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Eek! It’s a Wrinkle!

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Posted on Dec 19, 2007

By Ellen Goodman

BOSTON—And so we gather to praise the old feminazi hunter himself. Rush Limbaugh has single-handedly brushed aside the blinding snow on the windshield and let us have another clear view of the double standard running down this campaign highway.

This week, our man Rush offered a lengthy monologue about an unflattering photo of Hillary Clinton in the New Hampshire cold. He ended by asking the question: “Will this country want to actually watch a woman get older before their eyes on a daily basis?”

EEEEK! Hillary has wrinkles! Somebody call the exorcist!

Remember last summer when the nation was treated to a bit of fashionbabble about Hillary’s cleavage? This alerted us to the startling news that the senator had breasts. Two of them. News at 11. Now we are being treated to a psychodrama titled “The Candidate Has Crow’s-Feet.”

Let me stipulate that the photo was not one she’d put on Match.com. These days, candidates are like celebrities stalked by the sort of paparazzi who can find cellulite on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Anyone who wants to run for the presidency should first imagine herself trying on bathing suits in a fluorescent-lit dressing room while six of her worst enemies point their cell phone cameras.

Hillary made mocking note of this when she mounted the stage at an Iowa auction barn. “I’ve been to cattle barns before,” she joked, but “I’ve never felt like I was the one being bid on. I know you’re going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want.”

The now-infamous photo ended up on the Drudge Report with a caption reading: “The Toll of a Campaign.” Rush then picked up the old bat, I mean, baton, and ran off (at the mouth) with it.

The svelte and charming 56-year-old talkmeister framed his words about the 60-year-old Clinton who is getting older before our eyes on a daily basis as a cultural comment. He bemoaned the reality of a country “addicted to physical perfection.” He cited the laments of aging actresses. He oozed special sympathy to women, since older men look “more authoritative, accomplished, distinguished.”

Do you believe that this was a pro-woman rant? Then you also believe that Limbaugh’s routine about Hillary Clinton’s “testicle lockbox” is a paean to female leadership qualities.

What a long way we have come already in this campaign. Ten months ago, opponents were asking whether America was ready for a woman president. Now they’re asking whether America is ready for a woman getting older before our eyes on a daily basis as president.

Meanwhile, it’s become retro, maybe even feminazi, to notice the teensiest whiff of sexism. Hillary was accused of playing the gender card for merely mentioning that presidential politics was an “all-boys club.” If you complain about the heat, you’ll end up back in the kitchen.

So when Limbaugh talks about the older woman as a kind of Doriana Gray—a figure of such terrifying crone-ishness that we don’t even want her portrait in the Oval Office—we are required to acknowledge the talk of John Edwards’ hair and Barack Obama’s swimsuit. Not to mention the grimacing Giuliani and the robotic Romney.

Well, we do notice what both genders are wearing. But we have not yet passed the Equal Right to Be Scrutinized Amendment. Haggard still comes from old hag, which comes from witch, which rhymes with you know what. If Romney tears up, he’s sensitive; if Hillary cries, she’s toast.

In phase one of this campaign, Hillary was the experienced candidate. No gender need apply. In the last tense stretch to the first primaries, the headlines tell us she’s being humanized, which is a political synonym for feminized. When Hillary campaigns with her family, the media sometimes react as if she found Dorothy Rodham at Rent-a-Mom.

So it bears repeating, alas, that women still have to negotiate the Scylla and Charybdis of political life. If you’re seen as an authority figure, you aren’t seen as womanly; if you’re seen as womanly, you aren’t seen as an authority figure. By the time you tack through that narrow channel, you have—ohmigod—wrinkles!

In the 1990s, Hillary tried on more looks than Madonna. Now that she’s arrived at a comfort zone, she’s still studied for signs of cleavage, cackle and crow’s feet. Since there’s no whining allowed, she has to tough it out. At which point she’s accused of being too tough.

What a business this is. Come to think of it, maybe I’d prefer that bathing suit photo op. Only Rush, ol’ buddy, you go first.

Ellen Goodman’s e-mail address is ellengoodman(at)globe.com.

© 2007, Washington Post Writers Group

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By GB, December 24, 2007 at 3:56 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Agreed, GB, and some form of democratic socialism would actually be quite natural for the USA. The era of the big wheel and the big deal is over. Now, its time to try a little reality - like co-operation will save you!

Douglas Chalmers,
The big wheel and the big deal are alive and well.
The pirates in the White House have stolen it and gave it to their friends.
1. Cheney’s energy policy gave huge subsidies to the oil companies at a time when they are sucking up huge windfall profits from the war to tap the oil in Iraq.
2. Halliburton and Blackwater are taking billions in no-bid contracts escalating their prices through multiple sub-contracts. Halliburton has or had headquarters on the Cayman Islands so you can guess how that serves Cheney/neoCons/PNAC. Now they’re moving to Qatar. How American.
3. NAFTA/CAFTA continues to waste tax dollars from companies getting breaks to move their operations out of the country to exploit foriegn labor.
The reality goes on. This is called Corporate Welfare leaving our poor to get poorer and risk of health.
The only candidate I hear addressing all of these issues at the core as priority is Dennis Kucinich yet so many Americans are falling to the media hype who the front runners are. The media thinks the Rebs have more of a chance against Clinton and Obama so they are proping them up because they all have monetary stakes in the occupation in Iraq and corporate welfare going forward. The media is getting rewarded with more ability to dominate the message in this country by the FCC and no word from the Dem front runners on that.
That’s reality.
The Democrats need to wake up and do what’s right for this country or it may be another Reb president and slim Dem majority in Congress.

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By Thomas Billis, December 24, 2007 at 1:24 pm #

Thank God Rush is on the radio and we can only hear the Alzheimers setting in.Why would you quote a drug addled buffoon and then procede to write a column that educated people would read and wonder why am I wasting my time.

Report this

By Conservative Yankee, December 24, 2007 at 8:34 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Ellen Goodman wants a female president, but any female will do. UNFORTUNATELY those of us with memories think of her support of Geraldine Ferraro in 1984, and how fast she jumped ship when the candidate (and her presidential running mate) were no show campaigners.

Now I personally don’t give a rat’s ass what Fat-boy fruitcake Limburger breath says. BUT the fact that he hits Hill-the-business-shill with soft/gender renting balls of puff makes me wonder how much he really detests her.  Actually in this election, an endorsement from Rush might just be a kiss of death.

This is wonderland folks, nothing is as it seems, and our only hope (as a nation) is that the electorate (notoriously stupid, uninformed, and 50% uninvolved) can decipher the code of who’s who before November 08...less than 11 months folks!

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By Douglas Chalmers, December 24, 2007 at 3:24 am #

#122121 by antispin on 12/23: “Ooops .....I don’t like HRC because..... So I picked at her wrinkles a bit..... I love her crow’s feet...”

Uhh, you’re making that up as you go along, antispin. Too bad you’re such a dimwit.......

#121964 by GB on 12/22: “Socialized medicine would actually be a good thing because...”

Agreed, GB, and some form of democratic socialism would actually be quite natural for the USA. The era of the big wheel and the big deal is over. Now, its time to try a little reality - like co-operation will save you!

Report this

By antispin, December 23, 2007 at 5:51 pm #

Ooops.  I think I picked on her crow’s feet in conversation with someone about how the national conventions will be broadcast in HD.  I don’t like HRC because she’s pro-war and because she’s pro-corporatocracy.  So I picked at her wrinkles a bit, I hope that doesn’t put me in a group with Viceroy of Vicodin...horrors!  Ok, I love her crow’s feet.  I think they make her look intelligent - too bad she’s such a dimwit.

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By GB, December 22, 2007 at 7:45 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Opagene,
The police state is already here thanks to the Bush/Cheney crime gang.
Socialized medicine would actually be a good thing because it’s time to get this monkey off the backs of corporations in the US so they can compete on our soil with our workers given that practically every other capitalist country has socialized medicine. Also, if the CEOs of insurance companies aren’t getting the millions to a billion dollar packages they are currently getting to deny coverage for those who are supposedly covered, we could cover everyone in this country.
It’s a proven fact that privitization of social services is a failure at every corner.
Look at the billions wasted in Bush’s attempt to privatize his phony war on terror in Iraq. Contractors alone are taking 40% of the budget and our troops still don’t have the tools they need to survive the insanity.
I seriously don’t think Clinton will accomplish this though so if she’s in you won’t have to worry because she’ll have alot of corporate favors to pay.
Kucinich is my man because he loves America and knows that when everyone is covered, our nation will be safer from the fear and war mongers.
Propaganda is our biggest enemy in this country.
United we prosper.

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By Opagene, December 22, 2007 at 8:51 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

It’s noy her looks that are important. She is a real cranky old Bitch! Has nothing good to say. Follows Communism from her school daze and will bring Socalized medicine to America and a Police State is less than 2 Years.

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By cognitorex, December 22, 2007 at 5:44 am #

Rush Limbaugh and Hillary’s wrinkles
--cognitorex blogspot--

It would behoove everybody to remember that Monsieur Limbaugh is a comedian. He and his arch supporters only have to sit back and hear the howls from Democrats and feminists and then double over in great gales of laughter.
If you can step back from the stage so to speak and gain some perspective you can enjoy a master vaudevillian doing his routine (at your expense.)

Personally, I fell in love with Golda Meir when I was in my 30’s.

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By Marjorie L. Swanson, December 22, 2007 at 5:04 am #

Commenter #121421 obviously mistakes self-respect for fear. What “real” man is fearful of a little nagging? Is his self image that fragile?  What “real” man needs to think twice about placing power in the hands of candidates endorsed by anyone? Don’t “real” man and “real” woman have the ability to make up their own minds? Just a wandering wondering coming from one who has her own share of wrinkles and damned well earned every one of them!

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By John Borowski, December 22, 2007 at 4:22 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

The moron media (Or maybe cunning) neglect to accent what the candidates believe in, what they feel should be corrected in this country to bring back the land we once knew and instead focus on women’s breast, wrinkles, crow’s-feet, men’s haircuts, god as vice president tells me a great deal about the average person’s intelligence and maturity. There is nothing wrong with the country, the sky is still blue, the earth is still brown, and the grass is still green. What is wrong with the country is it’s infested with Republicans (Aka Conservative right wingers) that vitiate it to such an extent that it is the laughing stock of many other countries.

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By John Harvey, December 21, 2007 at 5:35 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Are we ready to watch a woman growing older by the day? We have watched male Presidents growing older for two hundred years. What does Rush want, a female Dorian Gray? Despite what Limbaugh says Fred Thomson’s wrinkles and baggy eyes do not make him more distinguished. Fred looks worn out and not up to running the most powerful country on earth.

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By GB, December 20, 2007 at 4:33 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

I guess after a while it gets difficult for Rush to make millions supporting the lies of the Bush/Cheney crime syndicate and sound legit. So what do you do but pull out the kiddie material and point your finger. He should be careful not offend the only Americans who take him seriously which is the 70 somethings that long for the good ole McCarthy days of the 50s.

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By F.R., December 20, 2007 at 1:10 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

No wonder Rush needs Viagra. In addition to swallowing them, he ought to shove 50 milligrams in each ear before he opens his mouth. It might increase the blood flow to his brain.

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By joey, December 20, 2007 at 11:40 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Isn’t the election process supposed to bring the cream to the top?  Today we have a admitted war criminal Bob Kerry, a not yet convicted war criminal G.W. , a obvious wacko Joe Lieberman , infamous bigot Rush Limbaugh, a baptist minister , a old warrior who is still fighting in Vietnam, a common hood and a quiz show host.  Is this the best we can do?  Maybe the election season is too long.

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By Outraged, December 20, 2007 at 8:00 am #

They say turnabout is fair play...so, in honor of Rush’s comments I’ll direct you to my favorite Rush Limbaugh video.  I enjoy this one every time I see it:

http://www.bushflash.com/nazi.html

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By John Borowski, December 20, 2007 at 6:44 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

If I was a fat ass with a beer barrel belly loaded with drugs. I wouldn’t talk about a crow’s foot on a female. I would abstain from too much on my plate so as my ass and belly would be not be even larger.

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By Margaret Currey, December 20, 2007 at 6:03 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

I made a comment to my acupuncturist that men thought that woman should not snore, her friend made the comment why don’t we have noses which means snoring is something that both men and women do, men also age, maybe woman wrinkle more than men due to the composition of the sex (women have more fat under the skin and as we age there is less and the result more wrinkles.)

Of course for Clinton to become president she can always have a lift and tuck the way Ms. Palosi did.

I think to talk about a person having wrinkles or a little extra weight is crazy, I thought we wanted a president with credentials after all Bill had bags under the eyes, etc.

I say let the best person win and I think that most people are mature enough to realize that wrinkles are a part of getting old, I always thought that the advertisement about removing wrinkles during the night was false because when you awake in the morning you look older than an hour later especially around the eyes, excuse me but when your eyes are closed for more five hours the eyes get little oxygen anyway that is what the eye doctor told me and I believe it.

But if you look at Ms. Clinton’s intellect she is very sharp, and if Rush would just look at himself he would stop putting his foot in his mouth.

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By Douglas Chalmers, December 20, 2007 at 4:38 am #

“...since older men look “more authoritative, accomplished, distinguished.” Do you believe that this was a pro-woman rant? Then you also believe that Limbaugh’s routine about Hillary Clinton’s “testicle lockbox”.....

Apart from “the ‘no onions’ strategy”, do we really know what that means?

Oh shit! I just got a “your browser is not supported” message when I visited Elle magazine’s site. Is this what happens to men who visit womens’ magazine websites, uhh???:-

Rush Limbaugh, who devoted many hours of radio raving to floating the charge that Vince Foster had not killed himself but had been murdered at the Clintons’ behest, described her as “the woman with the testicle lockbox,” whatever that means. “When she comes on television, I involuntarily cross my legs,” said CNN’s Tucker Carlson http://www.elle.com/featurefullstory/12603/hillary-cli nton-elle-magazine-january-2008.html

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By Dr. Knowitall, PhD, PhD, December 20, 2007 at 4:36 am #

Better to have crows feet around the eyes than to have elephant’s feet in them--Dr. Knowitall, PhD, PhD

I’ve been working on a saying people can use to advance/confirm their own political beliefs.  If you like this one and want to use it, feel free.  (I know you realize the elephant’s feet are those of “the elephant in the room.”

Here’s one other:

Being 180 degress from a lie does not necessarily make it the truth--Dr. Knowitall, PhD, PhD

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By weather, December 20, 2007 at 3:00 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Ellen our obsession w/vanity is only made worse by paying anykind of attention to Rush ‘the lush’ Lowbrow.
Another poorly raised child who found their teething ring behind a microphone. A bloated and constipated soul that needs to introduce some fiber into his diet.(he failed to read the Purdue Pharma disclaimer of side effects of their dark little contribution to Mankind, Oxycotin.)

Ellen its the cosmetic industry that plays so well into our fear that as we age we may somehow be less attractive to others, but sadly to ourselves. So they create list of adjectives to describe their valuless claims of ‘night repair, collagen, free-radical fighting, replenishing, rejuvinating, anti-aging, anti-gravity’ bullshit.
My Father practiced medicine for 47 years and as my Mother would accumulate yet another jar, tube or serum, my Father would simply say to her “Honey its a jar of hope”.

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By i,Q, December 20, 2007 at 1:51 am #

Thank you so much for bringing TD down to Limbaugh’s level while (not so) subtly shooting the gender moon and giving me nightmares involving the crow’s feet on Clinton’s cleavage (hers, not his).

There is a huge list of reasons why Hillary should not be the next POTUS and her baggy eyes and grating voice are near the bottom. Being a woman is not on that list, BTW, but we do have be able to listen to the State of the Union without bleeding from the ears. About the eyes, i don’t really care, they just set up this next bit: just look at Fred Thompson or Chris Dodd (he looks like the spawn of Yoda and Jabba the Hutt—but in a nice way).

Limbaugh is an idiot. He fouls enough of the airwaves without you parroting his invective and feeding his ego by giving him the satisfaction of a reaction.

Speaking of corpulent soulless leeches, bankrupt of integrity: i had hoped that we would rapidly see Cheney grow old and die right before our eyes. That didn’t happen. Ahhh, but one can dream....

See, i can be mildly humorous and substantively vacuous too.

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By P. T., December 19, 2007 at 11:47 pm #

If you stayed up keeping an eye on what Bill was up to at night, you’d have crow’s-feet, too.

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By the unwitting misogyny of Ellen Goodman, December 19, 2007 at 9:26 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

Most every time Ellen Goodman sets pen to paper, she sets women-in-politics back another year. Goodman, through her endless nagging, reminds any man with self-respect that he’d better think twice before placing power in the hands of candidates endorsed by Goodman; those people for whom problems of the world are subordinated to problems of the ego.

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