LOGO: Truthdig: Drilling Beneath the Headlines. A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.   Support Truthdig - Help us give you more
February 10, 2010
Log in / Register

 Choose a size
Text Size

Most Read

The Terror-Industrial Complex

America's Confused Approach to Afghanistan

Haiti, Forgive Us

So Much for Plan B

Palin Calls Global Warming Research 'Snake Oil Science'

Most Comments
Most Emailed

Reports
 * NEW! * Haiti, Forgive Us
 * NEW! * Kidnapping Is Not Charity

Ear to the Ground

A/V Booth

Arts & Culture

Digs
Financial Meltdown 101

Truthdig Bazaar
The Future of Liberalism

The Future of Liberalism

By Alan Wolfe
$17.13

GraceLand

GraceLand

By Chris Abani
$11.20

more items

 
Reports

A Dictator Gets Tips From an Old Pro

Email this item Email    Print this item Print   
Posted on Nov 11, 2007

By Andy Borowitz

In what he described as “an emergency mission to help a key ally in the war on terror,” President George W. Bush flew to Islamabad today to give President Pervez Musharraf tips on how to eliminate democracy.
Bush scheduled the trip just hours after Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections. “When it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience,” Bush said.
Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Bush said that although he commended Musharraf’s impulse to eliminate democratic institutions, he felt that the military strongman was going about it the wrong way: “When you’re getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you’re doing it.”
Bush said that eliminating such things as privacy, freedom of speech and a national constitution had to be done “very quietly and stealthy-like.”
“If I had gone on TV one day and just ended democracy like Pervez did, I would have caught holy hell from Maureen Dowd,” Bush chuckled. “You’ve got to be crafty about these things.”
Bush chalked up Musharraf’s decision to disclose the elimination of democracy as a “beginner’s mistake,” adding, “I’ve had six-plus years of practice at this.”
He also criticized the Pakistani dictator’s firing of the chief justice of the Supreme Court: “Trust me, if you’re going to get rid of elections, a Supreme Court could come in handy.”
Elsewhere, astronauts spent Saturday morning repairing a solar panel on the International Space Station, then spent the rest of the day drinking and stalking ex-lovers.
Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”

© 2007 Creators Syndicate

Advertisement


Elsewhere: .

Comments

Are you a Truthdig member yet? Login now, or register with Truthdig.

By Nancy, November 14, 2007 at 7:42 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

Hahahahah…maybe I’m tired, but that was FUNNY. Seriously, there is NOTHING hidden that will not be revealed. You can take that as a prophesy. Wait and see, forget me if it don’t happen…

Report this

By purplewolf, November 12, 2007 at 10:48 pm #

Ernest: If you or anyone else would like to see some of the times Bush makes his “dictatorship” comments, here are 6 samples from the monkeys mouth at: Truthdig—Interviews—You Have No Rights—# 95958 by purplewolf 8-19 11:43pm. These statements were witnesses on numerous occassions.

How justice remained blind and let this subhuman obtain the highest position in the country is beyond common sense. Especially one whose goals for America is a giant step in a backward direction.

Report this

By purplewolf, November 12, 2007 at 9:11 pm #

Ernest;

Damned creepy isn’t it?

How the son and grandson would ever be allowed into the position of president with this tainted past is beyond logic. Of course the majority of the people never heard about this in the past. Like his father, Jr. has his priorities everywhere but where he should. I don’t understand after all his public comments about turning America into a dictatorship while he was governor they didn’t string him up back in the 90’s and disallow him to ever be in any political office ever again.

When I was a child talk like that got a person life in a federal pen., or the death sentence. My how things have changed-for the worse.

Report this

By msgmi, November 12, 2007 at 3:55 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)

GW’s trip to Islamabad could not have been more timely. No doubt that GW is personally delivering to Musharraf a neo-CON laundry list of how to get things under control without losing control. Look for GW and Musharraf to have a hand-holding press conference in order to signal the region that mutual frienship is at its highest level. Several days later, Musharraf will declare and suggest that he will comply with the democratic principles of the Pakistani constitution, step down as its military kahuna, and seek exile in the United States. That should calm down the dissentors, give GW a feather in his diplomacy cap, and everything will be resolved. Leave it to GW, a master at solving world problems.

Report this

By cann4ing, November 12, 2007 at 2:48 pm #

purplewolf, earlier on this site an article was posted linking Prescott Bush to a fascist plot to overthrow the government of President Roosevelt in 1933.  Banking records, later uncovered, revealed that even after the Alien Property Administrator “caught on” to the Bush/Harriman financial links to the Nazi regime, Prescott continued to finance the Nazi war machine—even at a time when son, George H.W. Bush was fighting in the Pacific.  Tells you something about the value of money in the Bush household, doesn’t it.  Allan Dulles, who also had ties to the Nazis and spent the post-war years recruiting former members of the SS into service of the intelligence agencies, simultaneously shielded Prescott by gaining control of the German banking records and utilized that information to leverage Prescott into the services of the CIA.  Upon his election to the Senate, Prescott maneuvered his way onto the Senate Intelligence Committee where he was assigned the responsibility to oversee the CIA, but the real question was who was overseeing whom?

While it took a couple of more generations, it appears that the grandson is now potentially in a position to carry out the fascist plot originally hatched by his grandfather in 1933.

Report this

By jatihoon, November 12, 2007 at 1:35 pm #

Bush said to Mush, “pal follow my advise or you will go straight to hell.” Take off your miltary uniform and repeat after me, ” I musharaff, dictator of Pakistan hereby swear that I will take of my miltary uniform switch to civilian clothes so that I can keep covered my past misdeeds,and only stay President of Pakistan with full dictorial powers. AMEN

Report this

By Alan MacDonald, November 12, 2007 at 11:59 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

How true, and yet so sad (and dangerous), that Bush is so guilefully expert at the Orwellian propaganda of saluting and even celebrating ‘faux democracy’, will excuting the real thing.

But one must remember that Bush has the help of the entire global corporatist Empire behind this facade of ‘Vichy America’: the phony two-party ‘Vichy’ politics, the phony ‘Vichy’ MSM, and the devestating ‘Vichy’ economic wealth of Wall Street.

Recently Frank Rich in an NYT op-ed, “Coup at Home” allowed some truth about this comparison between Musharraf’s versio of democracy and Bush’s to slip out to the American public—- at least in humorous and implied form:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/11/opinion/11rich.html?n=Top/Opinion/Editorials and Op-Ed/Op-Ed/Columnists/Frank Rich

My following comments to Rich also apply to Borowitz’s humorous truth here.

“Yes, I agree with Mr. Rich that a “Coup at Home” is a problem—- whether one’s home is Pakistan or America.

Yes, real democracy is the only defense against coups (and also authoritarian dictators, kings, generals, fuhrers and emperors) in any country!

Unfortunately, the NYT editorial, which Mr. Rich referenced, “The Mess in Pakistan”, ends with this wobbly conclusion, which seems to only to prescribe the ‘appearance of democracy’—- rather than real democracy:

“Ultimately, democracy, not dictatorship, is the best hope for a stable Pakistan.  [But] Reviving General Musharraf’s back-room deal with the former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, however distasteful, may be a way back from the abyss if it includes a real commitment to elections by the general, if Ms. Bhutto insists that the elections be open to all parties and if Mr. Bush gives her strong backing.”

Thus the Times seems to be saying that regardless of how “distasteful” such a contrived and pre-scripted sham of democracy might be, that it is ‘the least worst’ possible outcome.

So perhaps, Mr. Rich, we have come to some insight on “Coup(s) at Home” that would enlighten people everywhere about the glaring contrast between Bush’s (and America’s) vaunted ‘Democracy Agenda’/‘Freedom Agenda’—- and the poor results that this ‘agenda’ has achieved everywhere.

The blunt truth is that Bush’s ‘Democracy Agenda’ can be reduced to the simple truth of a scheme to create only the ‘appearance of democracy’ in order to facilitate the maintenance of Empire——and that that truth applies universally to “The Coup at (our) Home” as well as “Coups at Home” in the Empire’s territories.

The big public glitzes that Mr. Rich accurately sees through in ‘Freedom Celebrations’ and ‘Democracy Agendas’ is more than what he calls an “Orwellian exercise in branding”, this is also the cynical franchising of the Empire’s success in marketing Orwellian faux democracy from its headquarters in ‘Vichy America’ outward to its global territories.

If the population, here at home, can be sold the ‘image of democracy’ through a sophisticated ‘Three Card Monte’ scheme of two apparently battling political parties, and an apparently objective press, then why can’t this facade of democracy by the corporatist Empire be sold throughout the world——after all, to multi-national corporatism this is just global marketing in the vaunted era of ‘globalization’.

However, the sad truth that will bring an end to this Orwellian ‘bubble’ of false success, and to the global corporatist Empire itself is the following:

Even to mention Bush’s “freedom agenda” or “democracy agenda” or (as Lieberman does) “democracy promotion” by the MSM is nothing short of Orwellian double-speak.

Report this

By ocjim, November 12, 2007 at 11:25 am #

“When it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience,” Bush said.

With this statement, I had to do a doubletake, considering that we and the media have let so many of Bush’s lies slip by us without challenge, he tends to say whatever he wants without accountability and without challenge.

In fact his distortions and deceptions have already infected the Republican presidential field, most notably Rudy, and still intimidates his wimpy, equivocating opposition.

Report this

By Douglas Chalmers, November 12, 2007 at 4:12 am #

There is really NO TIME LEFT FOR JOKES!!!

Report this

By purplewolf, November 12, 2007 at 1:15 am #

Ernest:
I have posted on TD in the past the dates and events when Bush in public made numerous comments about turning America into a dictatorship and the exact wording,including the one he made during his presidential address January 2004. I have dates going back to 1996. But what else could we expect, Grandpa Prescott Bush backed Hitler for several years with $$ before this government caught on. Georgie boy was weaned on fairy tales of fascism, torture, concentration death camps and dictatorships so this should come as no surprise when his Blackwater paid neochristian killers march down the streets of America taking out everyone who doesn’t practice their twisted rendition of Christianity.

Leefeller: I know what you mean about it being the truth.

Report this

By cann4ing, November 12, 2007 at 12:59 am #

Leefeller, do you remember early on when Bush said that it would be okay if the U.S. were a dictatorship so long as he got to be the dictator.  The said thing is that while Borowitz presented this as a stab at humor, I could very well picture the chimp-in-chief actually having that conversation with Musharraf.

You’re right.  Like the skit where dubya pretended to be looking for WMD under his desk, this one isn’t really funny.

Report this

By thomas billis, November 12, 2007 at 12:24 am #
(Unregistered commenter)

One guy is a ruthless dictator who robs his people of basic human rights and condones torture the other guy is Musharaff.

Report this

By Leefeller, November 11, 2007 at 11:34 pm #

HJumor becomes less funny, when it has a sembulince of truth, even worse when it is truth.

Report this

Add Your Comment

Posts by unregistered readers are moderated. Posts by members
are published immediately. Why wait? Register today!







Number of characters remaining: 4000

Notify you when others comment on this article?


Are you a human?
Retype the word you see here.


Please read and abide by our comment policy.
By submitting this comment, you agree to this site's terms and conditions.

 
 

 
Join the Liberal Blog Advertising Network
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A Progressive Journal of News and Opinion. Editor, Robert Scheer. Publisher, Zuade Kaufman.
Copyright © 2010 Truthdig, L.L.C. All rights reserved.