashed? Oh, I forgot, we are all racist, right?

Report this

By ocjim, September 19, 2009 at 10:07 pm Link to this comment

It is not possible. Gandhi had to contend with the British for whom decorum, saving face and bad media meant everything. Obama faces unbridled corporations willing to spend billions to maintain power, unprincipled Republicans and fearful, resentful, and brainwashed from birth teabaggers who discard fact for faith. Add to that a large element of racists and there is no way Obama can reason and compromise with such a motley crew. If Obama model is Gandhi, my money goes against my principles and interests, for the lions.

Report this

By Louise, September 19, 2009 at 8:08 am Link to this comment

Jean Gerard,

“Wasn’t it Amy Goodman who wrote the column “Let’s not become the evil we deplore”?  Leftish carping sounds an awful lot like rightish carping.  Not that criticism and complaining is “evil”—it’s just a lot more heat than light.  I keep thinking these people who write so fluently could probably think fluently, too, if only they would try.”

~~~

Thanks Jean. Nice to know there are still a few thinkers versus carpers reading Truthdig. smile

There is such a huge forum available for the “carpers.” They are everywhere dominating everything, ad nauseum. When Truthdig first appeared, I thought wow, finally a forum for honest debate! But I should have known better. To find fault in a disagreeable way. To complain fretfully and endlessly seems to be the dominant passtime for the majority of folks who find their way here.

I do not understand why people think constant fault finding is in any way productive. Seems to me all they do is make themselves angrier, while creating a sense of hopelessness in all those around them. What does that have to do with debate? Where is the value?

~~~

“Not that criticism and complaining is “evil”—it’s just a lot more heat than light.”

~~~

Again, thanks Jean.

Report this

By Michael Graham, September 18, 2009 at 4:31 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Gandhi?  Gimme a break!  That’s why Obama is pushing a war in Afghanistan, for reasons no one can define, supporting a guy who just “won” a rigged election?  He’s about to send 40,000 more troops there, even though Al Qaeda, the people who attacked us on 9-11, are long gone from that sorry land.  So what the hell are our soldier and Marines doing there, other than supporting oil interests?  Gandhi would retch.

Report this

By skateboardkid, September 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Mike, Glad to see others are thinking of the same thing. The idea of a lottery is
great. I have been mentioning this any chance I get. You know, it would give
everyone a hands on experience in our collective future. It is the life
experiences that we all want, even the high school drop out would add his
thoughts to a better future. This idea would eliminate voter corruption, and the
great amount of money spent on advertising an election. The idea would also
destroy the whole lobbing scheme. But, even a businessman could win the
lottery, so business is still represented. But now, the rest of us FINALLY have a
voice. All it takes is one honest branch of government, to eliminate the
corruption of the other two. But most of all, it is exciting, and people will want
to get involved. Which is the whole theme of the matrix movie.

I have followed truthdig for years, and surprised that this article was accepted.
Does this writer work for the washington post? It is like a knife in our backs.

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By mike112769, September 18, 2009 at 11:51 am Link to this comment

Hey Truthdig: Where is the rest of my post? Do we now have to let you edit them? What the hell?

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By mike112769, September 18, 2009 at 10:46 am Link to this comment

Skateboardkid: I’ve said for years that we should pick our public servants, from policemen to president, by a lottery. It would be infinitely more preferable than the garbage big business keeps sending us every two years. Anyone who actively seeks these types of jobs should NOT be allowed to have them.

As far as Ghandi being Obama’s choice goes; maybe Obama should try to emulate Ghandi in the Middle East. I strongly disagree with a lot of Ghandi’s views, but I admire the non-violent resistance part. Killing Afghanis is not good for America. It is only good for the Taliban. If Obama admires Ghandi, that just shows how little he knows about him. Ghandi was a racist who despised black people and called them animals. I think this is another example of Obama talking out of his ass when he really hasn’t got a clue. Obama has proven himself to be the archetypical politician. He will say exactly what he thinks you want to hear, then do whatever it is he wants to do.

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By wanked, September 18, 2009 at 3:52 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Who would prez play golf with after his dinner with Gandhi? Oh thats right..with the CEO of the Swiss Bank that protects all of the capitalists’ loot from taxation.

I really despise this hypocrite. Shame on you Ellen for defending lies.

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Ouroborus's avatar

By Ouroborus, September 17, 2009 at 6:17 pm Link to this comment

Ellen Goodman says:
“But those who urge Obama to adopt a new style as if
it were a pair of designer jeans don’t realize just
how deep this runs in his character.”
=================================================
But isn’t this what it’s all about? Character? To my
knowledge, Gandhi led an uncompromising battle based
on his principles of non-violence and self
sufficiency. The operational word here is
“uncompromising”. I have no intention to rail against
Obama, but to simply look at the reality of his words
followed by his deeds. Ms. Goodman has written a very
kind article full of optimism, which I’m not sure is
warranted at this time. I remain skeptical; fool me
once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

Report this

By Jean Gerard, September 17, 2009 at 5:09 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Wasn’t it Amy Goodman who wrote the column “Let’s not become the evil we deplore”?  Leftish carping sounds an awful lot like rightish carping.  Not that criticism and complaining is “evil”—it’s just a lot more heat than light.  I keep thinking these people who write so fluently could probably think fluently, too, if only they would try. What would you do instead—in any given instance—and how would you do it, given the same circumstances Obama faces and including all the factors he’s trying to deal with?  If the country could get a discussion going on those things, we’d get some traction. Otherwise it’s just hot air. Which is okay, as I said.  Just not helpful at a time when help is needed.

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LostHills's avatar

By LostHills, September 17, 2009 at 3:50 pm Link to this comment

Well, we already knew that Obama’s a great bullshitter. Reminds me of Bush saying the Bible is his favorite book. I’d like to see Obama have dinner with Ghandi and explain why he’s giving trillions to the bankers who are reposessing people’s homes and nothing to the working folks who are being evicted. I’d like to see him explain to Ghandi why he’s escalating the war in Afghanistan. I’d like to hear what Ghandi would have to say about health care reform that requires people who can barely pay their bills to buy private health insurance while requiring the employers and the rich to sacrifice nothing whatsoever. This could be a hit if we could get George Burns to return from the dead to play the role of Ghandi…

I’d like to hear AMY Goodman weigh in on this. Ellen’s still living in Yeswecan Land.

Report this

By Skateboardkid, September 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

This article takes away the accountability that we so much need of our public
servants.. The world who can’t wait, calls us the land of amnesia. Look at how
he voted for the many years before his new found election. He voted for
everything that has made our country bad. The citizens need to learn how to
recall any public servant that finds his own needs above the people. Like lying
on a job application, you are fired. As far as the person who wrote this article,
please step aside while the people who have their sleeves rolled back ready to
do the work to turn this mess around. And this time, business is going to sit at
the back of the buss. people before profit, enough already.

Suggest we do away with elections altogether. We should have a lottery to pick
our servants. Anyone over 18 years of age can be our new president, mayor, or
general. And every two years, we get new people with a new lottery. That way
new ideas, allot of them; will cross our table. Now we can be truly represented.
Think of how this will inspire new generations, others in the world. I once
heard that the world should be able to help decide who is elected because the
wold is so affected with our actions; I could not agree more. Now, I am scared
to travel as an american. We all sat by why this came undone over the many
years. It is time to get to work. We should start with the judicial system, and
elections. Because none of this would have happened if we had an honest
judicial system. Yes, so much work needs to be done. And it is not going to
happen if we keep doing what has already been done. So no, Obama is no
comparison to Ghandi, or any other honest nice person. A good man is a good
man. And a thief, is a thief.

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By chris dougherty, September 17, 2009 at 11:47 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

postively asinine i did not vote for gandhi and this comment smacks of the what would jesus do answer of the gore bush election enough of the valedictory speeches of barack obama i did not vote for valerie jarrett and rahm emanuel to screw up this country further i voted for barack obama because he is a leader of intelligence and sensitivity who was supported by deep revolutionary currents coming to the surface and supported by people who want their country to be something more than warfare capitalism and a media led nihilism - much of the spirit behind obama at the end was like the militant seattle 1999 antiglobalization rallies -

- gandhi was against empire while willy nilly paving the way for two serious military powers and frightful consequences - barack’s job is to wind down the empire and reinvigorate the country - for the moment the serious consequences of his failure will outlast a schoolroom plea to human beings better nature - get real people, get real!

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By Jean Gerard, September 17, 2009 at 11:13 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Thanks a bunch, Ellen Goodman!  It takes a woman!
If you judge by the “tea parties” and the comment columns, it looks like we’ve got a whole schoolyard full of complainers who, when they are not at each others’ throats, are carping because huge, complicated goals have not been delivered to them in ten months time. Excuse the education metaphor, but a lot of these people would benefit by going back to kindergarten where the bespectacled shepherdess kept saying, over and over,  “Now, now, kiddies!”

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By Mary Ann McNeely, September 17, 2009 at 9:47 am Link to this comment

. . . when a ninth-grader asked him a question that had nothing and everything to do with his presidency: “And if you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?”

The president was not about to choose Lindsay Lohan. Nor did he pick Abe Lincoln. His answer was Gandhi. Yes, that Gandhi.

Someone get me a bucket so I can hurl.  Tell Obama to buy himself a spinning wheel and take it to northern Afghanistan where he can show the Afghans his imitation of The Grim Reaper imitating Ghandi.

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tropicgirl's avatar

By tropicgirl, September 17, 2009 at 7:26 am Link to this comment

Although Obama’s style has not helped him, for many reasons, but that is not
what has hurt him. It is basically the hypocrisy.

Obama has cemented the most objectionable of Bush’s and the neo-con
policies. Then, his speeches suggest differently…

On the hopeless, reason-less wars against the Muslims.
On spying on Americans.
On torture-protecting
On tax dollars given to private corporations
On a policy of “no reform” for the financial industries, which, now, another
failure is possible or even probably, just a matter of time.
On a policy of “no real reform” of health insurance companies.

And not an hour goes by that the left wing radio and cable punditry do not
shriek their partisanship against conservatives, just as they did during Bush.
Truth be told, both sides deserve the disrespect. What they are doing is
obscene, not the lack of decorum on the “sacred” floor of the senate or house.

And Obama is caught in an endless web of PR “positioning” and policies
designed to further his own career, not help the American people.

If he indeed believes his saying, “Be the change you wish to see in the world…”
Its sounding more like, “just make the appearance of change but don’t really
change things with real reform or accountability anywhere.”

The American people are passing him by. The protests are spreading across
party lines while he campaigns for Specter. Its hard to fathom a president so
out of touch.

Unfortunately, he’s looking tired and discouraged these days but that is the
result of failing to reform… And suffering from many, many bad choices of his
“advisors”.

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By Tim Kelly, September 17, 2009 at 6:41 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Gandi was one of the few people in history to bring about lasting change.  He did not do so through collaboration and appeasement.  It was accomplished through non-violence and a refusal to accept less than success.  Gandi dealt with both the British and the Muslims, who had different demands than the Hindus.  Had Gandi not been assassinated, he likely would have achieved a unified India.  Non-violence is the means to bring about lasting change, but we rarely see it actually practiced.  Violence only changes who commits the violence.

Given the falseness of Obama’s words when compared to his actions, I would simply attribute his statement to his well-polished silver tongue. Obama is accomplishing what he set out to do (not what he said he set out to do).

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By konnie, September 17, 2009 at 5:58 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

and how long did it take Ghandi?  sorry Mr. Obama, you’ve got maybe 1 year. If we don’t see some real on the ground/in the wallet progress on the range of
issues - not just health care, but the wars and wall street, and jobs, and clean air, and, and, and…..... the loons will retake the house and your idealism is going to be kicked to the curb
and the radical right will have won.  you do not
have the luxury that Ghandi had in NOT being
an elected official, or the ever so civilized British government to deal with.  no tea with the limpuglicans. no scones with the tea baggers….....
you’ve picked the so-called pit bull in rahm -so turn him loose on the foot draggers, let him whip
them into a team behind the scenes and get something
done for the American PEOPLE - not the AMERICAN CORPORATIONS!

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ardee's avatar

By ardee, September 17, 2009 at 2:21 am Link to this comment

Collaboration is a two way street. Bi-partisan politics is impossible without both parties contributing. Leadership becomes a joke when the elected leader refuses to lead.

I respect and admire Ms. Goodman and her unceasing efforts to bring rationality and sanity to our political world. But I must draw the line at thinking that intellect and wit is enough. Obama has refused to step up, to draw a line, to take a stand, on many important issues in fact.

The Health Care reform fiasco is a perfct illustration. The keynote of his first term of office and he simply pushes the mess off on a Congress in which divisiveness is the norm, in which the majority party is a model of disunity and discord.

A real and experienced leader would have provided a framework, listed an agenda and enumerated needs. He would have worked , from the beginning, to bring his own party into line on this issue. Instead he dithered and stood silent while the real issues were propagandized beyond hope of recovery, while memes , untrue for the most part, were installed in the consciousness of the voters.

Sometimes eloquence and intent are not nearly enough, and I question even the intent.

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