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The Unwomanly Face of War

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How Much Is That Superpower in the Window?

Posted on Jan 21, 2008

By Andy Borowitz

New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg is “still trying to decide” whether to buy the U.S. presidency, aides to Bloomberg confirmed today, with the sticking point reportedly being the steep price of such an acquisition.

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In recent weeks, Bloomberg had been sending out positive signals about his interest in buying the highest office in the land, raising hopes among supporters that he might be preparing to throw his wallet in the ring.

In a speech in Oklahoma last week, for example, the mayor told an enthralled crowd, “In these divisive times, I believe that the American people are yearning for the leadership of a whiny billionaire.”

Bloomberg even floated a possible campaign slogan: “Vote for Me and I’ll Give You $10,000.”

Aides close to the mayor indicated that there were other positive signs as well, noting that Bloomberg had recently transferred $2 billion into his day-to-day checking account.

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“With that kind of money, you could either buy the White House or 10 Mitt Romneys,” said one aide familiar with the cash transfer.

But according to one of Mr. Bloomberg’s advisers, who spoke on condition of anonymity, falling real estate prices in the U.S. may have given the mayor cold feet about buying the presidency.

“At this point, buying the United States isn’t looking like such a good investment,” the adviser said. “At the end of the day, Mike might be better off buying Canada.”

Elsewhere, in a positive development for Vice President Dick Cheney, scientists in a laboratory at the University of Minnesota created a living rat’s heart.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2008 Creators Syndicate Inc.

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By brhorton, January 22, 2008 at 7:53 am Link to this comment

Ah, The ole “forty acres and a mule” routine

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By Douglas Chalmers, January 22, 2008 at 12:54 am Link to this comment

y Maani, January 21: “How do I do that,,,’

Its in Your Control Panel, Maani.

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By Maani, January 21, 2008 at 10:09 pm Link to this comment

Doug: How do I do that?

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By G.Anderson, January 21, 2008 at 10:07 pm Link to this comment

The economist, the other day had a picture of helicopters on the cover, flying in from the PRC,  flying in the direction of Wall Street. Those big red stars on their sides, would surely make Joe McCarthy roll in his grave. 

Mabye it’s time for Stephen Hawking to take over at the fed?

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By Douglas Chalmers, January 21, 2008 at 9:41 pm Link to this comment

By Maani, January 21: “Is there any way for us to contact one another outside of Truthdig - without going THROUGH Truthdig?”

T’Digs’s PM’s are OK, Maani. From there, one can provide an email address.

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By Maani, January 21, 2008 at 8:31 pm Link to this comment

Doug:

Even just the general part of the country?  LOL.

Is there any way for us to contact one another outside of Truthdig - without going THROUGH Truthdig?

Peace.

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By Douglas Chalmers, January 21, 2008 at 8:18 pm Link to this comment

By Maani, January 21: “Doug: Been meaning to ask you: what part of the country (or, indeed, the world) are you in…”

Because of what some have said against me here, that is necessarily classified information, Maani.

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By Maani, January 21, 2008 at 4:12 pm Link to this comment

Doug:

Been meaning to ask you: what part of the country (or, indeed, the world) are you in?

Peace.

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By Douglas Chalmers, January 21, 2008 at 3:17 pm Link to this comment

Hey, why not…...... by Expat, January 21: “That’s how they do it where I live…”

Wrong, Expat. Americans LOVE their military. They have had ex-military presidents in the past and will go back to doing so again if they have the chance.

Billionaires only rate a poor second or third. The USA’s god IS war and they worship WAR. Everything in the country has been subsumed by it if not actually sacrificed to it.

Oh well, “falling real estate prices” will soon prove this…..... GWB has no other answers! He could become president for life!?!?

Where you are, they love billionaires - and are sick of the military. Indeed, they are intelligent people!

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By rudy, January 21, 2008 at 11:44 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

seems the USA is going the same way like the roman empire in its last days ,when rich landowners and generals bought the titel Emperor…

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By Maani, January 21, 2008 at 9:57 am Link to this comment

As jackpine notes, if Bloomberg waits any longer, there won’t be much left to buy except the position itself, what with the Saudis, Chinese, etc. buying up everything in the U.S. at fire sale rates.  I hear even the White House and Oval Office furniture are going cheap.

As well, his campaign slogan is not really new: “Vote for me and I’ll give you $10,000.”  In fact, according to an article in Harpers, Romney paid many of the guests at his Iowa caucus fete as much as $10,000 to attend.  So Bloomberg is going to have to up the ante if he expects to outbid Romney.

Peace.

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By jackpine savage, January 21, 2008 at 7:38 am Link to this comment

At least he’d be using his own money instead of begging it from the people and borrowing it from the corporations before claiming that it was his “ideas” that brought him a “mandate” from 30% of the population.

He should wait a while longer though, the foreclosure sale will make it a real steal.  Though i can’t figure out why he’d want it in the first place…

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By Conservative Yankee, January 21, 2008 at 7:06 am Link to this comment
(Unregistered commenter)

I love humor… It ignores reality (that all the candidates are “buying the election”) Can be racist (so long as the “joker” has the same genetic DNA,) and now-a-days, it doesn’t even have to be funny. (what’s funny about having an entire slate of candidates beholding to corporate interests….Of course I’m talking about the candidates whom the corporate media support….unfortunately the ones who won’t do squat for most of us.

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By QuyTran, January 21, 2008 at 5:18 am Link to this comment

Himself !

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By Expat, January 21, 2008 at 4:34 am Link to this comment

That’s how they do it where I live.

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