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The Other Man

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Posted on May 18, 2008

By Andy Borowitz

In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, former President Bill Clinton today became the latest superdelegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama.

Sources close to the former president said that Mr. Clinton had been mulling such a defection for weeks, as early as the night of the Iowa primary, but that he only decided to make his decision public today.

“The American people want change,” Mr. Clinton said at a press conference in New York. “Lord knows I do.”

The former president said that “sometimes, at the end of a race, you have to put an old horse down,” adding, “I’m not speaking metaphorically.”

Mr. Clinton fueled speculation that he was seeking a role in an Obama administration, saying, “I know my way around the Oval Office, and I know how the super-secret double lock works.”

The former president said he would relish a return to the White House, calling his tenure there “good times.”

For her part, Sen. Clinton said that the defection of her husband would not deter her from staying in the race, adding, “To my knowledge, he’s the only white voter Sen. Obama has.”

The New York senator denied that she was playing the race card, arguing, “Every other member of my family is supporting me and, by the way, they’re white.”

Elsewhere, a defiant John McCain said his wife would not release her tax returns, “and neither will my girlfriend.”

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.

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By Della, May 21 at 7:04 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

The article should have been printed on toilet paper ;then it would have served some useful purpose.IMO

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By Winifred, May 21 at 4:25 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I acknowledge that the piece was clever, but to me true humor is not mean and demeaning, but involves an element of empathy, a recognition that we all can be fallible and ridiculous.
The bit about “putting down an old horse” is just an outcropping of the gender bias that’s been boiling under the surface all during this campaign. Why not bring it out in the open now that the ubiquitous self-fulfilling prophecies have brought down the woman who dared defy the most persistent and universal of human injustices...the subordination of women?

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By psmealey, May 20 at 4:58 am #

“Satire” is only satire when it’s clever, prescient or reveals something about a topic that was hidden from plain view.

Unfortunately, your writing consistently fails to fulfill any of these requirements.  Don’t give up your morning spot on CNN.

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By Thomas Billis, May 19 at 11:11 pm #

Bad as the news of Bill Clinton’s defection it pales to the news that Chelsea Clinton will be campaigning for Barak Obama.Chelsea when questioned answered"I know her from the inside out and Barak is just better.”
In another story Bush asked what appeasement meant directed reporters to a dictionary that defines appeasement as his grandfather Prescott Bush.

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By JOHNDICKERSON, May 19 at 7:27 pm #

One of these days you will get your much deserved comeuppance!

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By Louise, May 19 at 7:15 am #

Thanks for starting my Monday with a good laugh Andy!
smile

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