LOGO: Truthdig: Drilling Beneath the Headlines. A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.  
 
January 7, 2009
Log in / Register

 Choose a size
Text Size

Most Read

Blagojevich vs. the Senate

Navel-Gazing in the Grand Old Party

Yukking It Up at the Blago Show

Israeli Voices for Peace

Gauging Obama’s Silence on Gaza

Most Comments
Most Emailed

Reports

Ear to the Ground

A/V Booth

Arts & Culture
Tragedy Repeats Itself

Digs
Financial Meltdown 101
Vetting Sarah Palin

Truthdig Bazaar
Hard Road West

Hard Road West

By Keith Heyer Meldahl
$16.50

ENTER_ALT_TEXT

A Search for the King

by Gore Vidal
Very Fine, Collector's Copy $60 SOLD OUT

more items

 
Reports

Fighting Until the End, and Then Some

Email this item Email    Print this item Print   
Posted on May 25, 2008

By Andy Borowitz

Just moments after former presidential candidate John Edwards endorsed Sen. Barack Obama for president, Sen. Hillary Clinton vowed to “continue the fight” for Edwards’ endorsement.

“My friends, I will fight for the endorsement of John Edwards, even if it takes all summer,” she told supporters in Louisville, Ky. “I have not begun to fight for this endorsement!”

The New York Democrat appeared to brush off Edwards’ endorsement of Obama, saying, “I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”

While Clinton acknowledged that Edwards had made a joint appearance with Obama in which he endorsed the Illinois senator, she said, “If you think that’s going to make me give up trying to get John Edwards’ endorsement, you’ve got another think coming.”

She said that she was also “unconcerned” that Edwards had recently gotten a new phone number and not shared it with her.

“Anyone who believes that I’m going to be deterred by an obstacle like that doesn’t know what I’m made of,” she said. “Mark my words, I am going to get that endorsement.”

Clinton detailed her increasingly improbable path to the nomination, saying that it involved seating the delegations from Michigan and Florida, as well as counting the votes of “my imaginary friends.”

“My imaginary friends may be imaginary to Sen. Obama, but they are very real to me,” she said.

Clinton’s aides would not comment on her speech, saying they were too busy looking for new jobs.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2008 Creators Syndicate

Get truth delivered to
your inbox every week.

Previous item: Torturing Iron Man

Next item: Progressive Patriotism

Jump to Comments

Advertisement


Elsewhere: .

Comments

Are you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig.

By Louise, May 28, 2008 at 7:50 pm #

It is to funny, you silly thing. Maybe you need a class in laugh therapy!

[Or let someone tickle you wink]

Report this

By Reaper, May 28, 2008 at 5:14 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Borowitz, You know this isn’t the Onion right. Not even remotely funny.

Report this

By cyrena, May 27, 2008 at 9:29 am #

OK Louise, you’re gonna put Andy out of a job! This is hilarious! smile

The black muslim with the White, working, middle class (no degrees) CHRISTIAN parents just really did it!

Oh my…I can’t stop laughing.

Report this

By Louise, May 27, 2008 at 8:55 am #

According to former Clinton campaign chair Terry MacAuliffe, Clinton has seen the need for a clean sweep and has asked all of her aides to find another campaign to work for.

“I simply can not continue on in my determination to save America from itself without the unquestioning loyalty of my staff.” She said. Adding, “For that reason I have decided to replace them all!”

MacAuliffe explained Hillary is now actively recruiting among the young and uncommitted students at local Christian and Muslim academies.

Her new campaign chair, Tina Twiddle-Wink, a black Muslim with White, working, middle class [without college degrees] Christian parents confirmed McAuliffe’s statement, saying she was excited at the prospect of interviewing fresh new kids full of hope.

“I think we all agree we need change,” she said. “For starters, we need to get these kids registered to vote!”

Meanwhile, Bill has decided to go surfing. “Something I’ve always wanted to do.” he said. “Who knows, I may be good at it, and that’ll give me something to do for the next month or so.”

Report this

By louis stroud, May 27, 2008 at 6:26 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

i remember hillary saying, she’ll do what it takes to win the nomination, that is the only truth i can remember her saying. we hve had almost 8 years of that kink of politics, i don’t’ want anymore, our country can’t take amymore, we must have someone that is hnest, and will do what is right for our country, no buick rear-ends for me.

louie-louie

Report this

By Purple Girl, May 27, 2008 at 5:56 am #

If you had asked me in ‘02 about being outraged an ddisgused by Hilary when she ran for Presidnet- I’d say you were crazy. I voted for Bill Twice- was an avid supporter & defender of Both throught out the ‘90’s.she was gonna Be ‘My girl’
I am SOOO gald she did not run in’04- I would have forgiven her Iraq Vote and voted for Her. Now I see she is CHENEY’S GIRL.She couldn’t have competed against her Own Mentor!
It has become VERY apparent the ENTIRE Neo CON Brigades and it’s tactics have been pulled out for Her. She reeks of Initiation and Indoctrination to this Criminal Organization. I don’t just HATE HER NOW_ I FEAR HER, she causes the same ‘skin crawl’ Cheney invokes everytime I see him ( from the moment he first slithered out of the ‘Shadows’) “Obliterate Iran with Nukes to defend not just Isreal 9who has their own) BUT ALSO the Saudi’s (9/11 highjackers homeland) and the UAE (oppressive Caste system, Money launderers) NOTE HILL, IRAN DOES NOT HAVE NUKES YET EITHER!!!!They are not a National Security Threat - SHE IS!(same as Mac!)

Report this

By Thomas Billis, May 26, 2008 at 5:19 pm #

Hillary in a related story showed the math that leads her to beleive she is leading in the popular vote.There is the 100 thousand of her supportors in Chile.The votes are still being counted in Slovenia and if everything goes well she should a huge plurality in most of the countries that make up the old Yugoslavia.She added that to be the leader of the free world all the votes should be counted in the free world.

Report this

By JOHNDICKERSON, May 26, 2008 at 11:59 am #

An actress playing the role of an imagined Hillary Clinton revisiting the final scene, suggesting that Clinton’s self possessed behaviour and refusal to accept reality is similar to that evidenced by Gloria Swanson playing the role of Norma Desmond in the classic film “Sunset Boulevard”.

VIDEO- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWaL1XnUPN0

Report this

By JimmiBoi, May 26, 2008 at 8:56 am #

Hillary hired the wrong people and stayed with them for too long. She spent more than she took in. She tried to fire a journalist who used a bad word in describing Chelsea. She blames conspiracies for her troubles and will say anything to get your vote. This tells you exactly what sort of president she would be. Compare these facts against her rivals ...

Report this

By Leefeller, May 26, 2008 at 6:59 am #

Hillary really did not need Edwards endorsement after all, it turned out to be insignificant like the Richards endorsement.  Hillary only gets the big states that count and the big endorsements that really count. 

Hold your breath until you turn blue Hillary.

Report this

By cyrena, May 25, 2008 at 8:17 pm #

This is too good…especially those imaginary friends that are so very real to Hillary.

Wonder if they’ll be acknowledged at the voting booths to do some write-ins.

Report this

Add Your Comment

Posts by unregistered readers are moderated. Posts by members
are published immediately. Why wait? Register today!






Notify you when others comment on this article?


Are you a human?
Retype the word you see here.


Please read and abide by our comment policy.
By submitting this comment, you agree to this site's terms and conditions.

 
Season's Greetings From Truthdig
 

 
Join the Liberal Blog Advertising Network
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.
Copyright © 2009 Truthdig, L.L.C. All rights reserved.