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 Olympic Hide and SeekPosted on Apr 20, 2008Fearful about the prospect of human-rights protesters ruining the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China today announced a plan to move the summer games to a remote location where no one can find them. A spokesman for the Chinese Ministry of Sport, Wu Qingxiu, said that the plan to move the Olympics to an undisclosed location has “advanced from the planning stage into the doing stage.” The reasoning behind the move was simple, Wu told reporters: “You cannot protest what you cannot find.” While rumors swirled about where the Olympics might be relocated, the Chinese official said that all such speculation is futile: “China is a very large country, and if you want to hide the Olympics, it is a very easy thing to do.” In order to keep the new location a secret, Wu revealed that China had not even disclosed it to NBC, who has a contract to televise the 2008 summer games. Advertisement Wu took exception to Mr. Zucker’s comment about no one watching the Olympics, responding, “That sounds like a typical NBC show to me.” On the campaign trail, Sen. Hillary Clinton blasted China’s human rights record, telling an audience in Pittsburgh, “I have always fought for human rights in China, which is why I risked my life in Tiananmen Square.” Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.” © 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc. Previous item: ABC's Philadelphia Story: Punditry Over Politics Next item: The Left Has Lost Its Way Elsewhere: . CommentsAre you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig. Add Your Comment
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By Lester Ness, May 13, 2008 at 7:56 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Nino,
China has lots of problems which could use some rational criticism, but evidently Truthdig is not the place to find it. If you were to come, teach English, in China, as I have, you’d find the people are not barbarous, neither individually nor as a collectivity. Daily life here is not worse than anywhere else, and in some respects, better than in the USA.
Lester Ness
Report thisKunming
China
By Lester Ness, May 13, 2008 at 7:50 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Total crap. I’m not a big of the modern Olympics, and wish they had only the events of the originals (all athletes naked and barefoot, of course), but the authorities in Beijing will certainly have the games in Beijing.
Lester Ness
Report thisBy Deborah, April 21, 2008 at 7:25 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
I thought the comment about a “typical NBC show” was a brutal but great slam and then I read the closer about Clinton in Tiananmen Square and realized this was supposed to be funny.
no giggles, minor amusement
Report thisI give it 4 out of 5
By Purple Girl, April 21, 2008 at 6:58 am #
That’s what happens when you start blogging too early in the AM- but then again Knowing China, and Hillary it took me a minute- a few other comments to convince myself it Was Not true- LOL. My first hint was the Hillary ‘response’ - first thought jesus she’s lying again.
Report thisShouldn’t start blogging before I get through my first cup of coffee in the AM.
Unfortunatley, You may have given both a ‘great idea’
By DennisD, April 21, 2008 at 1:45 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
“China today announced a plan to move the summer games to a remote location where no one can find them”
I guess this means they’ll put the summer games in the U.S. Congress where no one can find accountability for anything.
Report thisBy cyrena, April 21, 2008 at 12:54 am #
“...bussed in blindfolded!” I love it.
Better watch it Louise, you might put Andy out of a job.
This is too funny…
Report thisBy Nino, April 21, 2008 at 12:04 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Why would any civilized nation want to send their athletes to such a backward cruel nation like China anyway..they have sent us foodstuffs that are not healthy..toys for our tiny tots that are not healthy and their treatment of Christians is also..not healthy!!! I guess its busines as usual..
Report thisBy Louise, April 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm #
This just in:
Wu Qingxiu, spokesman for the Chinese Ministry of Sport, has just announced one network has been given notice of the new location for the 2008 summer Olympics. “We recognize The Olympic Committee is under contractual agreement with NBC, but we have determined NBC has given an inordinate amount of coverage to the protests, with little coverage of Chinas position, which can only complicate our efforts to keep the location secret. Therefore we have decided to inform CBC where the games will be held, assuring coverage for all cable customers. Besides CBC does a much better job and there are not near as many commercial breaks.”
He further went on to explain how participants in the games will be flown to an undisclosed location and then bussed in blindfolded. “We are still in negotiations with the Olympic Committee to determine the best way for them to participate and give out the medals.” He added.
Report this