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Reports

Monster Community Weighs In on Campaign Controversy

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Posted on Mar 16, 2008

By Andy Borowitz

An Obama campaign aide’s remarks, in which she called Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., a “monster,” have ignited a firestorm of controversy among monsters across the U.S., prominent monsters confirmed today.

Calling Hillary Clinton a monster is “odious and offensive to monsters everywhere,” said Tracy Klujian, the executive director of the Monster Anti-Defamation League, a group that monitors unflattering portrayals of monsters and miscreants in the media.

“As monsters, we are subject to defamation and stereotyping on a daily basis,” Mr. Klujian said. “But being lumped together with Hillary Clinton is really a low blow.”

Mr. Klujian said that he was pleased that the Obama aide had resigned over the “monster” remark but said that “more work will need to be done” if the Illinois senator is to mend fences with the monster community.

“We monsters count for as much as 5 percent of the vote in Pennsylvania,” Mr. Klujian said. “And that number is even higher in Pittsburgh.”

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Perhaps in an effort to steer clear of the controversy, in an upcoming interview on “Sixty Minutes” Sen. Clinton herself dodged the issue of whether or not Sen. Obama is a monster.

“He’s not a monster as far as I know,” she told Steve Kroft in an interview to air this Sunday. “I mean, I take him on the basis of what he says, and, you know, if he says he’s not a monster, there isn’t any reason to doubt that.”

Elsewhere, Rep. Ron Paul said that he is dropping out of the GOP race but would continue to run for president of Earth II.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.

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By omop, March 19, 2008 at 11:06 am #

According to some of Paula’s best friends and Gennifer’s acquaintences their introduction to the word “monster’ occured during a tense moment in the arms of Slick Willie who in the process of uncuffling his shirt blurted out, “that monster doesn’t know what she is missing”.

Several months later a young Monica confided to a female friend that she had heard the word ” Rahab” while initimate with Bill but at that time he had already immersed himself in learning a foreign language and wanted to impress.

so there.

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By Belinda, March 18, 2008 at 11:17 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Gomerspile, You’re not only kind but best of breed.

Now, about that tiny peeper you’re hoisting..

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By amunaor, March 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm #

The vested interests, the gang of ‘Experience as Usual’, intent on character assassination, the cheapest media ammunition available, has always been to fire off salvos of xenophobic images, with words and voice-overs that easily grip the public mind with terror; they know what buttons to push.

The entertainment news media, being what it is, sensing blood, relishes itself in the feeding frenzy, in some cases, could care less if the victim were innocent or guilty, so long as triggering the baser – animus, pushing the correct buttons, obtains the desired outcome. The gathering viewership, curious of the frenzy, becomes subconscious participants to the incendiary nature of message itself. A good courtroom metaphor is the judge demanding the jury strike the mental impression left by a spuriously hurled remark; once delivered, the intended barb has already done its damage.

Obviously, the ‘Business as Usual’ cabal, continue proving their mental faculties to be barren and void of any philosophical landscape. In the throws of desperation, they find it once again necessary to play dark, ‘shock and awe’ psychological tricks in effort to diminish the credibility of a well intentioned soul.

Obama’s meteoric rise has been a benevolent movement from the bottom up and its massive crescendo, obliviously swelling to unexpected heights, to some minds, causes those now biting their fingernails to concern over the fact that, possibly, their girl Hillary may slip on the stage. How deep into the gutter are these miscreants of desperation willing to stoop in effort to steal the lofty heights? We sit and watch as they unmask themselves and fall to the ground.

A necessary re-visitation to the nefarious war, illicitly contrived, so reviled, equated to a failing economy, the resulting manifestations of a greed driven Corporate Government, could wipe the ‘Experience as Usual’ smirk from both the faces of Hillary and Mad-Bomber Johnny; whom, as we all know by now, Hillary loves more than she loves her own, whose arrogant presumption to ‘entitlement’ is willing to destroy the village in order to save it.

Peace, Best Wishes and Hope

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By GW=MCHammered, March 16, 2008 at 7:39 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I wish the Monster Community would Weigh In on Campaign Controversy and more. You know, the Silent Monster Majority that just keeps telling itself “This will all work out,” and “I’m doing what I’m supposed to, this doesn’t effect me.”

Your rigged economy is falling in around you. Sound democratic boundaries between leaders, corporations, banks and nations are dissolving.

It’s time for the Monster Majority to be heard or pay the devastating price for decades to come. ROAR for chrissakes!

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By Purple Girl, March 16, 2008 at 6:55 pm #

I often hear people discussing the Reptilian race- they claim it’s seen in their eyes . I beg to differ, as a person who has a stripe in my rt eye, I prefer to be associated with the Cat species. Reptiles are far more Monsterous than Cats- I’ll have to take a better look at Hill’s eyes- they could be right. Of course she could be since she has devoured Bill’s legacy in one giant gulp (3am- He had better have been the one answering that phone in the’90’s (we did not elect her as Co Pres, otherwise he’s back in trouble again)

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By Purple Girl, March 16, 2008 at 6:48 pm #

As a Daily Huff Po reader- and blogger I agree I have a numerous problems posting comments- they have an interesting New comment page which leads you comment to no where. Try to re submit- and it says it’s a ‘duplicate’ . but I hate to tell you I’m one of those Liberal Bloggers (same name Used on HuffPo)
So as a ‘lefty ’ I must say so sad for you (but it doesn’t just happen to Non Obama types)
As for Hillary a Monster…WEll that ‘s a nicer word than I would use. Lokk at her voting Record, see how well our Armed servcies have been run over the last few yrs. then get back to me. Obama was not my first choice, or even my second. but he is now the only choice for the chance for change (I voted for bill 2x’s- avid supporter & defender,even Mondale/ Ferraro in ‘84, - I’m a life long Dem, and she is No Dem and has shown serious errors in her judgement (if you haven’t guessed I’m also a female)

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By The Big Raven, March 16, 2008 at 2:40 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Monsters do not all agree with you they wellcome the more ugly types like clinton

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By Leefeller, March 16, 2008 at 10:54 am #

It is fun to see the lighter side of stupidity and how far it really was.

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By DennisD, March 16, 2008 at 10:35 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

“Elsewhere, Rep. Ron Paul said that he is dropping out of the GOP race but would continue to run for president of Earth II.”

Earth I could use the upgrade but can’t handle it. I’ll see you at Earth II, you know the one in the real world that most people avoid.

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By kevin99999, March 16, 2008 at 10:34 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

One more thing…I am also getting sick of Truthdigg’s editorial approval of my comments…As far as I am concerned they can take a hike.

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By kevin99999, March 16, 2008 at 10:17 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

May be Andy has a legion of fans but I am not one of them. I find his posts to be juvenile without substance or humor. If you are looking for so called ‘monsters’ the term may also apply to liberals blogs like the HuffPost who not only have become a de facto extension of Obama campaign and consistently create fake story lines in a shameful manner and practice extreme form of censorship on their website to filter and manage what readers see on their website. Yes, I have railed against the corporate media but liberal blogs are far worse.

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By Conservative Yankee, March 16, 2008 at 8:55 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

....it’s just not funny. The premise is also quite used.

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