LOLOL!

I always thought Scott Stapp owed the short success of that preachy grind to the popularity of religion bred by the rise to power of the Bush Administration. Now that I think about it, Stapp wouldn’t have whipped Sanjaya on Idol with his grating whining selfrighteousness in this entertainment round. What drivel! Woe be unto the inhabitants of the Earth!

As for ol’ spit-on-his-hair-with-holey-socks, I was simply stunned that there was a woman on this planet desperate enough to go out like that. EVER! I’m usually left to question the validity of such rich reports while flipping through the Enquirer in the checkout line at the grocers. You know, the kind of unbelievable sensationalism that, when googled, gets that ‘oh, get real’ response. But, when I googled the wolfie affair, the return pretty near crashed my Toshiba with almost 5000 hits confirming my worst fears. This is one time when truth really is stranger than fiction. 

The little turdblossom just looks like he stinks, I mean just WREAKS! When I saw him spit in his hair on Fahrenheit 911, I damn near puked projectilely. Then, when his unshod cloven hooves appeared on the internet in the heel-free toe-less socks, I decided that somewhere a pedicurist was fianlly suing him for the damage done to her Black and Decker sander and the McCullough hedge trimmers. Then again, this very well could have been the result of his attempt at laundering his socks with his own spit before wearing them a second time. Venomous brimstone has that effect on poly-cotton blends of cloth. I am sure he requires an EPA permit just to remove his shoes, since he sweats some molten acidic treacle, a frightening substance which modern science has yet to properly identify. The man is beyond offensive to being lethal.

That notwithstanding, on this EARTH, some poor pathetic wretch who is rashly desperate for a mere semblance male companionship successfully got past that level of horrendous hygeine to freak Wolfie! And, she was obviously cavalier enough about it to not sue over the documentation of her tasteless insanity by every news organ in the known UNIVERSE! And, the devil’s purse is that she dumped Wolfman, once the scandalous crap left the fan, fairly certain that her milkshake can honeslty bring another male TREASURE TROLL to the yard! I’ve got to give her homely behind this: the who’ got confidence. She figured, because she nailed the Wolfman, there are obviously other machiavellian midget mutants out there to be tapped. Go, girl!

Mr Borowitz I know it is supposed to be humor but if we could ship the current executive and his cohorts to Al Qaida we could win this war on terrorism in no time.First tell George Bush that Al Qaida has no air force so he can leave the flight suit home.

Even Al-Queda isn’t that desperate for leadership. Plus he does a better recruitment job for them at his present status.

Heckuva new job Wolfie! I’m sure he’d take it if he can get al-Qaida to sign a waiver stating that he won’t be responsible for anything that goes wrong.

Thank ‘God’, I can’t believe Bush is doing something rational.

I was afraid he was going to make Wolfie Attorney General, and I’d have to have Gucci shackles made for my whole family.

Of course this appointment will create some confusion in the world of bloggers, since it’s still to be determined exactly what Al Qaida is. But since a good many are still trying to figure out exactly what Mr. Wolfowitz is, it seems a good fit.

Meanwhile the debate continues. Is Al qaida the short name for a database located in a computer, dedicated to the communications of the Islamic Conference’s secretariat?
http://www.waynemadsenreport.com/2005_11111118.php

Or, is Al Qaida colloquial for “I’m going to the toilet”?
http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/fakealqaeda.html

Irregardless, most feel confident that if it is the former, Mr. Wolfowitz knows how to log on. If it is the latter, confidence is high Mr. Wolfowitz knows how to do that too.