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Satire: Congress Hires Illegals to Write Immigration BillPosted on Jun 17, 2007In an attempt to break the nagging logjam over immigration, congressional leaders announced today that they were hiring illegal immigrants to write the nation’s new immigration bill. While some observers criticized the decision to employ illegals to draft the very bill that would regulate themselves, Sen. John Kyl, R-Ariz., said that the move was a “win-win” for the American people. “No one understands the thorny issue of immigration better than the people who have been sneaking into our country,” Kyl said. “Plus, these folks work cheap.” One outspoken critic of the plan was CNN’s Lou Dobbs, who blasted Congress for putting illegal immigrants in charge of the nation’s immigration laws. “This would be the equivalent of CNN outsourcing my xenophobic rants to Bangalore,” Dobbs said. According to the plan, which went into effect at midnight, the United States will bus illegal aliens across the border to work as “guest congressmen” to draft the nation’s new immigration laws. The illegals will remain in the country long enough to write the new immigration laws, after which they will be permitted to run for election for permanent congressman status. Juan Carmelo Gutierrez, 35, a former migrant worker who is taking advantage of the “guest congressman” program, says that while drafting the nation’s immigration laws is arduous work, he still prefers it to his previous job. “Being a congressman is definitely easier than picking fruit,” says Gutierrez. “Plus, you get most of the year off.” Elsewhere, the New England Journal of Medicine reports that people who play excessive amounts of Nintendo Wii may experience shoulder pain and may also never lose their virginity. Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.”
© 2007 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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By Chris, June 18, 2007 at 9:36 pm # Speaking of La Raza; MEXICAN AMNESTY AND OPEN BORDERS ACTIVISTS HAVE A DIRECT LINE TO OUR TREASONOUS SENATORS!!!!! FILL THESE VOICEMAILS WITH ENGLISH INSTEAD OF SPANISH. For those of you having difficulty getting thru to your senator, here is the 800 # paid for by the Mexican Amnesty and Open Borders Activists: 800-882-2005 This will get you directly to your senator unlike the #’s available to the US Citizen. Press 1 when you hear a Spanish message, then Press 1 again to be transferred to your Senior Senator’s office OR Press 2 when you hear a Spanish message, and you’ll be transferred to your Junior Senator’s office. It only takes a minute and you get through immediately. The call is paid for by the open-borders and amnesty supporters. WE NEED TO FILL THESE SENATORS VOICE MAILS WITH ENGLISH MESSAGES INSTEAD OF ALLOWING THEM TO BE FILLED WITH SPANISH. SPREAD THE WORD AND CALL NOW BEFORE ITS TO LATE!
By DennisD, June 18, 2007 at 8:41 pm # Why not, our corporations have been rewriting the tax codes for the last 35 years along with almost every other piece of legislation. Our reprehensibles in Congress don’t even read the bills that come before them now. It’s much easier to see which side of an issue has the biggest pile of money in front of it and vote accordingly. This article hits too close to home to be funny. By the way Andy, these are your Republicans in there now presiding over the train wreck known as the U.S. government, aren’t they.
By Tom Doff, June 18, 2007 at 5:33 am # This makes sense. We’ve outsourced Congress to Israel, why not delegate immigration to wetbacks? But if we really want to get this nation back on track, we should unload the White House on Poland.
By Carson, June 17, 2007 at 8:48 pm # La Raza was in on the drafting of the bill from what I’ve heard. Since the marches in May of 2006 it seemed clear just who was backing them. The American taxpayer! We’re the only ones with that kind of money. (Sort of) The Federal Government is allowing groups like La Raza access to our money before we are even able to pick up our checks and cash them. We are left little to support what we really want it to go for. It is totally against the principals of the United States of America when you turn a machine like the criminals in the government have against the will of the people. Here is a partial list of some of the money that has been looted from the American taxpayer. Look down at the end of the article. http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle. asp?articleID=25447
By Carson, June 17, 2007 at 8:46 pm # La Raza was in on the drafting of the bill from what I’ve heard. Since the marches in May of 2006 it seemed clear just who was backing them. The American taxpayer! We’re the only ones with that kind of money. (Sort of) The Federal Government is allowing groups like La Raza access to our money before we are even able to pick up our checks and cash them. We are left little to support what we really want it to go for. It is totally against the principals of the United States of America when you turn a machine like the criminals in the government have against the will of the people. Here is a partial list of some of the money that has been looted from the American taxpayer. Look down at the end of the article. http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/viewArticle. asp?articleID=25447
By Louise, June 17, 2007 at 4:08 pm # This brilliant plan is an obvious outcome of the outsourcing inquiries made regarding construction of the “Keep The Aliens Out Wall.” When Homeland Security and the administration discovered the illegal immigrants could provide labor, plans, construction materials and equipment at one third the cost, with a guaranteed completion time of six months, they realized they [the illegal’s] must know something we don’t. Rather than risking a brain hemorrhage trying to figure out what, they just decided to give the whole project to them. Meanwhile, assistant secretary to the Vice Secretary of the assistant secretary to the Secretary to the Assistant Director of Homeland Security, Sahd Dai Forahl acknowledged there was some concern about secret underground passageways, but “We’ll stay right on top of things.” He assured the press.
By kevin99999, June 17, 2007 at 3:21 pm # The GOP party is made up of deranged and crazy people with a twisted logic. May it is normal thing for GOP. After all, they have been inviting industry to writeregulations for themselves. Add Your Comment |
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