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 5 Approved Obama JokesPosted on Jul 20, 2008Saying he is “sympathetic to late night comedians’ struggle to find jokes to make about me,” Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes. The five jokes, which Sen. Obama said he is making available to all comedians free of charge, are as follows: Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, “You know, we don’t get many kangaroos here.” Barack Obama replies, “At these prices, I’m not surprised. That’s why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.” A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, “I was expecting the farmer’s daughter.” Barack Obama replies, “She’s not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American dream.” A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Barack Obama replies, “His jockey just lost his health insurance, which should be the right of all Americans.” Advertisement A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Barack Obama says, “This joke isn’t going to work because there’s no Muslim in this boat.” Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.” © 2008 Creators Syndicate  Previous item: Dramatic Return for the Living and the Dead Next item: Closing the Book on a Proud Tradition New and Improved CommentsIf you have trouble leaving a comment, review this help page. Still having problems? Let us know. If you find yourself moderated, take a moment to review our comment policy. |
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By Shawnabcdefg, January 30, 2011 at 11:45 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Ahahahaa, the last one made me laugh.
Report thisBy Hillary Kitten, August 9, 2008 at 10:48 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
1. If you have ever chuckled at his middle name, you may be guilty of racist jokes about Obama.
2. If you ever ridiculed the assertion that tire gauges lower gas prices, you may be guilty of racist jokes about Obama.
3. If you ever laughed at the claim that he campaigned in 57 states, you may be guilty of racist jokes about Obama.
4. If you ever suggested that the “Vero Possemus” campaign signs had something to do with possums, you may be guilty of racist jokes about Obama.
Report thisBy Louise, July 22, 2008 at 12:18 pm Link to this comment
Noted Satirist Andy Borowitz has discovered that certain folks cant understand satirical humor. So he has decided to make those folks the object of his satire.
In his recent satire titled, “5 Approved Obama Jokes,” Andy creates un-funny jokes by citing those “certain” folks typical un-funny responses to his usually funny stuff, as part of the “joke.”
And what’s the funniest thing coming out of his obviously making fun of those folks unable to understand funny?
They still don’t get it!
So the joke really is on them.
Great job Andy!
Report thisBy wardad, July 22, 2008 at 3:37 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Yes, Mike, death is the only certainty but unfortunately for you, not “everything else is an opinion.” See there are these things called objective facts. You are aware of the term “objective”, no doubt? They are established, incontrovertible facts, or if you like, data that can not be disputed. Certainly one might draw various conclusions from that data set and form their own “opinion”, as you say. Just so you are not confused on this let me also state categorically that not all opinions are sound opinions. That is, some people’s reasoning and/or intellectual processing ability precludes them from drawing defensible or accurate opinions from the data set. Some have been known to reject facts that tend to or even overtly contradicted their predetermined, or better said, prejudiced “opinions.” So sadly for your point of view on the matter, some “opinions” are just flat wrong.
Let’s take Obama’s religion as an example, shall we.
FACT: His mother registered him in an Indonesian school as a Muslim. In this instance the CHILD was under the care and direction of his NON-Muslim mother and could not have had any say in the matter of his faith structure.
Report thisFACT: The GROWN man himself joined a Christian church, was baptized, and married a Christian woman, in a Christian church, in a Christian ceremony, directed by a Christian pastor, and the result of that union wee two Christian children. Then , when one looks at his politics and pre-politics work, one clearly sees the fruits of Christ’s teachings.
ERGO: Obama is a Christian.
FACT: Per the United States Constitution: Article. VI. - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths, “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”
ERGO: It doesn’t f*cking matter.
By mike112769, July 21, 2008 at 5:06 pm Link to this comment
Ed: You got me there. I only look this site over on my lunch break at work. I missed the tag, my bad. I do think he’s a muslim though. It’s hard to escape your upbringing. In regards to your calling me names: do you feel better for doing it? Make you feel like you’ve done something constructive? I really admire the way people here get along. If you don’t agree with someone, why they must be stupid! People like you are so sure of themselves it’s funny. The ONLY certainty in this world is death. Anything else is just an opinion.
Report thisBy Brian Snedeker, July 21, 2008 at 11:58 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Andy Borowitz is (was) a film actor? Since when?
Report thisBy Ed Harges, July 21, 2008 at 11:56 am Link to this comment
Regarding “By mike112769, July 20 at 8:57 pm”:
My God, people like Mike are the problem with America. The link to the story on the main page says “Satire by Andy Borowitz”, and at the top of this page the article is plainly labeled “Humor”. And the content alone is blatantly satirical, no label required. The stupidity epitomized by Mike is what has doomed America. And of course it’s the certified idiot Mike who adds, thinking himself very clever, “Im fairly certain that there IS a muslim in the boat!”
Report thisBy lawlessone, July 21, 2008 at 11:05 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
We’ve had a joke for a president for eight years. The joke’ll be on us if we don’t elect someone other than a Republican president this time around.
Have we forgotten that McCain jokes about “Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb Iran.”? Assuming of course, that really was a joke in his mind.
Report thisBy Paul Langer, July 21, 2008 at 8:40 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Please see my video comments at:
http://FreeGabMail.com/AV/Viewer.html?SID=OtzA6v1Apv3z9CQZ
Report thisBy ib, July 21, 2008 at 7:55 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
It appears that everyone is afraid of being branded a racist if they make a joke at Obama’s expense
Report thisBy webbedouin, July 21, 2008 at 7:50 am Link to this comment
“Change you can believe in!”
Now there’s a joke…
Report thisBy necrolugosi, July 21, 2008 at 7:32 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
mike112769 are you for real? The content should have tiped you off but just incase there is also the humor tag at the top.
Report thisBy tp, July 21, 2008 at 6:18 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Ha ha ha. with larger font>(Ha ha ha) and with an even larger font>(Ha ha ha).
wingding font >(aa) on both sides of tp (that’s me)
Report thisBy mike112769, July 20, 2008 at 9:57 pm Link to this comment
Is this for real? If so, it’s pretty pathetic. All the real problems he could be focusing on, and he wastes his time on tripe like this. Typical politician.
As for the last joke, I’m fairly certain that there IS a muslim in the boat!
Report thisBy Maani, July 20, 2008 at 9:04 pm Link to this comment
That last one is a winner! LOL.
Report this