I came across this rather late as you can see, but nevertheless still had a good laugh. Thanks for sharing, it is hard to find people with humor in today’s deadpan society.

Oh yes ...

That is very funny!
I particularly like the zipper, the wretched flying experience and congress vowing to “complain a whole lot” hee-hee!

Oh, and the “exit” signs! Priceless!
Wouldn’t it be a hoot if that’s exactly what he did?

I KNOW it’s satire, but my question is, do the politicians?  They have an uncomfortable habit of making jokes a reality.

haha awesome.  I’m not even sure what to say. Those are all hilarious.

One more prediction.In the year left in George Bush’s presidency not one good thing will happen for America.

By minamoto no taira, January 12: “The president will withdraw all U.S. troops—through Iran.” ...I hope you’re joking on that one…”

Poor USA just can’t seem to get it right these days, minamoto no taira. They are losing allies all over the place. Resenting Iran for being a democracy instead of a regal puppet is coming back to haunt them.

Now people in Taiwan have voted (yes, voted!) out their pro-Bush/pro-US government in a landslide in favor of closer ties with mainland Communist China. So ungrateful, eh, ha ha?

But does that mean that the US Navy will now take up permanently” patrolling” the Taiwan Straits? As you say, “Please be wrong”!!! Democracy NOW….

It’s Satire People….

By purplewolf, January 12: “you obviously have no sense of humor. Or maybe you don’t understand this article..”

Poor purplewolf, disambiguated by the perplexity of humor once again. Is it jealousy still or some other unidentified feeling denied as emotion?

Franky, I don’t give a damn about Andy Borowitz’ pathetic excuse for satire and I’ll post my own version of the story. If you can’t keep up, I’ll constrain myself to conversing on this topic with ‘minamoto no taira’ instead, uhh.

Doug, you obviously have no sense of humor. Or maybe you don’t understand this article written by Andy Borowitz. It’s satire, not reality. It states clearly that Andy is a humorist. If you read the whole comment I wrote in yesterday for February and September, it should have been evident that this is a spoof and not actual fact. Do you actually think that the Iran nuclear weapon which spews millions of copies of a Brittany Spears newest album is an actual weapon. Well in your case that very well might be. Sometimes you just have to think ridiculous things up to keep your sanity, otherwise your brain will explode if you have no way to release the stress brought on by the stupidity or just plain indifference of the political system we have today.

When I read your post from the 11th, I wondered what you were thinking as it appears you took the original article as actual fact. The statement,“I Can’t Believe Not Civil War,” is an off take from the commercials for the oleo product:“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” Lighten up or you will herniate your brain.

“...December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an exit strategy from Iraq. The president will withdraw all U.S. troops—through Iran.”

Please, please, I hope you’re joking on that one.  Please be wrong.

Given that Hillary IF she becomes President will have to be addressed as President Clinton and live in the WH will she then allow hubby Bill the use of that special room and desk where he and an aide spent many an ardent moment or two discussing the legal implications of the word “is”?

Or will she make it her own seraglio?. Answering this challenge will determine whether many a voter’s vote for the likes of Bloomberg, Bush or Bill’s wife.

2008’s News Before It Happens

By Maani, January 11: “One of my faves of all time.  Frankenheimer’s best.  Lancaster, Douglas, March and Gardner are all superb….”

I’m not sure what you are suggesting here, Maani. Before you start hiring purplewolf, note that she still actually believes that Iran’s been producing nuclear weapons despite ElBaradei’s best advice and she hasn’t a clue about February.

Nor has purplewolf got any dates logged for Pakistan or N.Korea even if it is inconvenient to fit them in with domestic politics .....er, I mean television, uhh. And GWB will be retiring soon even if he does cancel the elections.

If Cheney dies or goes comatose, that means that Condi Rice will run the show (maybe she is already?). Obama won’t need to apply except maybe for the Foreign Relations Committee to liase with his friends at AIPAC and in Israel.

So who needs a coup?... and who against who? Can you clarify? Even if things do get hot by May with an economic recession since December, the last thing anyone needs is a bunch of rightwing extremist (read white supremacist) groups crawling out of the woodwork.

That is what could happen, though, and there would be more than just rioting if Blackwater was used around the country the way they were in New Orleans. Of course, Arnie Schwarzenegger will have that all figured out and will be ready to step into the White House just when he isn’t welcome.

Purplewolf:

Brilliant!  I like yours even better!

Memo to Truthdig: Get rid of Borowitz and hire purplewolf!

Peace.

January: In Washington, Democrats again show their resolve to end the Iraq war by voting to fund research into technology that may someday allow scientists to grow spinal columns and/or cahones in the laboratory.

February: February is canceled due to a profound lack of interest.

March: TV executives search high and low for a game show concept even simpler and brain-numbingly dumber than “Deal Or No Deal.”

April: The next poll indicates a statistically impossible 110 percent of the American public now think the war is a bad idea.

May:Fans at Yankee stadium are horrified after the neck of pitcher Roger Clemens no longer can support the mass of his gigantic inflated skull and his head falls completely off. After the head is sewn back on, Clemens tells the reporters,“Look, I told you this has nothing to do with steroids or human growth hormones, OK?”

June: As an anti-war sentiment continues to grow,President Bush responds to demands for an “exit strategy” by installing actual exit signs all over Iraq. “See?” he says. “Exit strategy”.

July: Former Idaho senator Larry Craig leaves office to begin work as a pitchman for a new Charmin product-extra-wide toilet paper for guys with extra wide stances.

August: Congressional Democrats,again showing their resolve to stand firm against the Bush administration overwhelmingly approve a massive expansion of the Patriot Act,but only if the White House removes the part that says the CIA is allowed to install surveillance cameras in every-one’s bedrooms.

September: Iran announces that while it has stopped nuclear weapons productions, it still is working on weapons of mass destruction, namely a bomb that once detonated spews millions of copies of Brittany Spears new album across the landscape.

October: In a moment everyone saw coming, Americans begin sneaking into Mexico looking for jobs, Irony of ironies, Mexico immediately institutes a strict border control policy, deporting gringos on sight and erecting an electrified border fence.

November: On the eve of the elections, Vice President Dick Cheney undergoes surgery after suffering what is estimated as his 427th heart attack. He’s back on the job the next day, however, owing in part to the zipper surgeons installed long ago in his chest.

December: The airline industry, in an effort to complete the process of making flying the most wretched experience, requires full body cavity searches before boarding.

And finally, to no one’s surprise, President George Bush declares the result of the November election null and void, naming himself president for life.
In response, Congressional Democrats take a firm stand, vowing to complain,“a whole lot” about it.

Doug:

One of my faves of all time.  Frankenheimer’s best.  Lancaster, Douglas, March and Gardner are all superb.

But I’m not sure what you are suggesting here…Can you clarify?  Are you talking about a coup HERE, or THERE?  If here, who against who?

Peace.

There most probably will be a civil war in May - or not long after!

It might be the obverse of Seven Days in May (1964) but “I’m suggesting Mr President, there’s a military plot to take over the Government of these United States, next Sunday…”

In the novel, the story is set in May 1974, not long after the conclusion of a stalemated war in IRAN fought along conventional warfare lines similar to Korea. The motion picture is set four years earlier, in May 1970, as shown both by the day/date indicator in the Pentagon, and the reference by Jordan Lyman to “a year and nine months” before Election Day 1972…....

The plot itself, called ECOMCON (for “Emergency Communications Control”), entails the seizure of the nation’s telephone, radio and television network infrastructure by a secret United States Army combat unit created and controlled by Scott’s conspiracy and based near Fort Bliss, Texas…. http://history.sandiego.edu/gen/filmnotes/sevendays.html