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 Send In Your Résumé—Lying Is a PlusPosted on May 6, 2007The White House in recent weeks has been quietly searching for candidates for the position of “lying czar,” a high-level administrator who would oversee all distortions and misrepresentations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a White House source confirmed today. News of the administration’s search for a “lying czar” raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many insiders believe that the White House already has enough personnel to handle the creation and dissemination of war-related lies. Specifically, many insiders wonder why an administration that already has adviser Karl Rove and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would also need a “lying czar.” “The Bush administration has a lot of world-class manpower, lying-wise,” one insider said. “This whole ‘lying czar’ thing seems like an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy.” But White House insiders disagree, saying that those who believe a “lying czar” is unnecessary are oblivious to the overwhelming volume of distortions that are sorely in need of coordination at a high administrative level. “On any given day, the Defense Department and the State Department will produce lies that are directly in conflict with each other, and that’s counterproductive,” one insider said. “A ‘lying czar’ would change all that.” Professor Davis Logsdon, who holds the Clifford Irving chair at the University of Minnesota’s School of Communication, says the need for a “lying czar” reveals certain weaknesses in the Bush Cabinet. “When I hear that the White House is looking for a lying czar, one thing becomes clear,” Dr. Logsdon said. “They really miss Rumsfeld.” Elsewhere, responding to criticism, the National Gardening Association said it would no longer use the term hoe. Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of “The Republican Playbook.” © 2007 Creators Syndicate 
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By Douglas Chalmers, May 9, 2007 at 7:43 am #
Now, waht could I put on my resumé? Iknow - “I only speak the TRUTH!” - Oops!!!
Report thisBy Tony Christini, May 7, 2007 at 11:37 am #
The DemReps unite to rule, very often, and spin off on their own as well. The Ds and Rs are both full of professional liars, obviously, and they keep trying to find better and better liars. The more internalized the lies are as “truths” the better. Best to know you’re not lying to the extent possible. The key in this, I think, is that you really have to not want to know. And then you have a chance of rising and shining on top. If you can believe it. As so many appear to, in both parties. All you need is a plan, a PR Plan, today’s snake oil, “the best of all possible” plans:
Last week, President George Bush the Second did Senate and House leaders Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi the biggest favor of their Congressional lives by vetoing the Democrat Iraq War funding proposal first, in pretending to differ significantly with the Democrats, and, second, in preventing any War funding going forth, for the moment.
The Presidents main complaint was that the plan provided a poor set of teeth to keep biting into Iraq and sucking out the rest of its oil.
In vetoing the Pelosi-Reid-Obama-Clinton-etc Iraq War Plan, the President announced, I am not accustomed to being at a loss for fangs.
He seemed concerned that the mere regular full set of teeth offered to him by Congress would not be enough to satisfy his thirst, bottomless as it is.
No matter. Pelosi and Reid readily returned to the rest of their plan for controlling Iraq popularly known as the PR Plan.
They vowed, We will work with the President in whatever way we can. They meant the statement to be totally ambiguous, but unfortunately for them, upon uttering it, the official pair instantly collapsed to the ground, apparently for lack of some vital measure of blood and bone, as well as some bizarre overabundance of scales, claws, and oozing oil.
Defunding the war immediately is totally impossible, uttered Pelosi and Reid in unison while slithering across the ground, sliming their way back to their Gang of Democrats. The Republican Gang applauded silently from the side. ...
http://apragmaticpolicy.wordpress.com/2007/05/06/th e-pelosi-reid-plan-to-abolish-america/
Report thisBy Michael Boldin, May 7, 2007 at 11:07 am #
Politics and politicians - the same has held true for centuries….they lie, distort, hide, etc - to gain power for themselves. In American history, some have been much “better” than others, but none seem to do it more often that this criminal gang in the White House right now…
The oldest game in the book, though. A good read on this:
“Politicians Lie? Say it Ain’t So!”
Report thishttp://www.populistamerica.com/politicians_lie___say_i t_ain_t_so
By Louise, May 7, 2007 at 8:32 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
Of course the first name that springs to mind is Richard Cheney. But it appears the volume of lying has even gone beyond his capable management. (where’s Libby when you need him?)
So maybe we need to look to the current crop of repub presidential wannabees.
McCain probably wont win, and Lieberman seems eager to please.
Oh I forgot. He’s not running ... yet.
Being able to lie with a strait face will be an essential qualification, but not the only one.
The successful candidate will also have to be able to remember things ... for a long time. Unfortunately, the current crop of candidates all seem to have difficulty remembering their positions. Which of course knocks Gonzales off the list, even though he does have a certain mastery of the art of lying.
Maybe the White House will have to look to the other side of the aisle for a qualified appointee!
Wait a minute ...
Report thisDoes Tenet have a job?
By Christopher Robin, May 7, 2007 at 4:28 am #
(Unregistered commenter)
I’m not sure the Bush administration could be that candid?
How about a “Truth Czar”?
Report thisBy Verne Arnold, May 7, 2007 at 2:30 am #
Any idea how much it would pay? I might move back to America if it was say, 80k up. I mean, a “Czar” should make that much shouldn’t he/she?
Nah, I’d be busted on my first reference.
Report thisBy Terry, May 6, 2007 at 11:31 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
I’ll apply for this post, because I have a great memory, and clearly, well as clearly as I can recall, all of the people in this admin don’t, so they really need someone to coordinate and remember the lies, so that when they’re lying, I can tell them that that’s ok because they used that lie before, otherwise they may make themselves look really stupid if someone, say in the press, pointed out that what was just said was in fact a lie, I know that’s not really going to happen, but best or is it worse case scenario, you have to be ready. Please find attached my CV, I used to work for the NSA, CIA, I was the Director, FBI, NASA, The World Bank where I was the president, and former head of the Army
Report thisBy QuyTran, May 6, 2007 at 6:59 pm #
Bush/Cheney and their whole criminal administration are falling down to the pile of excrement.
Report thisBy THOMAS BILLIS, May 6, 2007 at 6:41 pm #
(Unregistered commenter)
Now if the National Gardening Association would get rid of the use of the word spade we would really be getting somewhere.But I digress.There is already a place where the little lies are coordinated into one big lie and that is the Press Secretaries office.As Tony Snowjob has said many times if I was not a good liar could I have worked at Fox News.I am sure that your idea is being given consideration at the highest levels of government.You are a true American patriot Mr Borowitz.
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