LOGO: Truthdig: Drilling Beneath the Headlines. A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.
2010 Webby Award Winner for Best Political Blog
 
February 12, 2012
Log in / Register

 Choose a size
Text Size

Most Read

Frightening Charts From the Senate Inequality Hearing

Morris Berman and the Decline of America

More From Chris Hedges on Black Bloc

Perfection

Truthdigger of the Week: 9th Circuit Judge Stephen Reinhardt

Most Comments
Most Emailed

Reports

Ear to the Ground

A/V Booth

Arts & Culture
Political Divide

Digs
Financial Meltdown 101

Truthdig Bazaar
Yogi Berra: Eternal Yankee

Yogi Berra: Eternal Yankee

By Allen Barra
$18.45

more items

 
Reports

Kitten of the Sea

Email this item Email    Print this item Print   

Share
Posted on Feb 2, 2009

By Bruce Cameron

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) recently announced that they’ve gone insane.

Of course, that isn’t exactly how they worded it. What they say on their Website, www.peta.org, is that from now on we should all refer to fish as “sea kittens.”

PETA, you see, is against eating fish and figures that renaming the sea creatures will cause people to think twice before they head off to Red Lobster.

Don’t think that, in terms of eating fish, ordering a lobster lets you off the hook, no pun intended. According to the 1904 Entente Cordiale between France and England, a lobster is a fish. (There you have it: proof I did not sleep my entire way through world history class.)

As PETA says on its Web site, “People don’t seem to like fish.” But isn’t that exactly wrong? People love fish—they love it broiled, baked, grilled. ...

Advertisement

No, says PETA, “they’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads.” (They mean the fish here, not the people working at PETA.) Apparently, PETA believes calling them sea kittens will make the fish cuddly and cute. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a purring sea kitten curled up on the pillow?

Ashley Byrne, PETA’s sea-kitten-campaign coordinator, is quoted as saying, “Knowing that the fish sticks in the school cafeteria are really made out of tortured sea kittens makes most kids want to lose their lunch.”

This is what this country needs, a campaign to make kids throw up at school. That way, they’ll be sent home and will never be forced to learn that in 1904 some French and English diplomats took a look at a lobster and declared, “Yep, that thing sure is a fish.”

While at home, the kids can log onto PETA’s Web site and read some cheerful stories about sea kittens. There’s the story of Tara the Tuna sea kitten, who lives on a fish farm and “looks forward to the end.” Yes, Tara is a suicidal sea kitten. Then there’s Sally the sea kitten, who, according to PETA, is “bitter and insane. She spends her days plotting revenge against the land kittens.” In case you miss the point, there’s a drawing of Sally staring glumly at a drawing of a kitten. That’s right, kids, those cuddly little sea kittens want to kill your cat!

The Web site also states that sea kittens are both cuter and smarter than the president of the United States. My read of the U.S. Constitution suggests to me that despite these qualities, sea kittens are ineligible to run for president. They can’t even run for Congress, though you would think that being so slithery and slimy would make them ideal candidates.

And, hey, I’ve heard our president speak. I’m sorry, but I have to believe he is smarter than a mackerel. We did have a president a few years ago who seemed to do most of his thinking with his, um, trout. But this one not only uses his head, when he body-surfs in Maui a lot of women seem to think he’s pretty cute.

The irony here is that PETA chose kittens over, say, puppies or piglets. Because what do kittens love to eat? Fish! Yes, your little land kitten will tell you, “Please bring home a whole school of sea kittens for me to play with and devour!”

Lots of animals beside humans feast on sea kittens, including sea kittens. I doubt that grizzly bears will stop eating salmon if we tell them they’re actually kittens—in fact, I suspect bears would love to eat kittens.

I hate to have to be the one to tell PETA this, but renaming something doesn’t change what it is. Michael Moore could start calling himself Brad Pitt, but that doesn’t mean Angelina Jolie would marry him. No one is going to be more receptive if we call a terrorist attack “pingpong by poop-heads.” Small comfort will be gained by saying that the federal budget deficit is “a cuddly little love bunny.”

I know that PETA means well.

I just think they’ve got eyes on either side of their pointy little heads.

To write Bruce Cameron, visit his Web site at www.wbrucecameron.com.

© 2009 Creators Syndicate Inc.


Comments

Are you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig.

By Lateralus, February 5, 2009 at 4:33 pm Link to this comment

LOL, well then I am hungry for some sea kittens!

Report this

By voice of truth, February 5, 2009 at 4:32 pm Link to this comment

It’s SEA Kittens, not fish!!!  Is you ignant?

Report this

By Lateralus, February 5, 2009 at 4:15 pm Link to this comment

If eating animals makes me evil then so be it, but I am hungry for some steak and some fish, mmm mmm mmm.

Report this
Anarcissie's avatar

By Anarcissie, February 5, 2009 at 3:34 pm Link to this comment

Mr Comment:
’... Because it is one of the issues where the two sides refuse to acknowledge any of the actual issues being discussed. ...’

I’ve been interested in this congeries of issues for some time.  I find them both morally urgent and intellectually interesting.  There are a lot of books and articles which argue one of the several sides of the issues with recognition of the others.  However, that’s not what we have in this forum—we have mostly guffawing, which means we are starting way back from the point where sides can recognize other sides.  This is a fact that PETA and the ALF recognize.  You have to bust the humor, make people angry or at least uncomfortable, just to get the issue on the table.  So to speak.

Report this

By Inherit The Wind, February 5, 2009 at 3:15 pm Link to this comment

I always love how some PETA @$$hole will throw paint on some lady’s fur coat—while he/she is wearing either a down parka (made from dead geese and ducks) or a wool coat, or some garment sewed in the sweatshops of the Third World, containing lots of artificial materials made from petroleum products…So if they won’t wear leather, but shoes from the sweatshops….

F***ing hypocrites!  Somebody throws paint on MY wife he better have his affairs in order—I believe if you are assaulted you have the right to respond, and if it’s with deadly force, well, that’s the @$$hole’s look-out, not mine.

Report this

By Mr Comment, February 5, 2009 at 12:59 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

That’s really funny. Cause your innocent daughter couldn’t understand the moral discussion that was subtley going on between you and the activist. God kids are so innocent and sweet because they only know what they are told.

They could only put an issue like this in the Humor section because it raises reactions so aggressive on both sides (aggressively and passive aggressively) that without cute sea kittens at the center it would be gruelling. Because it is one of the issues where the two sides refuse to acknowledge any of the actual issues being discussed.

It often ends up being “You are an ignorant killer” vs “It is socially accepted so you must be wrong”...But I suppose all the people who aren’t talking might be getting something out of it.

Report this

By voice of truth, February 5, 2009 at 12:08 pm Link to this comment

I’ll never forget how a PETA activist once tried to get me to sign a petition to add an amendment to the Florida state consitution.  It would ban keeping sows in relatively small cages, a practice which had actually been discontinued already by every farm in the state of Florida.  When I said no, the guy stated that pigs needed to be free.  I said “pigs, like in bacon, right?”  The priceless part was my 4yr old daughter saying, “Daddy, I love bacon”, just as innocently as a 4yr old can.  The look of abject horror on the guy’s face as he recoiled was something I will never forget!

Report this
Anarcissie's avatar

By Anarcissie, February 5, 2009 at 11:55 am Link to this comment

I have some pretty big disagreements with PETA—I once carried on an extended argument about feral cats by email with Ingrid Newkirk, which was quite an experience—but I have to admit that they are tremendously effective, and the most powerful tools in their toolkit seems to be their various talents for annoying and outraging people, often by making some sort of seemingly ridiculous move.  The responses in this forum occur almost everywhere where the subject of PETA arises, almost word for word.  The laughter dies down, and the issue remains and won’t go away. 

Whereas if I, seeking to protect sentient beings like non-human animals from gratuitous torture and death, were to gravely intone the Dhammapada, you’d ignore me and forget I ever said anything.  PETA’s got something.

Report this

By Inherit The Wind, February 5, 2009 at 9:59 am Link to this comment

Hey! Pass me some more of that smoked sea-kitten, will you?  And then some cream cheese made from milk robbed from a calf’s mother.  It’s all going on my bagel, Yum!

Yup, we all know Oscar and Nemo are super-cute fish—then there’s Ariel’s buddy in Little Mermaid.

I had a PETA nut tell me I was cruel to set mousetraps.  I said, when I find mouse droppings in my house I’m gettin’ the mice.  She said she finds them on her countertop and just wipes them off.  YECH!!!!!!!

Naturally we would never eat at HER house, or anything she prepared and brought somewhere.

Fish eat fish, seals eat fish, whales eat fish, fish eat seals, and sometimes whales eat whales.  So, unless a species is endangered, why shouldn’t we?

“Specism” is specious.

Report this

By M.B.S.S., February 4, 2009 at 11:29 pm Link to this comment

PETA has has long since sacrificed legitimacy at the altar of the splashy big headline.  their over the top antics do cause some friction in the animal rights community because the smaller, less showy organizations get overshadowed along with their work.  that doesnt negate the fact that PETA makes some pointed, salient points.  naaaaamely…

why are humans so arbitrary about the animals that we eat and kill?  slaughter a giant rat, slice a fish, violate vermin, but dear god, you go near by precious puppy and i will do you in.

the logic is that is its perfectly acceptable to kill anything that is unattractive or at least unattractive and unable to suck up to human masters. isnt the idea of sea puppies more telling about the recipients of the marketing than those that would do the marketing?  what deserves to live or die? and for those that deserve to live, what the should the quality of that life be?

i find that its impossible to determine the relative value of one life form to the next, and that if one living thing deserves to be respected then all of them do.  and im not being impractical in the slightest.  there is a way to kill with respect, and eat other living things.  indeed life feeds on life.

the living things that become our foodstuffs are reciprocating the lack of respect they received at our hands by redelivering the poisons of their creators back to their original source.  the circle is complete and justice is served cold.

Report this

By Mr Comment, February 4, 2009 at 6:50 pm Link to this comment

What is this? “Talking points”??

Repeating a dismissive mantra like “PETA is insane” doesn’t provide any sort of insight and it certainly doesn’t give anyone a peer at PETAs true intentions. Claiming to know whether Peta “really means it” is also a bit of a dubious claim because I’ve seen the text and if you read it literally then you are right and if you allow for satire or any sort of humor then I am most likely right. I am basing my evidence the images of cuddly cartoon fish playing around the text in the actual PETA site, not in a secondhand report.

And on your side note: whether or not being raised as farm animals as an excuse to propagate the species makes me wonder why we should worry about the lot of chickens ability to survive worldwide without us “caring” for them.

We don’t owe the chickens a living, and raising them for slaughter doesn’t really sound like a super exchange…if you are trying to paint the mass production of chicken argument as a charitable act.

Report this

By voice of truth, February 4, 2009 at 10:48 am Link to this comment

PETA is insane.  They have gone from protecting animals from inhumane treatment to outright hatred of humans.  The sea kitten crap is not simply “new marketing”, they really, really believe it.

If people stopped eating beef altogether, or pork, or even poultry, for the matter, cows, pigs and chickens would quite simply cease as a species.  No one is going to pay for the upkeep on a cow (Hindis excluded) if they can’t drink its milk or eat it.

Report this

By Mr Comment, February 4, 2009 at 6:44 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

Dude you sound a little extreme. Have you looked at thier website. There are cartoon fish kittens. They aren’t crazy, it’s a marketing shift. They have a superbowl ad of sexy woman with vegetables.

Are you legitimately afraid of Peta working on plans to wipe out the human race or something. They are trying to find ways to protect animals and what they consider to be extreme violence against helpless individuals.

Aren’t there more dangerous situations to vigorously oppose rather than belittling people who are advocating dietary and factory livestock changes as insane…especially cause they came up with a marketing campaign for cutesy “sea kittens”.

If you are still worried about thier elitist animilist agenda, take a look at how not insane thier website is. I checked it out yesterday and it seems like more of a smear campaign against them than anything else.

Report this

By SkeeterVT, February 4, 2009 at 4:15 am Link to this comment

No, it’s no joke. PETA really has gone insane. It’s been taken over by extreme misanthropic radicals.

Indeed, the PETA of today bears no resemblance whatsoever to the PETA of its founders in 1980: An organization dedicated to the humane treatment of laboratory animals in medical research.

Today’s PETA veered far away from the ethics of the Humane Society, SPCA, Anti-Vivisection Society and other animal-welfare organizations with its radical beliefs. It rejects the idea of animals as property (That means if you have a pet, there’s something wrong with you). 

PETA opposes all forms of they call “speciesism” (They equate with racism), animal testing, animal product eating (They’re extreme radical vegans), factory farming, and hunting (PETA has become a favorite whipping boy of the NRA), as well as the use of animals in entertainment or as clothing, furniture, or decoration (I’m not a fan of wearing furs, either—but mainly because furs are status symbols among the super-rich).

While PETA had a legitimate cause when it was founded—the treatment of lab animals—it has since moved farther and farther away from the mainstream animal-welfare community and in recent years have become more and more bizarre in its radicalism.

Now, I can say without fear of contradiction that PETA has crossed the line into outright misanthopism—fear and loathing of humans—with its new, highly elitist campaign to convince everyone to switch to a vegan diet, which is every bit as unbalanced nutritionally as an all-meat diet—and, for that matter, the junk-food diet that far too many Americans eat.

These radicals have gone too far and must be opposed vigorously.

Report this

By Mr Comment, February 3, 2009 at 1:55 pm Link to this comment

Sea Kittens is obviously PETA having a sense of humor. It is an old joke about people not wanting to kill the cute pet.

It is such a drag to have people take everything so seriously. Maybe you should write an editorial about the crazy things they said last night on the Colbert Report. That guy is insane. What a looney.

It sucks to have to explain a joke, but it sucks more to listen to people talk incessantly because they didn’t realize it was humor.

Report this

By FEMAcamp, February 3, 2009 at 7:59 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

PETA is insane
the world is older than 6000 years
the federal government IS out top enslave you.

Report this

By voice of truth, February 3, 2009 at 6:50 am Link to this comment

In all seriousness, I am a little miffed that this column was written as “humour”.  To me, this is no different than the thumpers who believe the earth is 6,000 years old, the Federal Gov’t is out to enslave us, etc.  If this was a story about the nuts on the far right we would be ridiculing them, and not in a “humourous’ way.  Just because these PETA looneys are on the left, they shouldn’t be given a free pass on the “eccentricity”.

One of these days, one of the PETA nuts is going to let some monkey packed full of Ebola, et al, out of his research cage, and then we are all going to be screwed.

Report this

By Lateralus, February 2, 2009 at 6:48 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

What is wrong with people? Next thing you know they are gonna try to ban eating cows. They must be vegitarians or something. I am by no means a cruel to animals type person; if I see a person just being mean to a dog or cat for no reason they are going to get more than just a piece of my mind, but fish are food, plain and simple. In some parts of the world fishing for food is necessary for human survival and humans are for more important than animals or fish any day.

Report this
peterjkraus's avatar

By peterjkraus, February 2, 2009 at 2:19 pm Link to this comment

Calling fish sea kittens makes as much sense as calling dead (foreign) kids collateral damage.

Report this

By voice of truth, February 2, 2009 at 9:19 am Link to this comment

No need to worry PI. While most people think kittens are cute and cuddly, a LOT of people HATE cats, so you did the world a favor!

Report this
Political Insurgent's avatar

By Political Insurgent, February 2, 2009 at 5:40 am Link to this comment

I’m starting to regret that catfish I had for dinner yesterday.

wink

Report this

By paul bass, February 2, 2009 at 5:26 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

im just can’t wait till i can get some bbq land-fish
rottenryan.com/images/kittens.jpg

Report this

Add Your Comment

Posts by unregistered readers are moderated. Posts by members
are published immediately. Why wait? Register today!






                        Number of characters remaining: 4000

Notify you when others comment on this article?

Are you a human? Retype the word you see here.

     

Please read and abide by our comment policy.
By submitting this comment, you agree to this site's terms and conditions.

 
 
 
Join the Liberal Blog Advertising Network
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.
Copyright © 2012 Truthdig, L.L.C. All rights reserved.