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 Bush Stands Firm on EnvironmentPosted on Mar 30, 2008President George W. Bush confirmed today that his gutting of the Endangered Species Act is part of a broader plan to phase out the environment entirely by the time he leaves office in January 2009. “In addition to cutting taxes, it has been the goal of this administration to cut our wasteful, bloated environment,” Mr. Bush said in a speech before the Association of Indiscriminate Applauders in Washington, D.C. In his speech, Mr. Bush added that the EPA would henceforth be renamed the Environmental Prevention Agency. The president said that by removing endangered species from the protected list one by one, his administration has been able to phase out the environment gradually “so that hardly anyone will notice it’s missing.” But the president warned that “much work remains to be done” if the environment is to be completely phased out by the first quarter of next year and called for the accelerated extinction of all superfluous organisms by the end of fiscal 2008. “It is time for all Americans to take sides,” Mr. Bush said. “Are you with us, or are you with the black-tailed prairie dog?” Mr. Bush’s plan also calls for a gradual reduction of air and water, with water most likely to get the ax. “If it comes down to choosing between air and water, the president will probably scrap water,” said Environmental Prevention Agency chief Stephen L. Johnson. “After all, most Iraqis have been without water since 2003, and look how well they’re doing.” Elsewhere, after Pope Benedict XVI prayed for peace on Easter Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney requested equal time for war. Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.” © 2008 Creators Syndicate TAGS:
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Jump to Comments
By DAveKnTux, June 19 at 6:46 am #
LOL good humour this is pretty much Bush’s entire policy on global warming and the environment. The last 3months of Bush’s administration saw him single handedly reversed hundreds of environmental policies for his corporate buddies
Report thisBy purplewolf, April 4, 2008 at 12:41 am #
Let us all pray, even if you are not into religion much, that G.W. takes his “FIRM” stand upon quicksand. The quicker, the better. This would make an excellent choice for the extinction list, as well as improving the environment at the same time.
Report thisBy peter pintacura, April 2, 2008 at 1:10 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
the subtlety of satire is a thin line wherein one can be amused by the exaggeration of a truth - unfortunately, this really is so close to the truth, it’s not funny…at least to me. just sad.
Report thisBy hippy pam, April 1, 2008 at 8:49 am #
Hey-Hey WOLF….If HIS IMPERIAL HIGH*SS EMPEROR BU**
Report thisSH*T were to MOVE TO IRAQ…AND RUN THEIR GOVERNMENT
FOR A YEAR OR SO[however long HE lasted]....I BET THE WAR WOULD END!!!!!!!After all..He has F**KED UP
EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER GOT HIS STUPID SELF INVOLVED
IN…THE MAN SHOULD BE TRIED FOR WAR CRIMES-MURDER-
GUTTING THE FINANCES OF A ONCE GREAT COUNTRY-ecc.etc.etc…..
By msgmi, March 31, 2008 at 9:03 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
What God has created let no man put asunder. Biblical words for the faithful? This administration should go down in history as the BUTCHERS OF THE ENVIRONMENT. If this administration ruled in the 1880’s, the buffalo, for one species, would have been expunged from the earth and only remembered in a photo-shoot.
Report thisBy srelf, March 31, 2008 at 6:28 pm #
I mean really, what a nut and nutty crew he leads!
Report thisLook at “how well they are doing” in Iraq without water! Go take a flying leap Mr. Johnson! And do it while holding all your friends hands!
By purplewolf, March 31, 2008 at 1:59 pm #
There is a sad truth to this article about the Endangered Species Act that this administration has been eroding away since his unfortunate term began in 2001. I have sponsored many of the recovery programs that have been erased by the depraved indifference that G.W. has shown toward a large number of species that were brought back from the brink of extinction and are only now reaching levels that might, but not necessarily guarantee, the continuation of a species. Some of these specie levels, according to the lack of educated people G.W. has put in control of many of these departments, have more than enough to insure continued survival when they have reached the number of 400, yet once they have reached that level in many cases, laws have been enacted to immediately kill off these very same creatures that have been rescued. This is only a small part that has been leaked about how this administration has destroyed almost every living thing.
If this wasn’t so ironic and I realize this is satire, it would come as no surprise that G.W. was in reality, well on his way to eliminating everything needed for survival to the majority of the planet. That way only the elite will have enough for them and only them.
Me, I will side with the black-tailed prairie dog over the Bush administration.
Report thisBy Ivan Hentschel, March 31, 2008 at 12:40 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
At least he has the decency to leave complete devastation in his wake.I’m so used to his’ doing a halfa**ed job.
Report thisBy Louise, March 31, 2008 at 10:36 am #
Bush Stands Firm on Environment!
Well that’s good to know!
I mean good to know Bush can stand on anything! Particularly his raft of failures bound together with that tissue of lies, floating next to the sinking ship of fools! Now that’s got to be shaky! Especially for someone who’s always off balance!
But the best line in this bit of humor was the last one.
]
[One-liners always are the best.
“Elsewhere, after Pope Benedict XVI prayed for peace on Easter Sunday, Vice President Dick Cheney requested equal time for war.”
However, when the media examined the record they realized they actually owed the Pope more time, since Cheney has sung the praises of war on a daily basis for more than seven years.
Report thisBy Douglas Chalmers, March 31, 2008 at 8:27 am #
This was a REAL joke…... In your face, Bush!
On his first visit to the White House as prime minister, Australia’s Kevin Rudd got into a contest with US President George W Bush about whose was bigger - home states, that is…...
The patriotic Queenslander was designating the equally proud Texan an honorary member of the “sunshine state” after receiving a warm and gracious welcome to the White House.
But there was an awkward pause and much mirth when Mr Rudd proclaimed: “I come from the great state of Queensland. It may surprise you that it’s bigger than Texas.”
With a deadpan delivery, Mr Bush responded: “Yeah?”
He then asked Mr Rudd: “Can you recover nicely?”
To which the Australian replied: “The recovery point is this: Queenslanders and Texans have a lot in common and they get on well.”
The “jovial” rivalry over land mass was one of many lighter moments as Mr Rudd made his debut on the world stage… http://www.stuff.co.nz/4456886a12.html
Report thisBy cyrena, March 31, 2008 at 1:57 am #
I love “The Association of Indiscriminate Applauders” part.
Is this the same association that got us into this mess, and has kept us here?
Report this