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June 18, 2013
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A Revolutionary CampaignPosted on Jun 22, 2008Republican presidential nominee John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to “all 13 colonies.” At a campaign stop in the Dominion of Virginia, Sen. McCain said that if his Democratic opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, takes any of the 13 colonies for granted, “he doth so at his peril.” Sen. McCain made his remarks in the Dominion of Virginia, which many McCain advisers concede will be a key colony in the fall election. But in announcing his 13-colony strategy, Sen. McCain appeared to give notice that he intends to contest such traditional Democratic strongholds as the Province of Massachusetts Bay. The Republican nominee gave his audience a sneak preview of the fall campaign by introducing what he clearly believes to be the dominant issue of the 2008 election: the high cost of tea. “The American people cannot and should not tolerate the exorbitant prices they are paying for tea,” Sen. McCain said, adding that in some states tea had risen to as high as four dollars a gallon. He said that as president he would propose a number of measures to provide relief to tea consumers, including a “tea-tax holiday,” and that he would crack down on the big tea companies: “It’s time for their tea party to end.” Advertisement “We will use the telegraph key, the carrier pigeon, and the pony,” he said. © 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc. New and Improved CommentsIf you have trouble leaving a comment, review this help page. Still having problems? Let us know. If you find yourself moderated, take a moment to review our comment policy. |
By cann4ing, June 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm Link to this comment
Yes, Alan, and the name of the van McCain boarded was the Doublespeak Express.
Report thisBy cyrena, June 23, 2008 at 10:04 pm Link to this comment
A barbecue for “George and the boys” eh? You guys have me on a giggle roll today.
Meantime, maybe Barack Obama doesn’t much like barbecue. Maybe he doesn’t think it’s appropriate to have a Tennessee barbecue hoe down, when folks are dying all over the place, some in obvious wars of aggression, and others due to total neglect.
Maybe Obama had real work to do.
Report thisBy awkwardvibes, June 23, 2008 at 8:06 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
Is there a “Not Humerous” section? This would be better suited there. Really. Very bad. Extremely unfunny. Sad, really.
Report thisBy Alan, June 23, 2008 at 4:21 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
23 June 2008
17:08 h.
(Dissociated Press Dispatch)
John McCain today denounced his spokesman’s
Report thisendorsement of dubious and dangerous acts
but failed to castigate the coming publication
of Swift-Boat-II the sequel. (Reign-ery Press and
the Notional Review 2008) McCain , drooling slightly in the hot (it’s dry heat) Aridzona air
waved to a small gathering as he boarded his
campaign van.
By cann4ing, June 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm Link to this comment
And what conveyance, dare I ask, will McCain use to cross the Deleware?
Report thisBy troublesum, June 23, 2008 at 12:49 pm Link to this comment
“What did McCain do when he visited the troops at Valley Forge?” He had a barbeque for George and the boys but Obama never showed his face.
Report thisBy Thomas Billis, June 23, 2008 at 8:22 am Link to this comment
McCain expressed remorse that his contemporaries Ben Franklin and John Adams did not live long enough to see his run for Presidency.
Report thisBy Purple Girl, June 23, 2008 at 5:21 am Link to this comment
Let’s be honest- the guy crashed a plane- so injuries are bound to be massive- the scare, the phyical limitations. But how much of his infirmities are truely related to being ‘tortured’?
Report thisHe was offered up for release- so the N.Vietnamese KNEW who he was and KNEW who his daddy was. did they offferr to release anyone else? Knowing this Why would they provoke further agression by Torturing Him and not those who were unknowns and Not Connected to top Brass? consider the fervor that occurs when a Cop is killed as opposed to an average citizen. The Force is out for revenge- so would the continued abuse on an big Wigs kid?
Knowing that they Knew Who he Was, How much fear would Mac have of being further mistreated, he was guaranteed a safe return. Far more likely then his Unknown fellow POWS.
so really how much more did Mac Sacrific than any other Vietnam vet or POW.Esp since he was given the opportunity to fly above the fray and never have to spend nights in the water logged Jungle in a Hole? Never had to wonder if they woman appraoching was wired with explosive, Never had to watch for Trip wires… Mac seems to place his service and sacrific above & beyond the call of duty- far above those in the trenches (real continuous imminent danger) and those who lost thieir lives as a result of it.
Mac Service was commendable- but Not as Heroic as all those others. so if there is a line for Valor- Mac should be holding the Door for all the rest.
By cyrena, June 22, 2008 at 11:21 pm Link to this comment
By troublesum, June 22 at 7:09 pm #
At least McCain has been to Valley Forge to visit the troops which is more than can be said for Obama
Oh troublesum bert,
You never let us down. This is too funny. Valley Forge, eh? So, (and this is the BIG question)..What did McSame DO when he visited the troops at Valley Forge? (we need to know, since this is more than can be said for Obama).
Do you think he made any attempt to explain to them why he is opposed to the Veterans Benefits legislation sponsored by Jim Webb, and enthusiastically supported by the entire House of Congress, (not to mention Senator Obama)?
Do you think when McSame was visiting, that he told them that good for nothing Obama was stirring up all kinds of trouble and extra expense demanding that Veterans (specifically those retuning from Iraq and Afghanistan now) get the RIGHT diagnosis and RIGHT treatment and compensation for their injuries. Yeah, the McSame damn sure isnt on the side of the troops on that issue. (or ANY OTHER). The Bush McSames have found a way to avoid paying for or providing any treatment for wounded vets. They have a set up just like the HMOS and all of the other crooks of the Insurance/Health Care Industry. (Since theyre all the same).
It goes like this The current thugs just make sure that the injured troops are consistently under diagnosed or not diagnosed at all. The troops are half dead, limbs hanging off, skeletal systems battered to bits, but more than anything traumatized out of their minds. Now this has led to an unprecedented number of suicides among the troops. (gotta dig a little for that information). Now Obama has done the work to first investigate it to find out what the hell was going on, and then get it fixed. Yes, yes troublesum, I know it took him awhile to get to it. What can I say? Hes just one out of 100 Senators, so if hes the only one doing anything, (and hes not even on the Senate Armed Services Committee but I think Hillary Clinton is though. Unless shes on a sabbatical or something) then it just takes a while to get to everything.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that all of this corruption is just like all of the rest from the past 8 years. Folks dont necessarily KNOW how jacked-up things are for the troops over there, or the troops that have returned, and are then sent back, and its pretty much outside of the public eye, because of course they keep all of that stuff secret. Its just like when the troops return to us in boxes. That happens under the shadow of darkness, at a deserted base, in the middle of the night, and no media or anyone else is allowed to see it. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.
But, Barack reads a lot, and hes been spending a considerable amount of time with troops these past few months, so thats how he became aware of how fed-up the troops were being processed and so he addressed the issue, and has ordered some serious rearranging of the process. How quickly that happens under the current criminal regime remains to be seen.
But, maybe now hell have time to visit the troops at Valley Forge. I know thats wayyy more important than all of this other stuff hes been working on, to benefit ALL of them.
Report thisBy troublesum, June 22, 2008 at 8:09 pm Link to this comment
At least McCain has been to Valley Forge to visit the troops which is more than can be said for Obama.
Report thisBy tyler, June 22, 2008 at 7:03 pm Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)
lets be real for a second psmealey, if this site weren’t free you wouldn’t be on it in the first place. lighten up buddy.
Report thisBy psmealey, June 22, 2008 at 5:01 pm Link to this comment
Good thing Borowitz’s column is marked as humor, because… well, actually it’s not really a good thing at all. It’s false advertising.
If this site weren’t free, I’d be demanding my money back.
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